OK, I think I have to admit that I have a bit of a problem. When I go to bed with girls I'm interested in some foreplay, and it's all very nice to be in bed together. But I never really feel like taking it any further. After a bit of caressing I just fancy going to sleep! Sometimes to please the girl I agree to have sex. But I dread it really. I get an erection but it's never sustained enough to go the whole way. As the relationship progresses my sexual interest seems to diminish, not grow. And then the relationship dies. I don't think the problem is a physical one - I'm perfectly able to have sex for one. I suppose when I do so it's not enough just to think of the girl, I have to fantasise in some way. I think if I analyse the fantasies they revolve around suffering in some way, and then orgasm is a release from that. So what do you think is the problem? Am I dating girls I don't really fancy? I've been dating some attractive women and I'm not sure I should realistically be hoping for more attractive ones. Do I just have a low libido? Or am I kinky? One girl even asked me if I was gay, but I'm not. I've started seeing a girl I really like and I'm worried it's all going to come to an end over this, so I'd be grateful for any thoughts.