i need to know if i maybe fucked up something recently. this is kinda long but i'll really appreciate any responses I get. here's the scene: him: pretty heavy into BSDM, knows what he likes and wants. a switch. very responsive, has been fun to experiment on. me: just getting into the BDSM scene. have read a lot, but definitely not totally sure wtf to do when I'm in the dom position. I hadn't even ever spanked anyone until just this recent session. however, i do know I'm a switch -- just not that experienced at either. so... he was feeling sub, and I tried to run with it but don't think I got very far. I'd whipped him (with his belt, which was a big surprise to me 'sice I've been scared that I'd do it wrong.. but then all of a sudden the belt was just in my hand), given him my usual rediculous oral, and was ready for a little treat myself... but everything I've read about being in the dom position says that you're supposed to torture your "slave" and what I really wanted was a nice romp, and I was out of ideas and scared to try anything lest I seem stupid or unknowledgeable. I ended up guiding the situation that way and "made" him screw me silly...telling him when to take off my undergarments and where we were going to do it... but afterwards I still feel like there's something I ought to have done. should I tease more? make him beg? verbally command? I feel like I'm going to ruin something if I ask him anything too specific and my alter-macho-persona says that I suck if I can't figure this out on my own... but I totally feel like I made an ass of myself the other night. I'm dying for a chance to redeem myself to him but I want to be good and prepared when I do... so.... what are your stories? I know everyone's different but I'm curious as hell what you guys as slaves like and don't like... what makes or breaks the mood or a dominatrix's "hold" on you?