Making my GF come (masturbating)

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by MoOog, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. MoOog

    MoOog New Member

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    Hi everyone!

    I came to this forum to ask a question that's killing me now. Me and my girlfriend are sex-active about 5 months now and i really want to make her come. I take more time sometimes going oral or with fingers stimulating her clitoris and she likes it.
    But the problem is that the feeling is to strong for her (in my opinion, even if she likes it) because she's moving with whole body on the bed and sometimes i can't even do my job. :eyes
    One day i thought "this is it, she will come" (it was really good, i could see), but she stopped me just before. She told me it was too strong feeling and she couldn't stand it... :ugh

    If I try going more softly, she doesn't feel anything... but when i touch the ''proper'' position she moves like getting a spasm all over a body sometimes. It's very complicated for me... but she doesn't masturbate by herself a lot, so she can't tell me much.

    Is clitorial stimulating not for her and should we try something else (like g-spot etc.)? Anyone ever been in situation like this before and how did u deal with it? What can we do? :)
     
  2. xeniadraven

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    She's simply not allowing herself to relax enough into the feeling. Have u tried asking her to masturbate in front of you so you can see how she does it? Also might be worth going to buy a vibrator together, that way its something you can do together.
    Relaxation is the main thing here, and as the relationship is still quite fresh she may not feel 100% comfortable.
    Has she been able to orgasm with other partners?
    x
     
  3. LordOfChaos

    LordOfChaos Member

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    I had something similar with my last gf. She was very inexperienced and only masturbated, with a massager, because she had 'a moment', not because she enjoyed it. She wouldn't give me any direction or instruction because she said she didn't know what she liked and i should know because i was more experienced. It may be a mental problem for her. As has been said, it seems she needs to become more comfortable with herself so she can guide you on exactly how she likes it. It's no good her just expecting you to know what to do as all women are different and like different things. There's no one rule for everyone.

    Good luck!
     
  4. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    Hi, LordOfChaos. I have a similar situation with my wife. She will come 2 or 3 times in a session through masturbation but frequently she gets to an extreme high and will not let me take her to conclusion. She cannot clearly explain what the issue is but explains that she feels that she has completely lost control and does not know what will happen to her. Sounds great to me but I wish she would go there!

    So, is it not possible that your gf is having smaller orgasms but this 'super orgasm' is lurking in the shadows.

    I am tackling it by taking her further and further into it in the hope that she will become completely lost and lose her inhibitions.
     
  5. xeniadraven

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    May sound silly, but have you tried to see if she relaxes more after a few "shandies". I know when i first became sexually active I also struggled with letting go around my partner at the time, and I know after a few drinks I found it easier to let go a little. x
     
  6. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    Me.......?

    Yep, she has had a couple of glasses of wine on some of the occasions but she has a real fear of this. She actually gets to the point of being close to tears. I can't take her beyond when she feels that way. So, it is slowly, slowly.
     
  7. MoOog

    MoOog New Member

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    We were boath virgins when started, so we are exploring it together. She never orgasmed by her own, because she don't masturbate a lot. Also she doesn't want a vibrator or anything - she says, she has me. :eyes
    She did masturbate infront of me and i tried the same, but with me it's always stronger feeling.

    She said the same thing to me, when we were (at least i think) very close to orgasm, after she stopped me.

    She doesn't drink or anything... but i think it might work.:D
     
  8. xeniadraven

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    So when she masturbates she doesnt orgasm?

    Correct me if i'm wrong but thats how i read your last post.

    If she has never orgasmed EVER then it will be even more important that she relaxes and accepts that regardless of what it feels like her body is doing, it will feel amazing.

    If you are aiming to give her her very first orgasm then she really will need you to be patient with her xxx
     
  9. octavius

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    It sounds like your pushing too hard on her clitoris and more importantly going after the clitoris too aggressively too soon. In short your trying too hard and not reading her body well. Girls move away because the stimulation is too intense for where she is at....much like being tickled but not fun... When she is ready, she should be pushing into you or giving any number of signs she's ready to orgasm (breathing, wetness, a certain flushed look to her skin, straddling your hand etc).

    Its harder to give guys advice on this because I have no idea what your girlfriend likes in terms of foreplay. You might want to try leaving her panties on when you are sucking and licking and touching her. Sometimes that can "dampen" the stimulation so it is not as intense. Then you can build towards more direct stimulation. I think progressive foreplay is what you need to be thinking about whatever route your take. Start slow with things she likes....kissing, kissing her neck, skillful breast play, kissing/licking her thighs/legs.

    When I finger a girl I rarely just do that. Usually I combine it with other activities such as gently teasing/sucking on her breasts, kissing etc. You need to go slow at first and make it more a part of the activities as she gets more into it (if she says she can't feel anything its not the speed... it is what you are doing). A slow come hither motion works on some girls or light circles on her pussy lips. i like to use my index and middle fingers or my thumb if i'm reaching around from behind. If you are hearing a light moan or a breathing change or she says, "oooh that feels great" your on the right track. Experiment till you see she's into it and then you can build from there. Vary things just enough to keep her energy building. You can tell your doing that well by her body signs (wetness, breathing etc). There is not really a set method here. Even with my own wife things always are a little different every time, but its much more so from woman to woman. The "skill" is not really what you do but being able to read your partners body.
     
  10. Dragon_Fire

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    If she's having a body spasm, it's possible she is already having an orgasm but hasn't realised it.
     
  11. somhairle

    somhairle Well-Known Member

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    This was what I was describing and it now puzzles me. My wife has smaller orgasms where she clearly builds, breathing heavily, faster, gets noisier and then shakes at a conclusion. However, there are also times when she goes much further beyond this and loses control. She becomes very noisy, weepy and a bit incoherent. She is scared to let this go further because at that point she has lost control.

    I'm not quite sure what this is.......or where it will lead.
     
  12. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

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    My wife was exactly the same. She loved fingers and cock but was too sensitive for clitorial stimulation and always pulled away. Good old fashioned perserverence prevailed in the end, now she can't get enough once I start.
     
  13. octavius

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    What your describing sounds more like the start of a g spot orgasm (unlike the original poster).
     
  14. MoOog

    MoOog New Member

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    A great forum (I hoped to get at least 1 silly answer, but now i actually opened a real topic). Thanks for your replies! :)

    She has body spasms from the beginning. I'm pretty sure it's more like a reflex spasm (probably because of too much pressure) than an orgasm. She rarely masturbates on her own so never felt it yet, also don't like the idea of buying vibrator or any other toy (only wants me). She also already thought of trying to drink a bit (we will see)...

    Octavius, maybe I am too concentrated to clitoris and not enough around it. But sometimes I try stimulating away from it, but usually there is no feeling. She likes my hot breath down there. -Great idea, I have to try what you said :)


    A bit problem is, we usually don't have much time together or we don't have a place to go. I'll do some experiences and I'll let you know of my progress.