Marriage sucks!

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Starry Wisdom, Jul 14, 2004.

  1. Starry Wisdom

    Starry Wisdom New Member

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    I'm new to this forum, so I don't know whether or not topics similar to this one are posted here regularly (if they are, ask yourself why?), but I have to get this off my chest right off the bat...not only for my own sake, but also to possibly save other guys from a life of horseshit.

    If you enjoy using your penis for anything other than urination, DON'T get married!!! All the while I was dating my girlfriend, guys left and right told me time and time again not to allow myself to get sucked into the dismal vortex of anguish and frustration that is marriage, but did I listen? I'm sure you've guessed the answer to that one already...

    But those guys were all morons; they just didn't understand. My girlfriend was different. My girlfriend was so sweet and pretty and thoughtful and considerate. My girlfriend always put our relationship first. My girlfriend was not only my lover, but also my best friend. My girlfriend would never dream of denying me something that she could easily give to me, especially that which nature has caused me to desire so intensely. My girlfriend...

    Come to think of it, I was right. My girlfriend was all of those things to me and more...unfortunately, though, I failed to consider the fact that my girlfriend wouldn't be my girlfriend any more once I married her. She would be my wife. I had no idea that the wedding band I so gently and lovingly placed upon her finger would somehow strangle every last shred of compassion and decency right out of her. Before, I was the first thing she thought of when she got up in the morning and the last thing she thought of before she went to bed at night. Now, I'm lucky if the thought of me ranks somewhere up there with the dirty laundry.

    As you can tell, I'm too brain-dead from years of mental and emotional torture to even make a decent post about this, but I have to get the message out. Don't be stupid...if practically every guy you talk to tells you that marriage is a sham, there's probably a reason for it. Is marriage really a sham, or do you just happen to have the misfortune of running solely into the "few" men on Earth who happen not to like it?

    You decide, but do it with the right head...

    :yell <--- typical wife
     
  2. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    It sounds like you've been married since the day the fires in hell first lit. How long have you been married, and are there kids involved?

    I assume you've made her somewhat aware of how you feel, and she just doesn't care? I feel bad for you in every way possible. My girlfriend was the same way as yours, and she's the same way now that she's my wife. I've only been married 10 months, but our relationship is much the same as it was before we married, the biggest difference is that we don't have to pretend that we don't live together.

    The only suggestion I can make is to first talk to her, if you haven't already, and if that didn't work, see if you can talk her into going to counseling.
     
  3. Logger

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    Dear Wisdom, Frank, and All Other Frustrated Spouses,

    The wedding ring does change the picture, doesn't it?

    The sexual drive of the man is generally greater than the drive of the woman, and there are a number of married men who are frustrated. But there are differences in drives for spouses, regardless of gender.

    People get married with the idea that, after marriage, they will be able to make love whenever they deisre. The only problem is, that different people desire sex at different times, and different frequencies. The marriage ring does not dissolve those differences.

    My wife is in the mood most every day. The only problem is, that she is in the mood for about a 15 minute period, at a certain stage as she is going to sleep. My wife may take a nap early in the evening, or may go to sleep somewhere between 10 pm and 2 AM. My wife does not tell me about the start of the 15 miniute time period, until the next day, that I missed it.

    I personally like to have sex in the morning, as it helps me to have a mind clear of horny thoughts.

    Your post brings up several good points. If someone is getting married for increased intercourse, diappointment is likely. But instead of describing the problem as that marriage is a bad idea, I suggest we have a challenge in seduction of W. I have visited other boards, but this is the best board I have found for your dilemna. I sometimes feel that my wife should be an eager partner in sex. That approaching my wife after she falls asleep is immoral. Having my way with W, just because she trusts me enough to sleep in my bed, is wrong. Malarky! I agree the ideal is full particpation from W, but I take the closest I can get, which is often not that close. If W says no, I back off, for a short time. But without a clear rejection, I just try to tenderly inch forward, through foreplay.

    I am older, and been married a good while. You might be younger and less patient. I try to work on my foreplay techniques. If I missed my wife's optimal vountary mood time, I start working on foreplay. How are your massage techniques? What massage videos do you have? Have you read all the posts on the Foreplay Section?

    I received a phone call today that the massage Trigger Wheel that I ordered has come in. This is a two inch diameter wheel, 1/4 Inch wide, on a 7 Inch handle. What is your experience with penetration of her muscles in the alluvial canal? The muscles groups on each side of the back bone. I don't like to put a lot of effort into massage. What back muscle vibrating massagers do you own? Which one does W like best?

