Marriage

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bella, Apr 29, 2007.

  1. Bella

    Gold Member

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    Marriage (Part I )

    Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady,
    and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

    "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want
    -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.

    I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless

    I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.

    I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing

    when I want with my old buddies, and don't you

    give me a hard time about it.

    Those are my rules. Any comments?"

    His new bride said:

    "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will
    be sex here at seven o'clock every night...
    whether you're here or not."

    (DARN SHE'S GOOD!)

    ************************************************

    Marriage (Part II)


    Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their
    40th wedding anniversary!

    The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a
    headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -- Cold As Ever'!"

    "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a
    headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Husband -- Stiff At Last'!"

    (HE ASKED FOR IT!)


    ************************************************

    Marriage (Part III)

    Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
    breakfast table.

    Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in
    bed either," and storms out of the house.

    After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to
    make amends and rings her up.

    She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated
    husband says, "What took you so long to answer to the phone?"

    She says, "I was in bed."
    "In bed this early, doing what?"
    "Getting a second opinion!"

    (YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)

    ************************************************

    Marriage (Part IV)

    A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.

    He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his
    wife," Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.


    One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it is
    time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready
    to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice,
    "Shall we go home Mother of Six?";

    His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion,
    shouts right back, "Any time you're ready, Father of Four."


    (RIGHT ON, LADY!)

    ************************************************

    THE SILENT TREATMENT

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home

    and were giving each other the silent treatment.

    Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need
    his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning
    business flight.

    Not wanting to b e the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
    he wrote on a piece of paper,"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
    He left it where he knew she would find it.

    The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it
    was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
    Furious, he was about to go to see why his wife hadn't
    wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
    The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

    Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

    ************************************************

    God may have created man before woman, but there

    is always a rough draft before the masterpiece!
    :rofl
    ~Bella
     
  2. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Salute to the females , great minds ...loved all of those Bella
    just goes to show in a way that being the "MAN" doesnt always work out with the females as well as you would like it to.

    But made me laugh hard hehehe.
     
  3. Bella

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    Thank you Kronnie! :)
    ~Bella
     
  4. spooky_chicken

    spooky_chicken New Member

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    :lol And once again Bella manages to bring a smile to my face. Thanks for the laugh.
     
  5. Bella

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    You're welcome spooky! :)
    ~Bella
     
  6. johnnyangel694u

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    :rofl

    That was good. I needed a good laugh today.:lol
     
  7. Bella

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    Thank you johnny! :)
    ~Bella
     
  8. emerlyj

    emerlyj New Member

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    :lol Hilarious as always Bella!
     
  9. Bella

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    Thank you emerlyj! :)
    ~Bella
     
  10. Ryan

    Ryan Gold Member

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    Those are some nice ones. :)
     
  11. Bella

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    Thank you Ryan! :)
    ~Bella