Masturbating about my wife

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Eros, Jul 20, 2005.

  1. Eros

    Eros New Member

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    I have never before thought about having sex with someone that I was currently having sex with. However, with my wife, when sex is not as often for whatever reason and I feel the need... I have been thinking about her while I, well, masturbate. And dont think about anything much different than what we already do.

    Is this unusual or the way it is for most couples?
     
  2. Thorn

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    I'm not sure Eros but I would say you and I are the minority if we think of our wives when we masturbate. In years past I would picture the male actor as me, doing it to the girl in the flick most of the times. I would sometimes feel guilty as if I was cheating on my wife even though it was all in my head. Our love and sex entered a new realm a while ago and I truly think of her and me when I masturbate watching porn now. Which is maybe twice a month now, as opposed to 5 to 8 times a week before we "reconnected."
     
  3. Logger

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    Visualizing:

    I will more than occasionally hink of my wife when I masturbate. I also like to look at porn while masturbating. Men have a drive to visualize, so it is not cheating. Even a strict sense of cheating, not forming the intent to cheat. Often I will think of the last time I climaxed with my wife, as I am climaxing during masturbation.

    Cheating begins wit the intent to cheat. If you are looking at porn wtih the idea of enjoying the visions, and not cheating, then the visions are not part of cheating.

    Visions can be a part of cheating. If someone views or maturbates to porn witht he idea of builiding up an excitement to approach another person for cheating, then that visioning would be a component of cheating.

    My wife does not like to get squirted in the face, but seems to enjoy the attention for me to squirt on her bare buns, or between her naked thighs. Can your wife be with you when you jack off?

    Blessings
     
  4. Thorn

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    Logger your comments about cheating, thoughts, etc. are well stated. She likes it in the mouth or anywhere on her except directly in the face. Sometimes I will pull out from intercourse just before I cum and shoot it on her. On a few occations I have jacked off all the way with her watching. ;)
     
  5. Eros

    Eros New Member

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    I do think about other women (no one specific other than porno girls) too. I don't really feel guilty cause I would much rather be in a relationship with my wife than anyone else. The only guilt I have is running down to the porn store when she doesn't know. Sometimes I also worry about some of the harder porn that I don't think she would be into. Otherwise its all good.
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Eros, we had times when I am sure that "Thorn" had those thoughts. Trust me, it's normal. I bet he even thinks about those big boobs in the movies (LOL) - I only got "C" cups!
    But it's normal - and I didn't know about the harder stuff he looked at - once he shared his aversion to porn, he felt relief.
    I was a HIGHLY sexual person from ---years--of sexuality. And hearing his interest actually turned me on. It was, perhaps, a catalyst to what he and I have today.
    When he runs down to the porn store now, he makes sure he knows what I want, too ! LOL
     
  7. MrK40

    MrK40 New Member

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    She doesn't want to know if I masturbate and does not like me touching me in her presence. I have an interesting life.
     
  8. Thorn

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    But there's always hope. The first few years of our sex was great then it went to "OK" with some not "OK" periods in there every now and then for years. Then about the time the kids grew up and moved out it became terrific and it still is. A number of factors contributed to the change but I think the main thing that helped is that my wife started feeling better about herself and her sexuality. She started getting in better physical shape, her schedule outside the home changed so she was home more evenings, etc. We didn't have a plan it all just worked out the it did somehow. If you could help her start to do things that would make her feel better about herself it couldnt hurt. JMO
    :toast
     
  9. Logger

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    Dear MRK 40,

    I have had women reject my masturbating at various times in forelplay. Will your woman pump you? Lately, I have been putting my wife's hand on my penis, and asking her to squeeze once in a while.

    I would encourage you to try alternatives. My wife rejects me, and I back off copletely for some 5 minutes. But the it seems I am able to start again with some new aproach.

    Have you discovered a rejection cycle time? If you only lose 5 minutes, just try it once a week. at various times of the foreplay, and see where she might be OK with your self-stimulation. I like dry-humping better than jacking-off anyway. What else works for your woman?

    Does your woman like you to rub her thigh, calf or leg muscles with your tip. I jack-off into my wife's large muscles sometimes.