    How many bottles of baby oil do you keep in stock? What other lubricants do you have? What are your starting points? When you get pushed away, ho long do find you have to wait to get a new start? I can back off for only 3 minutes, and I get a new start with my wife. I like Alobolene, bcause I can clean my wife's vagina whle she is in bead, by apply a slathering, wiping the excess off, then re-slathering. The librication makes a vulva massage more enjoyable for her, and when I go to oral, the Albolene is edible, and has no real taste. I have not seen a good review of the Tantric Vulva Massage Tape. Please buyit, watch it, and report the secrets back here. Find the tape, some $40.00, by searching hte web.

    Did you ever hear of Dry Love? That is where yo squirt a bunch of lubricants on a woman, and rub your privates all over her, wtihout actual insertion, until you find a nice groove and squirt.

    What are your starting points in forplay? I seldom get rejected when I start at the pubic mound. I can hold one my wife's breasts for a minute or so, any time. I seldom get rejcted from suckling my wife's nipples.

    What music works for W? What TV images get her going? What scents does she enjoy? What incense of scented candles do you use? What mirrors do you have in the bedroom? Some women on this board report getting off on images of their H in the mirror.

    If your wife is not in the mood for insertion, have you tried mutual masturbation? What time of the day or night do you like to approach W? Does W sleep in your bed every night?

    Welcome to MB

    As far as I know, vents are OK under Marriage, Dating and Break UPs.

    What I think is ironical, is that after these Wives have frustrated their husbands, with headaches, they get on the marriagebuilders. com board, and complain that their husbands are not faithful to them The husbands fall lin love with other women. Of course, as you point out, after a husband falls in love with another woman, and divorces his first wife, then marries OW, then he is back to being married to a woman with a wedding ring, and he is short on love again.

    Keep venting till you get it worked out.

    Blessings
     
    #3 Logger, Jul 14, 2004
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2004
  4. Starry Wisdom

    Starry Wisdom New Member

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    To all (or both) who responded so far, thanks for your concern and advice. To answer some questions...I've been married for 6 years, dated my wife (well, the woman who's now my wife) for 7 years before that, and have done everything in my power to make things better between she and I. You know how it's usually the wife who's open for discussion while her husband hates talking about marital problems? Well, in my case, it's the exact opposite. I've literally talked to her for hours on end (several hundred times) about our problems and would be filthy rich if I had a penny for every time I suggested counseling, but I get nowhere every time. All she ever says is, "...that's just the way I am, I can't help it, and going to a counselor won't change anything." Mind you, my wife is a medical professional.

    The most mind-boggling thing about the whole nightmarish relationship is that she just seems to shrug her shoulders like it's no big deal and expect me to live the rest of my life having sex maybe once every 6 months (no, I'm not exaggerating...and that's when I'm lucky).

    Isn't marriage supposed to be an equal partnership? I mean, if I want sex every day and she only wants it once every 6 months, shouldn't we compromise and have sex once every couple of weeks or so at least? Well, needless to say, she's unwilling to give an inch. She doesn't want it, so we don't have it...and to hell with whatever I want. As long as I mow the grass and take out the garbage and do everything else that sucks about married life, she's quite content.

    Not to sound like I'm all over the road, but here's an interesting little story...a few years back (after we'd already been having this problem for quite some time), we separated. We still talked on the phone almost every day, but we didn't see each other for a while. Well, about a week into our separation, she started telling me how much she missed me. Not long after, she started telling me how much she wanted to have sex with me. It got to the point where our every conversation was like phone sex, and she started telling me to just come over and have sex with her, then I could leave if I wanted. I was lonely, too, so I took her up on it. After a few wild encounters, I was ignorant enough to believe that she'd changed, so we started talking about getting back together again. I told her that I'd only do it if she promised that things would never get back to the way they were. She promised, and I asked her how she could really promise me something like that. She said that, even when she wasn't initially in the mood for sex, she usually got into it when she made herself start to mess around, so she'd just make herself do it for me once in a while. So, we got back together and everything was great...for about 2 weeks. When I ask her now when she's ever going to begin fulfilling the promise she made, she says that she doesn't even remember making a promise. Great...back to square one. It's sad to have to say this, but, logically, the only thing I can figure out is that she's trying to torture me to death by pulling shit like this and giving me a heart attack.

