Masturbation instructions

Discussion in 'Sexual Fetishes and Fantasies' started by Joechive918, Oct 23, 2014.

  1. Joechive918

    Joechive918 Member

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    New to the community here, but I have to say and I'm not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing, but I've been almost addicted to reading all of your posts!

    That being said here is my thing.

    I absolutely love being told what to do step by step when doing a solo masturbation session, whether though chat or whatever may be. I love doing pretty much anything that may come up (no pun intended). Crossdressing while masturbating is a lot of fun, playing with dildos... And like I said, pretty much anything else that may come to mind. If there is anything that I haven't tried, you only live once right?? :)

    If anyone has any ideas or websites that they have in mind I'd be glad to oblige and even engage in whatever you all can come up with.

    Oh and forgot to mention I am a male.

    Looking forward to your replies!
     
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  2. Doitagain

    Verified Gold Member

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    I love masturbation . Mutual bis great also. But as far as receiving instructions it doesn't quite do bit for me. Just sort of distracted. Almost like it turns it to work. However some situations can be hot. I have enjoyed giving instructions but honestly I loose track because I am busy with myself and get lost in it
     
  3. Joechive918

    Joechive918 Member

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    It usually takes a LOT longer when receiving/giving instruction for me, but I'm always up for it because it's such a huge turn on for me being told what to wear, what to do, how the person likes me to do it etc etc.
    Just the thought of someone telling me to slide my leggings on and whatever "outfit" they choose for me turns me on!
     
  4. Ted7591

    Ted7591 Active Member

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    For the Men
    Masturbation is considered by many to be the cornerstone of sexual health. Most men believe that they already know everything about their own genitals and sexual response. It’s all out there, boys will be boys, etc. But just because you know how your tools work, doesn’t mean you can build the Eiffel Tower.

    Also, contrary to popular belief, a penis doesn't make a man. Most men have penises, yes. And most like the way they feel, true. But not all men have penises, or penises that feel good, or that they want to use in the context of sexual pleasure. This might be better described as a guide to masturbating for penises. If you're curious we have another guide to masturbation for clitorises. And a third one that is simply masturbation for everyone.

    One generalization that can be made safely for most men, is that they experience a fraction of their full erotic and orgasmic potential. Read on for simple and fun tips to change that for yourself.

    Here's How:
    1. Make time for more than a quickie.
      Most guys first learn to masturbate in secret and furtive ways. They do it quickly and when evidence exists, they need to figure out what to do with it afterward. This can create a powerful pattern of masturbating quickly, without paying attention to where your sexual arousal can take you. To start exploring something different, make sure you have some extended time and privacy for yourself, when you aren’t trying to finish quickly before someone interrupts.
    2. Turn off the porn (just for a while) and tune into your body.
      Not everyone likes pornography, but a lot of guys do, and while porn can be great, the fantasizing and projection takes you out of your body at least a little. This can distract you from what’s actually happening in your body. You don’t need to throw the porn away, but for a few times, masturbate without porn, and objectify yourself for a change!
    3. Do a...dry...run through.
      Bad pun aside, it’s a good idea to try the above suggestions, and then just masturbate as you normally would. As you do this pay attention:
      • Changes in your breathing: Does it become shallow and quick, slower and deeper?
      • Changes in your body: is there tension in some places, and relaxation in others? Is this the same every time you masturbate?
      • How does it feel just before you have an orgasm?
      • How does it feel as you orgasm, and immediately post-orgasm
    4. Time to switch it up.Men learn early in their lives the most effective way to get themselves off. And most never waver from the utilitarian approach to self love. But sex is less like a well oiled machine, and more like a chaotic food fair with an endless selection of ways to satisfy your appetites. It’s time to throw a wrench in the works and shake up your routine. Try any combination of the following suggestions:
    5. Does your left hand know what your right hand is doing?
      Do you always use the same one hand to masturbate? Most guys do. If you’re among them, start with the simple tip of switching hands. It can feel strange at first, the rhythm might be off, it’s almost like sex with someone new for the first time. Enjoy the newness, and see if a new hand can teach an old hand some new tricks.
    6. Experiment with positions.
      If you aren’t an experimental type, it’s time to start. If you’re used to masturbating lying down on your back, try sitting up. If you normally sit in a chair, try kneeling or lying on your side. As with all these changes, this might feel ridiculous at first, and you’ll probably go back to old faithful, but it's worth trying out a few new masturbation sex positions, to see if they bring any new sensations.
    7. Get your hips moving.
      The way your body moves when you masturbate is probably very different from the way it moves when you’re having sex with someone else. Many men don’t move at all when they masturbate. You know your body best, so think about what kind of movement you have and can explore, and then try to add it in when you are masturbating. If it works for you, try to move your hips when you masturbate. Notice how moving your hips in different ways can bring you closer to, and at times take you farther away from, the point of orgasm.
    8. Use different hand strokes.
      Most men learn early on that a vigorous stroke does the trick. This intense up and down stimulation usually ends in a good orgasm. But there are dozens of other strokes that each bring with them different sensations, and different orgasms. If you masturbate primarily by touching your penis, try to toll your penis in between your hands, moving your hands up and down your shaft. Try using long twisting strokes instead of just up and down. Experiment with different movements, pressures, and speeds.
    9. Explore your shaft.
      While most of the nerve endings in the penis are at the head, and specifically the frenulum, many men will have spots on their shaft that are unusually sensitive. Try putting one hand at the base of your penis and press it towards your body while experimenting with different hand strokes along the shaft of your penis. Treat this like a treasure hunt, and try to feel the difference between one side and the other, between stimulation near the base and up near the tip.
    10. Reach around, yourself.
      For many men the balls (testicles) are a very sensitive area that responds well to feelings of touch and pressure. Take your forefinger and thumb and make them in a circle at the top of your scrotum. Gently tug on your scrotum as you're masturbating. This is both a way to delay ejaculation and a way to extend sexual feelings in your body. Experiment with other kinds of touch including tickling, scratching, and rubbing.
    11. Check out the neighborhood.
      While the penis and scrotum tend to be the epicenter of masturbatory attention, if you’re looking to open things up a bit, be sure to take a tour of some other nearby areas. The perineum, the area between the scrotum and anus, is very sensitive to pressure and massage, and rubbing it provides external prostate stimulation. Speaking of which, don’t be afraid to explore the anus, both externally and by using a finger for penetration.
    12. Bring it all together.
      Not everything you try is going to do it for you, but the idea is to try lots of different things, and then incorporate whatever you like into the ways you regularly masturbate. Maybe it’s a different stroke, or position, or breathing technique. Obviously there is no one, correct way to masturbate, and even if you’ve got something that works for you, consider the fact that there could be more out there if you experiment with it.
    Tips:

