married men..i need your help about SEX

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by tictac, Mar 27, 2007.

  1. tictac

    tictac New Member

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    Hello everybody, I'm 25 years old and I've been married for two years now, my husband is 33 and he's the best husband in the world :responsible,funny,cooks for me,loves me and takes care of me a lot, a lot ..... but since we got married he just asked me for having sex like 4times!!! and I'm the one who is always asking for sex .
    I've talked to him and he says that he is always tired and that he's got many bills to pay and that his mind is in other things but sex and that our relationship is so important and out of this world that sex is not so important, i wonder if it's normal? might he be ill?
    he always has a reason for not having sex ...
    he's too tired , too busy, too relaxed, too hungry, too thirsty....etc etc etc.you know what i mean?? he says that it's got nothing to do with me...it's him! he says ...and although he's good in bed ... 99.9% of the time gives me orgasms ....i don't know why he is not interested in sex since we got married
    Regards from chile
    __________________
     
  2. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    Some of his reasons are weird tbh...
    You really need to talk to him about it... say that you feel like your asking for it too much or something... Sex is an important part of a relationship... How often are you having sex?
     
  3. jaguar

    jaguar New Member

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    Did you have a good sex life before you got married? With him only asking you to have sex 4 times in two years something is not right. Do you think he is cheating/playing around on you? I hate for you to think that, but one never knows. Have you changed in two years, like putting on several pounds? He could be under stress but you need to find out what his problem is, maybe consider counseling. Don't really know what to say, maybe more information would help us. Thanks
     
  4. NXPHusband

    NXPHusband New Member

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    I think its kinda natural.

    Back in college when we were dating, I'd ALWAYS be the one asking for sex like every single night.

    Now that we're married though and I have a real job and real stresses and responsibilities to deal with, I don't ask as frequently, and its just as often her as me that is asking for it.

    However, that said, unless I was seriously sick or exhausted, I'd NEVER turn down sex, especially when she is the one asking for it, lol.

    I'd just broach the subject lightly with him and mention the change you've noticed. If he doesn't respond, maybe joke around, and make it clear you're joking, that if he isn't going to take care of business down there, you might have to find a guy who will.
     
  5. cbrmale

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    You should talk to your husband about your true feelings. But you asked for advice from married men, and this married man (20 years) has the most wonderful sex life, at least four times a week. For me, the best time is in the mornings, often before we get up to go to work. We are both morning people, so it suits us to start the day with love.

    Sex is part of love, and love is part of sex. Sex makes love stronger, and love makes you want to have sex with the person you love. It's like magic: the more sex you have, the more you love your partner. The more you love your partner, the more sex you want to have with them. True love and good sex is like a continual spiral that finds it's own energy.

    Love your partner and show him how much you love him, and the sex should come. If not, something is wrong.
     
  6. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    Cbrmale is correct as usual.

    Morning is the best time for sex, it's the time when he's least stressed and if he's young he should be ready. Make sure you wake up with plenty of time to arouse him and get the job done before it's time to rush off to work.
    My favourite was waking up to find my cock being sucked, but a nice cuddle and fondle should do the trick.

    You'll soon find out if the problem lies deeper than he says if you try this out.
     
  7. indagroove

    indagroove New Member

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    I agree that it probably is not you, but I do not know how you two interact outside of the bedroom. I suspect some other underlaying problem. Do not take this the wrong way, but do you nag him? Nagging (mothering ) is the number 1 sex killer in a relationship. Not too many guys want to sleep with Mom. The other thing I have to say, I hate to even say it, but you did ask... He could be gay. he wouldn't be the first. But on the other hand, he might have had a tramatic assualt as a child that he cannot get past.


    Because I relate to these excuses as

    too tired.... Never .....I have come home from construction work, diggin trenches, hoisting lumber, climbing ladders and scafolding, to get home and have to crawl up the stairs using my hands and feet, but the sight of my wife, the mere suggestion that she needed serviced, the strength would come back over me very quickly. But she has a way of dressing and wiggling her ass that cannot be ignored.



    too busy..... Priorities are fucked up

    too relaxed.... bullshit

    too hungry..... eat the pie !

    too thirsty.... get a glass of water

    I have to say, my wife is the same way, and has never had an excuse. I have even found out after I roughed her up poundung away, (I am not a small dude) that she had a back ache, and headache. but ahe would never have tolded me before hand. I tell her that she should have, but she replies that she wanted layed too !

    There is no excuse. A valid reason maybe, but no excuse.

    You will need to talk to him and try to find why.
     