    Anyway, there are other details, but I don't have much more time to write about it right now. I would like a woman's point of view about the whole thing, though. I'll try to write more later.

    Thanks again!
     
  5. Logger

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    Dear Wisdom,

    Yes. There are people who subconsciously have a drive to make others nuts. Its called ODD, Oppostional Defiant Disorder. Supposedly ends in adolescence but carries over for many, as adults. I myself am a fairly oppositional person, but that does not make it any easier for me to get along with my Wife is also oppositional, or our college age son who is ADHD/ODD.

    Some of the Do's and Dont's defy logic. If you wish to understand ODD, James D Sutton, http://www.docspeak.com. I have his two CD set, WHAT PARENTS SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ODD. Essentially you have a grown child on your hands.

    But I suggest The Love Diet chapter of WHAT WOMEN WANT MEN TO KNOW.


    MB Thread on The Love Diet

    The Love Diet Chapter of WHAT WOMEN WANT MEN TO KNOW by Barbara DeAngelis

    The thing about arrousing a woman is that she can build up arrousal over a few days, where as men, at least for me, arrousal only counts in the last hour or so. My wife picked up our relationship when I made sure I called her with sweet nothings, if I hadn't seen her for a few hours.

    But you have not disclosed the sequence of the details. I lie down in bed with my wife, and I start touching her. I start massaging her back and leg muscles. I agree that it takes more time and energy than I want to spend, and sometimes I fall asleep before I get any thing. But sometimes, I am horny, and I keep going till something happens.

    With oppostional people, telling them what you want, just gives them a roadmap to get an emotional response from you. Most normal people are looking for a response of appreciation from others. Oppositional people, are looking for other signals of emotional involvement. Chaos, irritation, frustration.

    I have gone to counseling, and invited my wife, but explained to the therapist that my wife might not show up. Some thrapists don't like that, but Some understand, and that is probably a better therapist anyway. You could have a goals for individual counseling of handling the oppositional nature of your wife. It would be cheaper to read and listen to Sutton. He has returned answers to two E-mails I have sent him.

    One challenge I have been working on is the Make-wrong or undercutting activities of Oppositional People. Arguing, fuels their oppositional behavior. The underlying motivation is a need to make you wrong, is to make themselves feel superior. The cause of the motivation to try to feel superior, is a feeling of inferiority. The solution is finding ways to boost the ego of the oppositional person, rather than arguing with them. The Love Diet will get you started boosting her ego.

    Of course I can't be sure that your W is Oppositional. But try the rules for oppositional people, and see if you get better results.

    Just as an aside, I am all for Gay rights. But I think that Gay people are going to be disappointed, after wrking to legalize Gay Unions, when they find out that marriage is really not close to what is is made out to be in fairy tale stories.

    Blessings
     
    #5 Logger, Jul 14, 2004
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2004
  6. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    Mr. Wisdom-

    I don't know exactly what it is that I would do in your position. Cheating, possibly, but I don't think I could do that even in that extreme position. I (and I'm not suggesting you do this, but I think it's the avenue I would take) would probably separate again. Sex is not everything in a marriage or a relationship, but it is a very important part of a healthy one.

    I wish you luck in whatever you decide.
     
  7. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Wisdom, Frank and others under-served,

    Here is the Marriage Builders 10 Emotional Needs. You should try to do a good job at 2 to 4 of these categories, to maintain a marriage.


    MB Emotional Needs:

    Affection
    Sexual Fulfillment
    Conversation
    Recreational Companionship
    Honesty and Openness
    Physical Attractiveness
    Financial Support
    Domestic Support
    Family Commitment
    Admiration


    Compatibiliby Test:

    Couple Compatability Test

    Drucilla Thread
    Drucilla Thread on Eanneagram Copmpatiablity test


    MARITAL BEDROOM:

    "101 Nights of Great Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples"

    Board Game: Enchanted Evening

    Various Opinions on Erotic Videos


    MARRIAGE BOOKS

    'How to stubbornly refuse to make yourself miserable about anything, yes anything' by Albert Ellis, he talks about people who 'awfulize' things.

    ODD

    You can spend some $1000 nor $1500 getting testing for ODD.

    But it sounds like you already know that you have to make some changes in your approaches.

    I have found Dr, Sutton's approaches helpful. The basic goals of an Oppostional person is consternation or chaos in others around him. Sutton suggests a Target goal for those delaing with ODD, is to keep their sanity, and try to be helpful to the Individual. Whether an opportional person is technically ODD or not, you need to find ways to avoid becoming frustrated yourself. See if you find success with any of the aproaches suggested.