    1. A myth about male masturbation is that you shouldn’t use anything other than you hand. While your hand might be doing the trick, adding some accessories can make the stimulation even more intense, and inspire more creativity with yourself, and with partners.
    2. Get a good quality personal lubricant. If it’s only for masturbation you can use something that’s oil based without worrying about condom compatibility. Oil based products are better because they won’t dry up.
    3. Add a sex toy into the mix. It might be a vibrator, a dildo, or a cock ring (if you’ve never tried one I recommend trying one on your own before you use it with a partner). Sex toys can add a completely new kind of stimulation, and accentuate the manual stimulation you're doing.
     
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  5. Ted7591

    Ted7591 Active Member

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    For the Ladies
    We’re always hearing that we could be having better sex, a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we actually hear the nitty-gritty details of how we might actually achieve those things? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a licensed sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the specifics. This week’s topic: How to masturbate.

    Q: I’ve heard the advice that you need to learn how to get yourself off by masturbating. I’ve tried masturbating before, but I just can’t figure out how to do it without a vibrator. Sure, some things feel good, but unless I use a toy, I can’t reach orgasm with just my hand. It’s just that nothing ever feels that amazing, and I give up. I feel like an idiot! Is something wrong with me? What should I do?

    A: Please don’t feel badly! No one ever gets taught how to masturbate, and there are plenty of women who feel just as clueless as you do. I’ve been asked this question by almost every female client I’ve ever had.

    I “prescribe” masturbation to most of my clients, so I’ve come up with specific instructions for learning how to masturbate. Let’s go through the steps.

    EXAMINE YOUR FEELINGS
    The majority of my female clients feel at least somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of masturbating. Our society isn’t very accepting of female masturbation, so most women feel a mixture of guilt, shame, embarrassment, and anxiety when I suggest that they start exploring their bodies.

    It sounds like you’re not opposed to masturbating, but that you may still have some conflicting feelings about it. It’s worth taking the time to explore your beliefs about masturbation. Women who find themselves particularly hesitant may want to ask themselves questions like, “where did these feelings about masturbation come from?” and “do I want to let these beliefs continue to operate in my life?” If you find you have a real mental block about masturbation, then you might want to examine where that comes from with a professional.

    LEARN THE BASICS
    Women masturbate in a lot of different ways, but a lot of my clients have found it useful to get a sense of what the process tends to entail. In general, most women masturbate by stimulating their clitorises. Research has found that women are most likely to reach orgasm by stroking diagonally across the clitoris. Women usually need a fair amount of time to warm up, and require repetitive, consistent stimulation to climax. On average, women take about 20 minutes to orgasm.

    MAKE THE TIME TO PRACTICE

    Learning how to masturbate is like learning any other skill — it takes practice. You’re going to feel a little bumbly and awkward at first, and it’s going to take some time for you to get the hang of it. Most women’s lives are pretty busy, so I usually tell my clients to schedule in time to practice masturbating. Try to carve out 20-30 minutes twice a week.

    You might be thinking, “20-30 minutes? How the hell am I supposed to fit that into my schedule?” It’s natural to feel some resistance, and you may have to remind yourself why you’re doing it. For example, “I know I feel embarrassed about having to practice this, but I do want to learn more about my body.” Challenge yourself to make this a priority, but don’t ever force yourself to do it when you genuinely don’t feel like it.

