I have been in a few puppy love relationships before, but I didn't feel ready to have sex, so I didn't. For whatever reasons, I recently slept with a ... friend. He is very attractive, but we weren't dating. We do a lot of outdoors stuff together; we are both serious athelets and we are both quite macho, so I never thought he would think of me as a ... feminine companion. One night, after some music and a few drinks, he started to touch me up, and I knew I want him... so I told him to wear a condom... and we did it right there on the living room floor. Maybe I was unusually hard to penetrate, or maybe it was my moaning in pain... after a few strokes, he slipped out of me and looked down. When he saw blood, the color drained from his face. I saw shock, remorse, and regret painted all over his handsome face. He banged his head against the furniture, he apologized repeatedly, and lamented that if he knew I was a virgin, he would have leave me alone. He went on to confess that he is a bad boy, that he likes to play, he sleeps with lots of women, and that he really didn't want to hurt me. He apologized over and over again and kept saying that he isn't being fair to me. (I can't help but to chuckle at that, because even as he say so with a tone of remorse, I can't help thinking that's a very macho, egoistic thing to say.) I told him I wasn't sorry, that it has been a mutual decision to play; and that all was fair as I wasn't pressured into it. So after a few minutes, he pulled himself together, finished our business... we each took a shower, fucked each other again, this time in bed, and more gently... and cuddled each other to sleep. Since then, we continue to play outdoor together; but we ended up spending more time playing house together, cooking together, shopping for groceries, repairing stuff, weeding the garden together, and walking the dogs together... and fucking each other nearly everyday, 2-3 times a day. After a week or two of playing, he casually told me that it feels much nicer without condom. I responded that I grew up in the AIDS-pandemic era, and I am not about to sleep with a self-admitted play-boy sans-protection. He seemed to respect my decision, and the subject dropped for some times. But lately (after going through 3 dozens of condoms in a month...), he is really trying my patience. A few times, after some foreplays, he tried to guide his penis into me without the rubber on, I had to shout to him in a panic, "wait, condom! condom!" Needless to say, I didn't feel so sexy after the fright. Then one day, after a lot of hot foreplay, we were both really aroused and ready to attack each others... but then he suddenly looked me in the eyes and pleded, "please, can we do it w/o the rubber just this once? Just let me penetrate once, I promise to pull out after just one stroke..." I frowned and shaked my head, I said no, no way. So he said "alright" in a tone of defeat... then suddenly tried to push his penis in [w/o the rubber!] I sat up right away, and snapped, "I said NO!" He gave me a sheepish, guilty smile and reached for the condom at the bed side table... How could this be? Here is this guy who insisted that I wear my protective gears when I do "extreme sports" (even though I am very confident in my skills and abilities and feel certain that I won't need them); here is this guy that made me swear to come back alive; who insists for me to wear his home-made "protective talisman," before he would let me leave for an extensive trip; but, hello!!?? How could this same guy so readily expose me to the risk of pregnancy and possibly STD!!??? (He knows I am not on the pills, he admits that he didn't use protection when he slept with his "steady girlfriends." And he admits that he has not been tested for STDs) What's the verdict? Is it ridiculous to insist on using condoms after sleeping with the same guy nearly everyday for a month? Or is he a shameless, selfish devil wearing the mask of a caring-buddy? If I have resisted so many times already and he kept trying to do me without the rubber, what's the chance that I could sit this macho boy down and talk some sense into him? Lastly... how do I explain to him the feeling of hurt and betrayl he imbued me with when he disregarded my decision and my health, and just go for whatever pleases him?