    This is a helpful workbook and two CD's. Very Helpful.


    Dr. James Sutton www.docspeak.com
    What Parents Need to Know About ODD, 2003.

    An Audio Workbook Program
    Friendly Oaks Publications
    P.O. Box 662
    Pleasanton TX 78064-0662
    830-569-3586

    Basically manage expectations, avoid Toxic Expectations, meaning expectations set too high, or too soon. Make requests in a friendly, cordial manner. Plan ahead, frontload. Work around and avoid upcoming conflicts and problems. Don't backload, which is criticizing or talking about the past or spilt milk. Realize that the oppositional person's goal is your frustration or consternation, and avoid feeding into the cycle.

    What are your goals in bed? What are teh various paths up the mountain? What events cause yhou to stop a particular ascent toward the goal? I get my wife' pants off as one of my first goals.

    MAKE WRONG ANSWER TRAPS:


    MAKE-WRONG ODD

    My ODD, Make-Wrong boss told me this morning that I did not know the cause of an important problem at work.

    Was the right approach to explain the I did understand?

    How about that it was not important for me to understand?

    How about that I know, but was not going to tell him till I was more certain?

    The best answer I thought of was to ignore the issue he raised, and look for ways to boost my boss's ego, so that he would get off his make-wrong kick.

    ANSWER: "I actually don't need to know the cause of the problem because I have a boss that knows practically everything about everything, so if I get in a jam, my boss will let me know what I need to know to solve the problem."

    Another Ego Booster Answer: Well we have a few talented and wise people in the organization (Meaning my boss) which really makes it unneccessary for me to need to be very intelligent.

    Ideas for better answers to boost an Ego, and sidestep the invitation for an argument?

    At the time, I was just silent, and left at an early opportunity. I knew not to bite into an arguement, but I did not have an ego-boosting phrase ready.


    WISDOM

    You mention that your wife is a health proffesional. There is at least one other part of feeling inferior, which leads to needing Ego Boosts from others. What is causing the inferior feelings? Some medical jobs are stressful and require encouters with Doctors and Supervisors whose Tact and Social Skill training are not job evaluation criterea. What is W's work environment like? If W's work environment is part of why she feels inverior, are there other job opportunities you could encourage for her?

    FRANK

    It may be helpful to our readers if you give a few more details of your challenges in this thread. I believe I have posted to you before, but your difficulties do not come freshly to mind.

    Blessings
     
  8. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    Logger-

    I guess I'm not sure where you got the impression that I had marital problems. I'm very happily married, and very fulfilled sexually. I have just been trying to offer perspectives to Wisdom, not actually complaining about my marriage.

    Thanks for your concern, however.
     
  9. Starry Wisdom

    Starry Wisdom New Member

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    Thanks, Frank, for the advice and concern, and thanks to Logger for the resources and whatnot.

    Frank, there are a few reasons why I really don't want to separate again. For one, we have kids (and most of their friends' parents are divorced), so I don't want to put them through something like that. I know, I know...they say you shouldn't stay together for the sake of the kids, but, in my case at least, I'm doing it for them and for myself, because I can't imagine living without them. Another reason is because I still love my wife...or at least the woman she used to be. Though I may sound pathetic, I'm willing to stick around as long as the potential is there for her to become that woman once again. Yet another reason is because my wife is wonderful in every other aspect of life (excluding sex, of course). She's a great mother, an excellent worker, and even a good companion with whom to do non-sexual things (hip-hip-hurray). Finally, whereas I worked while she went to college, the tables have now turned. In other words, I'd be financially screwed if I left her, and I could just flush my college career down the toilet.

    Logger, sexual techniques and advice from books and/or web sites are completely useless when dealing with my wife, because she's totally unwilling to even admit that there's a serious problem with our relationship, let alone actually look into and do anything to fix it. Every single time I've ever suggested that we try something different (during the past few years), she shuns whatever I have to say and treats me like I'm some kind of pervert...and I don't make bizarre or extreme requests of her at all. In short, she seems like a lost cause, but I haven't given up yet.
     
  10. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Wisdom,

    I am suggesting that you can find approaches that will work.

    I have personally been put off by certain types of rejections by my wife. Looking back, I should have just re-approached more quickly than I did. Also, I sometimes take offense to certain types of rejections, and then get oppositional myself.