    To make masturbating feel like less of a chore, I encourage my clients to set their practice sessions up to be as enjoyable as possible. Take a bubble bath, put on some music that you like, or wear a little slip that makes you feel hot. Take your time touching other parts of your body and trying to help yourself feel relaxed and sexy.

    FOCUS ON EXPLORING FIRST
    When you first start experimenting with masturbation, try not to put any pressure on yourself to orgasm. A lot of women get overly goal-oriented about climaxing, which can suck all of the fun out of masturbating.

    Think of what you’re doing as trying to learn what kind of stimulation feels good for you, rather than trying to learn the quickest possible route to orgasm. You have an entire lifetime to masturbate, so there’s no rush to hone in on a foolproof method immediately.

    Spend a couple of weeks exploring a number of different techniques. Try two to four strokes each time you practice, and compare and contrast them to each other. Try different speeds and different levels of pressure. Start building a list in your head of the techniques that make you feel the most pleasure.

    SPECIFIC TECHNIQUES TO TRY
    So let’s get down to the real nitty-gritty. How exactly are you supposed to touch yourself? Below I’ve compiled a list of strokes to try.

    • Try a diagonal stroke. Imagine that there’s a clock over your clitoris, with the 12 closer to your anus, and the 6 closer to your belly button. Stroke from 1 to 7 if you’re a righty, or 11 to 5 if you’re a lefty.
    • Use one finger to run circles around your clitoris, without touching it directly.
    • Try rubbing your clitoris with one finger, two fingers, three fingers, four fingers, and your entire hand.
    • Using two fingers, place one on each side of your clitoris. Rub up and down. You can also try side to side.
    • Tap your clitoris with one or two fingers.
    • Use the lightest possible touch to gently flick over your clitoris with one finger.
    • Keep your underwear on (you can also try this with a rougher fabric like jeans) and rub your clitoris through the fabric.
    • Pull your outer labia together and rub your clitoris through the folds of skin.
    EXTRA CREDIT
    Here are a few other experiments to try:

    • Use lube to help your fingers glide over your clitoris more easily.
    • Try masturbating in different positions. Some women like being on their stomachs. Others like being fully outstretched.
    • Stimulate your clitoris with other objects. You can try grinding against pillows, or positioning yourself under the faucet in the bathtub.
    • Try holding your breath for short periods of time as you masturbate.
    • Engage your muscles as you masturbate. Separately, try tightening your toes, fingers, and abs. Then try tightening all of them at once. Try squeezing and holding your PC muscles too.
    FIND YOUR FAVORITES
    Try out all of the aforementioned techniques, and take notes on what you liked and didn’t like about each of them. Then see if you can answer these questions:

    • My favorite stroke is:

    • The number of fingers I like using is:

    • The speed that feels right is:

    • The level of pressure that works for me is:

    • This extra credit technique feels great:
    BRING ORGASM INTO THE PICTURE
    After a few weeks of experimentation, start seeing if you can reach orgasm. Give yourself 30-40 minute blocks of time so you don’t feel rushed. Take your time getting your entire body warmed up with light, feathery touches. Tease yourself a bit.

    Next, try running through a couple of different strokes and pick the two that feel best in that particular moment. Use one stroke for about three minutes, then switch to the other for three minutes. Keep switching back and forth until you notice that one of the strokes feels better than the other. Stick with that stroke for the remainder of your session.

    Try going a little harder and faster with that same stroke. You’ll probably notice your level of pleasure ebb and flow. Don’t analyze what’s happening — just keep your focus on the sensation in your body. Up the speed and pressure a little more, and see if you can let yourself go over the edge. It may take longer than you expect, so keep going until it stops feeling good.

    Don’t expect to reach orgasm the first time, and don’t be disappointed if you don’t. It takes a number of tries for most women. Keep trying to get yourself get a little further each time. More than anything, remember to enjoy the process! And remember: there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.

     
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  6. Ted7591

    Ted7591 Active Member

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    Just being a service to my fellow person. Have fun boys and girls.
     
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  7. goldnuts

    Verified Gold Member

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    I think I may give this a go...
     
  8. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

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    'Stralia Mate!
    Another suggestion; I found that by walking around and masturbating it does something inside that intensifies enormously.
    I guess it must be the prostate being massaged by the movement of the legs but whatever it is OMG!
     
  9. HotForHoney

    Gold Member

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    Ohhhh, you could play fitness trainer/trainee...


    Make him walk on a treadmill jerking off, do push-ups over you so you can suck his dick,...
     
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  10. Cappy_Dick

    Gold Member

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    Links to the about com pages would have sufficed to those interested.

    xx
     
  11. 10_3XL

    Verified Gold Member

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    I've noticed something about our friend:
    oblivious.jpg
     
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  12. Cappy_Dick

    Gold Member

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    word.jpg
     
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