Married and shy in the bedroom

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by ChrisFromUK, Jul 11, 2012.

  1. ChrisFromUK

    ChrisFromUK New Member

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    I have been married for seven years this year and our sex life has always been very straight forward. A bit of oral to start, then straight sex and that's it. I am desperate to try new things but I am really not sure how my wife would take it.

    She very rarely gives me oral sex, only when she is drunk so the thought of asking her for anal or anything else away from the norm scares me. I really want to take our sex life to a whole new level so would appreciate any advice with regards to taking the initiative and bringing her out of her shell. I am willing to try anything.

    Thanks
    Chris
     
  2. pbs

    pbs
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    In my experience, the very first thing she has to do is to trust you unconditionally, and you have to earn that trust, and patience is the key. Her clit is most likely the key to her sexual pleasure, so learn how to kiss it, lick it, and how to give her heart pounding orgasms. Once she knows you are attentive to her pleasure she will be more willing to be attentive to yours. Communicate with her and tell her your desires, and work on making her experiences in bed as good as yours by learning her body language and responding to it.

    Most of us guys here accept that the women are pretty much in control of the sex life in a marriage, and it's knowing this, and working within that framework that you will be able to open her up to new ideas about sexuality and intimacy.
     
    #2 pbs, Jul 11, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2012
  3. itgirl

    itgirl New Member

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    Communication is the best key especially in sex life of couples.
     
  4. imisscali

    imisscali New Member

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    My husband and I have been together for 9 years and married for 2. Our sex life now is completely different than it was before. Before we decided to live together and the birth of our son, sex was so spontaneous and no surface was off limits. Now our sex life is a little routine, where we wait until our son is in bed, it's night (sometimes we'll have the occasional daytime sex), and we start off with a little kissing, undressing each other, touching and then straight into sex (usually 2 or 3 positions).

    Until recently I was embarrassed to mention to my husband that I wanted to spice things up because I didn't know how he would react. I then read the Fifty Shades triology which is about BDSM and while reading it, I would mention some of the things they did in the book to my husband and would casually say, "This sounds like something fun to try." And we are now a little more open to try new things to spice up our sex life.

    I'm not saying to go out and buy the books or anything, but maybe one day/night just browse amazon and ask her what she thinks of something (whether it be a toy, sex sling, or even lubricant) or just flat out have a conversation with her about how she feels your sex life is. Communication is key, and even though I feel embarrassed by talking about some things with my husband, I just suck it up and do it. Let her know that if she doesn't like something, you can try something else, but you want her to feel comfortable and there is nothing wrong with finding different ways to have more fun with sex. Good luck and hope this helps. :)
     
  5. pawg69lover

    pawg69lover New Member

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    Just have a frank & honest conversation with her about what you want to try and maybe start out with some milder items in the bedroom like handcuffs or toys and move on from there...