Making Sex Last Longer....?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Animularisen, May 29, 2008.

  1. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    Hey, so this is the first problem I've posted since coming back to the forum..

    My new guy cums rather quickly (couple of seconds maybe minutes) and he told me he doesn't know how to NOT cum that quick... so could anyone give me any advice on how to keep him hard and stop him cuming the minute he enters me?


    Thanks :)
     
  2. Joe

    Joe
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    That seems to be the number one problem for younger guys, and sometimes older ones too. It's apparently not easy to overcome, especially if it's down to seconds.

    One thing you might try is woman on top. That usually delays it a bit.

    You're guy might try "edging" -- masturbating until he's about to ejaculate and then stopping for a minute before resuming, then repeating several times. I've heard of this helping over time.

    And you might try for seconds or thirds. The first orgasm is usually the quickest, so if you have sex a second time within a few minutes it might last longer, then a third time.

    And he might want to try different (thicker) condoms.

    Good luck!
     
  3. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    I'm too shy go on top atm, coz its a new relationship and I'm not COMPLETELY secure with myself yet.

    I'll let you know about the edging. We've tried thicker comdoms but he still cums real fast. He thinks its a mix of being over excited and that I'm too tight. >_<
     
  4. HardRocker

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    Mostly just over excitement. It took me a while to slow down when I was young too. I think doing it a second and maybe a third time will help solve the problem. In the mean time, his confidence will gradually rise and his heart rate will inversely decline.
     
  5. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    *sighs* he can't get it up once he cums once. So like it doesn't help him cuming then starting again.

    I understand completely so I'm putting no pressure on him and making him feel bad or anything. I just want to help and he wants me to help him and this site usually helped me in the past :)

    Sex is very important to me because its my way of becoming close and sharing something that other people don't get with him, so hopefully we can work thought this... as I don't want to give him up.
     
  6. igor

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    We guys all have a refractory period where no matter what, we can't get it up for a while (from minutes to days - it varies with each guy). Try having him stop all movement when he starts to cum. Hold absolutely still until it's over. He should be able to remain hard and go again. It's the friction on the penis during the orgasm that makes it super sensitive afterwards.
     
  7. Barbwire

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    I don't really have any advice to offer your man on how to last longer. My husband has the same problem, and has for the 12 years I've been with him. It got to be so frustrating that I printed out a bunch of reading materials for him to give him pointers on how to last longer. He read them, but didn't bother to follow through and try any of the techniques.

    What I can offer you is this, sympathy. It almost makes me cry when I am so turned on and I'm LOVING the feeling of him inside me, then to have him shoot off in seconds. I'd never cheat on my husband, but I have an intense yearning to be with a man that could go longer. (sigh)
     
  8. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    I'll tell him to do that next time.
    Hopefully it might work.
    Is there any possibility its because I'm too tight?
    It's only me who its happened with, usually he lasts 20 minutes or so >_< which to me is still short but would be better then a minute.
     
  9. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    My boyfriend is wanting to not cum too soon so I think he will follow the stuff I mention (hopefully)
    It's good to meet someone who has the same problem or situation. I do get frustrated but I try to be very understanding... Sex may become very boring if he can only last that long.... i mean we could have hours of fun foreplay and such but I cum from penetration so its a big thing for me.
     
  10. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    It is a skill that has to be learned... most guys don't suddenly wake up one day and are able to last longer.

    I can last as long as I want... but it wasn't something that happened overnight.

    Yet just a couple of weeks ago I was cumming in like 2 mins... because I had been away from my g/f for a month.

    It took me until about the 4th or 5th time we had sex to last over a couple of minutes again.

    Now I can last as long as she needs me to, or can cum in a minute if I have to (quickie).

    It just takes practice.. learning to slow down... control the depth of penetration.. or even pulling out and changing positions when you feel you are about to cum.

    It is all about experience and knowing your body and how far you can push yourself towards that "no turning back oh shit! Im gonna cum! point"
     
  11. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    That sucks...seconds...minutes...shit i can go for hours if id like...im only 19.

    my FIRST time was 20 minutes...

    I suggest masturbating maybe....i heard it can help a guy control himself....i honestly have the problem where i can go forever and NOT cum...Sometimes even go for an hour then no longer able to stay hard to cum....