    Blessings
     
  10. -G-

    -G- New Member

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    ther is nothing wrong with a fantasy life as long as thats all it is. I think it is a good sign of your feelings for your wife that you masterbate thinking of her. I would recommend trying to video your sexlife and explaining that you like to masterbate thinking of her and you also like porn. So why not combine the 2 - she might not go for it so dont be pushy, but if she does it could take the relationship to a whole new level.
     
  11. Logger

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    Double Masturbation

    DOUBLE MASTURBATION:

    I jacked off this morning, while I was massaging the side of my wife's vagina, in 3/4 to 1 Inch, soft, circuar motions. Occasionally, I would press her bun muscle with my thumb. So I think that was Double Masturbation. I was jacking myself off, and masturbating my wife.

    W seemed not to be in the mood for regular sex, or even dry humping. So I started out dry. I just massaged teh side of her vagina in smally gentle cricles, while I wanked on my penis. I was breathing hard, and getting excited. I was hopng Wife would get wet, but she did not. I had to keep my circles soft and gentle, because without lubrication, my wife is sensitive. Best I understand, my wife gets irritated wh I am pressing dry pussy hairs against her clit.

    After a while, W seemed to get a little aroused. I sucked her nipples for a hwil, and she turned to a postion for dry humping. So I got the baby oil and vaseline and Astroglide. I put vaseline on her pussy, so I could make stronger strokes, without pressing dry pussy hairs against her clit.

    I let W rest for a whle, and her face was away from a TV. so put on an erotic tape, that I have overspent for on eBay. I let w lie untouched, so I would not arounse her while I watched my soft porn, and jerked off. I did not want my Wife to see the porn I was watching, because I don't like to hear the criticism of my character, that she can sometimes come up with about my enjoying porn.

    After a while, I turned off the DVD, and went back to work on my wife. I had some of tee recent erotic visions form the soft porn in mind, as I dry humped my wife. So I felt satisfied, with this process.

    Hope other husbands get more regular sex, but I just try to make do with what W is willing to give.

    Better Ideas?
     
  12. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    No better ideas, Logger. You are making the best of a difficult situation. I suppose the fact that she lets you touch her and caress her, and get off - that is a good thing. Your kind thoughts in hoping other husbands get more sex is touching.
    Personally, I like watching porn, and it does help get me in the mood when I may not be there. It is a good tool for us OLD coots. :lol
    I know your W is very religious, and sometimes that can make someone a bit less sensual, but sensuality is a gift of God. Can you imagine f**king, if it did not arouse you? I mean, the thought of it, with out any pleasurable feeling would be grotesque!!!
    Surely , God knew what He was doing when he made it feel really, REALLY good!!! :tup
     
  13. Logger

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    Dear Rose,

    Thanks for the feedback. I wish my wife could enjoy wathcng DVD's of Las Vegas Girlie shows with me. But this is what is working for now, so I will work on improving myself in other areas.

    Blessings
     
  14. Logger

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    Delaying Masturbation until W is Available for Cuddling

    Techniques for waiting till W is available and in the mood for cuddling.

    My wife seems to appreciate me squirting her, when she is not ready for vaginal sex. W does not like to be squirted in the face, but her breasts, stomach, legs, and crotch all seem to be acceptable targets for my white cum. I have had at least one girl friend, who raised a fit, if I started mastubating when she was not in the mood. So at least I have the option of cuddling and masturbating with my current W.

    So sometimes I am in the mood for masturbation or sex, and my W is not around, or not in the mood for cuddling. Usually W is not in the mood for cuddling untless she is watching TV or napping in the marital bedroom, so even if W is home, and i am in the mood to massage my penis, it is sometimes necessary to wait, until W becomes recptive to cuddling.

    I can just keep my hands off my penis, and that discipline allows me to save my white cum for cuddling or sex time with W. But sometimes, I will just lie around and think about how I would like to be sexually stimulated, and then I have wasted time, that could have been spent making things better. So my challenge is how to avoid daydreaming about sex, and get things done, that wil make sex better, as W will be more appreciative that I have done more things to make things better for her and the family.

    I suppose I could get myself started doing other things, when I notice that I am day dreaming about sex. I could tell myself that I will have better sex, if I get started sooner doing some things for the household.

    Ideas?
     
  15. Kai

    Kai New Member

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    its good thing u jack off about ur wife and ur still interested in her! next time u 2 have sex try 2 incorporate what u jacked off 2 into ur forplay and sex