Married men.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by BareHug, Mar 25, 2006.

  1. BareHug

    BareHug New Member

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    Can any of the female members tell me why a woman would knowingly get involved with a married man? I would be especially interested in hearing from those women who have given it a try, although others are certainly welcome.
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I can think of two reasons, right off the top of my head.

    1. She figures a married man will not desire any commitment or lasting relationship. She may be afraid of that, or just doesn't like to stay in one place too long.

    2. She wants to think she can get "someone else's man".
     
  3. BareHug

    BareHug New Member

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    Hey Rose, I think what you say is on the money. But, those reasons would not explain why these affairs become so embittered - I'm gonna tell your wife syndrome. So I think there could be some more.

    You should ask Thorn - after all, he looks and sounds like a babe-magnet.
     
  4. blondboy

    blondboy New Member

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    This question was directed at women but I think I can provide some insight based on personal experience. It happened to me. I had a sexually unfulfilling marriage; my married lover had a sexually unfulfilling marriage. Both of us had hot pants. BINGO!!! (See my upcoming autobiography in "my journal" for all the gory details which is virtually guaranteed to captivate)
     
  5. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

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    why do you love? why do you find a person attractive? why is that person hot and seductive even tho that person's married?

    you can't chose who you like and such feelings like attraction are very strong.

    you want logic? do math.
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    I don't think the "L" word was brought up.
    Attractive - - yes
    Hot - - yes
    Seductive - - yes

    Love - - didn't see it in the thread post. Only saw "get involved"....
    There is no logic in that. It's just a 'divide and conquer' thingy.

    "Math" is a science.
    "Infidelity" is an addiction.

    Two totally different plains of 'reality'. jmho.
     
  7. AnonymousOne

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    then how do you explain subconscious pheremonal attraction? It's been suggested by several studies that part of why people find someone attractive and are drawn to them is an aphrodesiac quality to the unique hormonal cocktails a person's body makes.
     
  8. Thorn

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    Yes it can be an addiction and there is no love if if is.
     
  9. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

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    I was more hypothetical. Love doesn't always have to be spiritual or so. It can be the love for a feeling. An addiction. Some people love dramas, because they are addicted to the feeling it provides.
     
  10. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

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    well, you have a point here. EVERYTHING can be explained, or should I say almost everything. I could explain you half of the process of love (how it works 'logically'). Got some books here and other psychological and chemical references.

    but you got another point. you used "subconscious" in your text. and that is what I meant. you don't really chose on a level like you do math when you decide to get $5 apple or a $3 apple. at a certain level you can't decide consciously that you are attracted to that person and want that person. you just do. it's just there suddenly. like I walk down the street and pass by many attractive women but only one strikes me as incredibly gorgeous. she'll stay in my head for the rest of the day. while my buddies haven't even noticed her.

    now that is the initial point. there is also another level of attraction, love and desire. that is the frequency of interaction. the more often and frequently you interact with your object of affection, the more probable it will be that you get addicted or even fall in love with that person at an early stage.

    and blabla...
    my point is that woman can use all her logic to explain why she did and why it was wrong and why it was morally inadequate and that she all knew it that time already. but she'll not explain to you why she did it. she can't. she can blame it to her unloving husband, to her sex-drive, to incredible charming way the man smiled to her. she did it, because desire was there stronger then logic. so therefore it's not logical (if we take it into context of the morality of monogamous relationships).
     
  11. BareHug

    BareHug New Member

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    The "love" doesn't figure in, at least as my question intended. A women involved with a married man knows that there is a better than 50-50 chance that she will be hurt by the guy's deception and/or attachment to his family - or kids at least.

    It's like a diabetic flirting with a piece of apple pie with vanilla ice cream on top.
     
  12. hotbabe28

    hotbabe28 New Member

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    I have never been involved with a married man. I have one who likes me and it grosses me out. He is like 56 and I have known him since I was 8. To me it is if u feel strong for the person and the other person wants to get out of there marriage, then it is the two people's decion on weither to contunie there sex and games or what.

    I'm so in love with my boyfriend, if he would have been married, I would have still went to him :eek:. I was lucky that he wasn't married. Everyone is diffrent and want diffrent things. I don't condem the women who do it. I just hope when I get married it doesn't happen to me.
     
  13. Joe

    Joe
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    I suspect that a lot of women in bad relationships are looking for a connection, and they can connect better with a man who is also in a bad relationship. They have something in common. That and the two that Rose mentioned.
     
  14. Thorn

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    In Joe's example above of both parties in bad relationships, the cheating just meets a need for both. If someone is in a great relationship yet cheats then it may be an addiction. Especially if it continues with little or no gilt. If a cheating person goes after someone in another relationship just for the challenge to see if they can get that person they are low life in my opinion. Especially if they are in a good relationship.
     
  15. haolcatx

    haolcatx New Member

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    I have a woman friend who has been dating a married man for about 18 months now. I asked her why and she said she loves him. She is aware that he is not planning to divorce his wife or ever marry her but she figures this is a good deal for her given the circumstances. I am not aware of the circumstances she was referring to.
     
  16. SpanishPrisoner

    SpanishPrisoner New Member

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    see, if you are in love, you can't change the feeling. so rather then forgetting it, you trying to get the most out of it.