    Lets just say the girl usually cums b4 me....
     
  12. igor

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    I doubt it. Although depending on how tight you are, if he is using long strokes, that will get him off faster.

    So clarify this: You mean he lasted 20 minutes with someone else but only a minute with you?

    As has been said - if he can improve, it won't happen overnight. He has to learn his body's responses. Something else that may help is for him to try using a delay cream/liquid. I found that just a drop rubbed into the glans was enough to take off the real sensitivity and make things last longer.
     
  13. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    Thanks for the advice. I've never heard of that cream tho.. I'll check it out.
     
  14. igor

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    It has many names: Prolong, Detane, ManDelay to name a few. The chief ingredient is benzocaine.
     
  15. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    I learned a long time ago lasting more than 15-20 mins is a huge no-no with women... I even just read a poll in my girl's mag that 85% of women polled said between 8-20 minutes is ideal... anything longer is a turn off...

    I think if you are going for an hour you aren't feeling much or fully hard... I touched on this in a previous thread, but there are very few guys who can go that long if they are fully hard and can feel things... it's almost impossible.

    I don't think there is a guy alive who can be inside a woman that long - feeling her - and last more than 20-30 mins tops.
     
  16. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    itsounds like something they put on my lip before they did my lip piercings lol
     
  17. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    Yeah i understand tht now... but 1 minute isn't good >_<!
    Thanks for your advice/statement tho :)
     
  18. Pride

    Pride New Member

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    Right well i dont know....from what i hear....they love it...the girls ive been with personally...

    And yes i actually do feel it... so i dont get that one..and i am no less hard than when i started....also a lot of times if i choose or allow myself i can cum rather quickly...within 20 min and keep going just fine...which actually feels much better then...and then if i cum a 2nd time is rather great
     
  19. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Hmmm...in the meantime, have him give you oral until you're about to explode, or maybe let him do you with a vibe until you're about to explode. Then, throw him down, get on top, and ride him until you both explode. That way, at least you get an opportunity to get worked up too. Maybe that's a short but temporary path to some better enjoyment.

    Have him slow down though, that'll help. Have him stop and just stay there periodically. Have him pull out periodically too, and sort of start over. You could also distract him by maybe pinching his nipple, pinching his ass really hard, biting him, etc. (However, try that once...it might distract him and slow him down...or it might excite him and make him blast off sooner! You'll just have to try it and see.)

    You're both young. Advice from an "old fart": Drop any sexual inhibitions you may have. Get on top him and control things yourself...men usually last longer with the woman on top (unless you're just screwing the hell out of him and cumming all over the place yourself). Drop those inhibitions girl, take control, and show him that you are the lay of a lifetime. (I'm assuming here that he likes a woman who knows how to fuck rather than someone who lies there like a dead fish. Most of us guys do...right gentlemen?)

    BD
     
  20. cbrmale

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    A woman's poll that was recently going around in Australia had 3-7 minutes as okay, and 7-12 minutes as ideal, anything longer than 12 minutes was a turn-off. This is short of 20 minutes...

    In any case, back to lasting longer. There are a number of threads in this forum with good advice on this subject. The best technique is to practice with masturbation, taking himself to the edge and then retreating a little bit, and doing this several times until he comes. This is a way of learning the signs of impending coming. Combined with this is the pc muscle squeeze, get him to practice kegal exercises several times a day. While masturbating and getting close to the edge, squeezing the pc muscle just as he gets close to coming will stop things. These are basic Tantric sex techniques, and a more advanced technique is to squeeze the pc muscle and imagine your sexual energy being drawn up your spine to your top chakra. This is called sexual energy recirculation and it really slows things down.

    Once this has been practiced solo for a bit, a similar technique can be used for intercourse, starting by thrusting slowly and then slowing and maybe even stopping while squeezing his pc muscle until he can commence again. If he wishes, he can try sexual energy recirculation at this moment. This should be able to get him last longer, remembering that lasting TOO long is not the aim of this either.

    These lessons will last a lifetime, whereas numbing creams (a) mask the delightful sensations of intercourse and (b) don't actually teach you anything. With these Tantric techniques, the aim is to concentrate on the sensations of intercourse, and use these sensations to last longer.