  8. tictac

    tictac New Member

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    thanks

    First of all , my husband is a singer and he works at nights and he says that this kind of work gets him exhausted since he deals with the public and stuff.....and that i should understand him.
    sometimes we're lying in the bed watching tv and i started touching him, kissing him and sucking his cock ,he says; oh! come on! don't you see I'm watching tv or listening to music, thinking about work, thinking about my family who live abroad and don't care about him...whatever!! etc!!...he says :it's not the right time![MAD][/MAD]so, i tried having sex with him when we are in the kitchen,in the yard, in the garden, in the shower ...looking for the best moment!!
    we even watch porn together and he never turns on!

    the strange thing is that when we were boyfriend and girlfriend he was sooooo crazy about sex...always asking for sex , we fucked almost everyday.
    well,i consider myself as a hot young girl, when i walk in the street everybody look at me and I'm slim, so i don't think is a problem of weight.
     
  9. tictac

    tictac New Member

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    thanks

    First of all , my husband is a singer and he works at nights and he says that this kind of work gets him exhausted since he deals with the public and stuff.....and that i should understand him.
    sometimes we're lying in the bed watching tv and i started touching him, kissing him and sucking his cock ,he says; oh! come on! don't you see I'm watching tv or listening to music, thinking about work, thinking about my family who live abroad and don't care about him...whatever!! etc!!...he says :it's not the right time![MAD][/MAD]so, i tried having sex with him when we are in the kitchen,in the yard, in the garden, in the shower ...looking for the best moment!!
    we even watch porn together and he never turns on!

    the strange thing is that when we were boyfriend and girlfriend he was sooooo crazy about sex...always asking for sex , we fucked almost everyday.
    well,i consider myself as a hot young girl, when i walk in the street everybody look at me and I'm slim, so i don't think is a problem of weight.
     
  10. tictac

    tictac New Member

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    more info..would you mind...?

    well, we get on very well...but i must confess that i nag him sometimes, I'm always saying ...stop working ... just relax..sit next to me...I'll give you a massage....I'll make a tea for you!!! or let's go for a walk ...always asking to do relaxing things...like going to the sauna....and you're probably right when you say that he might have had a traumatic assault as a child that he cannot get past... I'll ask!!:eyes

    he also says that he tends to get bored of things and he doesn't want to be bored of sex that's why he doesn't want to do it very often!!:ugh
    i also suggested toys!! but he says that we'll need that when we're older and bored of sex!!!:uhh:
     
  11. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    Tictac,
    Nagging is something to be avoided. The best way to communicate a desire to a partner is to make it non-confrontational and use the I word. For example: "I am worried that you look stressed, I would like you to sit beside me so I can give you a massage to relax you." or something along these lines. Same message, different delivery.

    The other thing I can offer is that LOVE that drags us into a relationship, and then there is a settling in period. This period is when you have to get used to living as a couple, and still retain a degree of independance as a person. All couples go through this period, and it happens after a year or two. It is best not to be too picky, because you will find equilibrium. Eventually some of the things he does won't worry you anymore, because you will realise that is the way he is. And some of the things you do won't worry him anymore because he realises that is the way you are too.

    Keep both of these things in mind, because the health of your sex life depends on the health of your relationship, and it is up to both of you to keep working at your relationship and to make it as strong and as loving as possible.

    As for bored in sex, well I reckon my wife and I have had sex more than 4,000 times. But read my comment above about how sex makes love stronger! Yes you can only have so many positions, and we do have special treats (sex outdoors, a little BDSM, playing truth or dare) from time to time. But really, the sex my wife and I have is all sharing love with each other. Perhaps you can talk to your husband along these lines.
     
  12. Elvis

    Elvis Member

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    There are those who believe that a marriage certificate ruined their sex life.
     
  13. SexyScorp

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    """But really, the sex my wife and I have is all sharing love with each other. Perhaps you can talk to your husband along these lines""".

    Sharing love.....aaaahhh if only more men could be this open about their feelings....

    thanks cbrmale..you help restore my "faith"

    :)
     
  14. cbrmale

    Gold Member

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    I worked out the love and sex linkage quite some time ago. Many years ago I had a low-level auto-immune disease that seemed determined to ruin my health - I had this disease running in my body for several years without doing too much long-term damage to me. All the time the disease was active I was sick, I had an illness in me that just didn't go away. I was tired, lethargic, going to work each day and living a normal life. Now this illness should have ruined my sex drive, but we still kept on having sex three or four times a week. Of course I had no sex drive, but it didn't stop me because sex was pleasurable, and sex was love! So while I wasn't horny like I get now, I couldn't wait until the next time I had my wife naked in my arms.

    Later when I got better and I had normal energy back, I talked about this with my wife. She said it was the same for her when we had young children. At that time she was sometimes tired and it certainly affected her sex drive, but it never stopped her. She wanted to have sex with me to share her love with me!

    To some extent, when we suffer we become better people. The simple linkage of love and sex is so obvious, and yet it takes something special to unearth it and show us what sex is really about in a loving relationship.