    My wife calls me a pervert, or words to the effect sometimes. I have confidence that my drives and interests are not so far off that I should feel ashamed or should seek counseling. I keep a journal at work of things that work and things that don't work, and when they don't work.

    Seduction is a matter of sequence. Some things will feel good at different stages for a woman. You have to get things going on the low level, before you can get things to a medium level, so that W will tolerate or enjoy the high level activities.

    It seems you could share some of the low level activites, and what you might expect to work at a low level, but actually usually has to be delayed untill higher stages of arrousal.

    You seem to be expecting your wife to intellectually endorse the idea of sex when she is not arroused. Having her read books, etc. I suggest you find ways to change your approach to her.

    One of the Marriage Builders needs is Admiration. What are you doing to meet W's needs for admirtion? What habits do you have that reflect your admiration?

    My wife does not talk about sex, hardly at all. I found out more about what she likes by reading Sex and Astrology Books. What is your wife's sun and moon sign? You can look this up with her birth date and time of birth, usually on the birth certificate. What does astrology say about the type of sex your wife likes? My wife is a Scorpio with a Moon in Aires. Astrology indicates that she likes lots of lubrications and to have her buttocks muscles massaged during sex. That has worked for me. What information does Astrology have to offer you about your W?

    If you are rubbing her legs and she calls you a pervert, stop for 3 minutes, maybe 7 minutes, lie down, take your hands off her, or smoke a cigarette, and then start massaging her neck. I got my Trigger Roller, $32.00, yesterday and it made massage easy this morning. Don't worry that she calls you a pervert. Just take it as an ordinary rejection. Wait for a few minutes, then start back up an a basic level of arrousal.

    I am working on increasing my display of admiration for my wife. I think that if I display more admiration for my wife, boost her ego, she will be more willing to go along with my ideas. Tell me what you do to boost your wife's ego. Telling her she needs counseling does not seem to me to be an upper. What pressures are you under, that might make boosing your W's ego a challenge?

    How does masturbation fit into the picture? I will stage in some self-masturbation after some massage, and then get into a pubic mound massage, or sucking my wife's breasts. How much massage do you have to do before you can get your wife to let you suck her nipples? How long do you have to suck her nipples before you can get her legs spread so you can do a good vulva massage?

    Don't be intimidated by the word pervert. Don't argue with her that you are not a pervert. Just wait a few minutes, and take another approach. "Oh, You PERVERT!" can be said with the intonation of Love and Amazement and gushing emotion and cum juice. A husband is SUPPOSED to be his wife's pervert. "Yes Honey, I'm your personal pervert, ready for most anything. Just give me a signal for what you are ready."

    Realize that each stage builds up for the next stage, and each period of time and energy you give, builds up over several days. Put deposits in the Love Bank. Your Dividends will come.

    Blessings
     
  11. Frank Grimes

    Frank Grimes New Member

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    One other thing that may help (eventually) is that I have heard they are making lots of progress with a drug for the female libido. Don't know exactly how true that is, but I wouldn't be surprised in the least if they do develop something in the next 5 years or so.

    Sadly, that doesn't help you diddly squat right now.
     
  12. blade

    blade New Member

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    aaawww i think its sad that ur marriage isnt goin as well as u planned it to be...but truth b told marriage is hard there's no easy way out of it...it's partnership, therefore if ur not happy wit da sex ( or other probs) then u should tell her...not complain/blame or yell but actually put ur foot down and tell what u feel is happenin ( i bet she dont kno how u really feel)...then u gotta understand maby she's tired..from work..home...stressed so try to do somethingto relax her. N e way i think u just need to be open...not just quit already-- ur still young and can make it.
     
  13. blade

    blade New Member

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    wwwooowww...u r so deep and wisdom does come wit age i wish i was 40 yrs older....
     
  14. Yowsa

    Yowsa New Member

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    I think the answer is simple. Tell her this is not acceptable. Tell her you aren't going to leave, but if she won't give it up a couple of times a week you are going to be forced to go outside the marraige for it. Plain and simple. How long are you going to live miserable? You only live once and it is too short for this shit. just my .02
     
  15. Logger

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    Dear Wisdom,

    Frank Grimes is correct that chemical compounds can arouse a woman to be more receptive to sexual advances.

    Furtunately most women have the capacity to produce chemicals to increase libido themselves, naturally. Massage works in about 90% of women, to release chemicals that assist in sexual arrousal. Sucking nipples creates chemical release for nearly all women, to one degree or another. I was surprised, but I believe, at least for my wife, rubbing her pubic mound releases feel-good chemicals into the bloodstream. What works for you wife?

    I always back off immediately whenever my wife raies an objection. But if she is still in the bed, after a few minutes, there is a new game on.

    Have you ever had a deep muscle, Rolfing massage? I have been intending to get one, to see how it is done. Takes two years of massage and Rolfing School. My Trigger Wheel seems to be a good shortcut for me, for releasing the right chemicals for my wife.

    Post more details of the sequence of rejections, to the extent you feel open about it. What are you doing for birth control? How many more children does your wife wish to have? My sex life picked up after I got a vascectomy after 2 children.

    Yowsa suggests a power play. Certainly power plays out in a marriage. Tough Love often involves power plays. Here is a reference on Tough Love:Love Must Be Tough, by Dr. James C. Dobson, Tyndale House, 1996


    Blessings
     
    #15 Logger, Jul 16, 2004
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2004
  16. hotlady

    hotlady New Member

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    Logger says

    The sexual drive of the man is generally greater than the drive of the woman, and there are a number of married men who are frustrated. But there are differences in drives for spouses, regardless of gender.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Hey Logger,

    Just to let you know, my sexual drive is a lot greater than my new husband's. He has no problem and we have fun all the time with new ideas to keep the spark there. :brow

    Yes, I screwed up bigtime when i cheated on my ex-husband, but that was my mistake not his. Is wasn't about our sex life either. It was about me being young (he was 10 years older than me) and stupid. I married him when I was 16 and him being 26 just because we wanted to (plus everyone was telling us not to). We had 3 children and divorced 16 years later. When we went before the judge (with no lawyers), he said he wasn't sure if he should grant it because we wre not fighting. We have been divorced for now for 4 years and the odd thing about it is, I have a huge 4 bedroom home with an in-law apartment that he lives in. The kids live with me in my house and they see him and sleep-over at his apartment all the time. The best thing is for my kids, because they see that mom & dad are divorced and are still friendly with each other. We are the best of friends now. My new husband, yes thought it was very weird but, thinks it is the best situation for all. The judge <joking> said that we were going to have to come back to show other couples how to go through a "proper" divorce with no fighting.

    Your question on the "Abortion" Thread of what plans do I have for my children after they graduate? Whatever their hearts desire. I have 2 of them saying that they want to go in the service like their father and the other 1 wanting to be a fire man. I told them that whatever they choose to do in life, just make sure it's not illegal, and to be safe and have fun. Life's too short.

    *Peace*
    Hotlady
     
  17. wants_intimacy

    wants_intimacy New Member

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    Marriage sucks, and I want divorced, never every again :tard
     
  18. touchzing

    touchzing New Member

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    Never marry for sex!!! Or expect sex after you get married. I wish I had something positive to say on the subject but ---- I don't.
     
  19. wants_intimacy

    wants_intimacy New Member

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    What messes me up is we had a fairly good relationship b4 we got married and now after 1 1/2 years we hate each other. We still have sex but it's no where near what it used too be, Sometime after we are done, we are yelling each other all over again WTF? :yell

    I cant see how we can go on like this, I'm totally lost here and desperately looking for a way to get out. :uhh: Tried the counseling thing and we just used what they told us to do against each other. I think we are changing and we don't like each other any more. :(

    We both are not happy and haven't been 2 weeks after we where married, so I'm so lost and she don't give a damn. She just thinks everything will workout all in time. BULLSHIT. :bang

    Oh and we dated for 6 years b4 getting married and lived together for 5 of them. ???
     
  20. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Wants Intimacy,

    Your description of your conflicts does not indicate that you have read the marriagebuilders. com concepts.

    There are 10 emotional needs, of which two or three are important, different ones for different partners.

    There is a Love Bank, into which emotional deposits are made. Withdrawals occur with Love Busters, such as yelling at your partner. Theoretically, you should be able to discipline yourself, so that you, yourself, committ no Love Busters, and make no Love Withdrawals from your partner, Love Bank Account.

    Have you read the Love Diet section of the book, WHAT WOMEN WANT MEN TO KNOW ABOUT THEM?



    MB Thread on The Love Diet

    The Love Diet Chapter of WHAT WOMEN WANT MEN TO KNOW by Barbara DeAngelis Tehr is a Working Link in My Post #5, on this thread.


    Blessings