Love

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by MisterDeviant, Apr 22, 2011.

  1. MisterDeviant

    MisterDeviant New Member

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    Does love really exist? I've never felt this feeling before for any girl I've ever been in a relationship for. I felt a close bond of friendship, but I've always wanted to sleep around. I've slipped up a couple times, but I try my best to stay monogamous. I just don't know if I haven't met the right girl or if love just doesn't exist. Can anyone else give me some insight?
     
  2. Trond

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    It's quite possible that you haven't met the "right" girl, but you also mentioned that you're a sex addict (or perhaps that was a joke). If true, then that could screw things up.

    Love can mean many things though. If you have ever fallen in love, you would know what that is at least. Those feeling are pretty intense in men and women alike. In really bad cases, it can lead to mental "meltdowns", suicide or even murder. None of those things normally happen of course, but I have felt like was on the brink of snapping once or twice.

    I suppose a more general kind of love means that you are willing to go to very great lengths to help the person in question, and make sure that she/he is OK and happy.
     
  3. sad

    sad New Member

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    if love existed, don't you think someone would be able to describe it yet? there are probably more definitions for love than there are proof that god exists or aliens are real. don't waste time comtemplating these simple thing, instead just go have fun with a girl. a relationship lasts as long as you want it to. if it ends... it ends, move on... simple as that.
     
  4. Reflect169

    Reflect169 New Member

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    actually, love is a feeling, and much like other feeling such as guilt, depression and joy, it is impossible to articulate.
    feeling run on a completely different playing field of being. You can describe the pounding sensation in your chest when you have a panic attack, but the only way to express the anxiety and nervousness behind a panic attack is to use metaphors.
    the same applies with love. Volk did good job in describing what love would make you do though.

    MD, I had a very sceptical view of love until quite recently, i thought to be 'in love' was just to find a friendship which held sexual ground as well. I've been shaken up by my partner. I feel something for him which completely passes friendship. infact, lying in bed with him the other night, it hit me that there was NO OTHER place id rather be than in his bed, lying with him. I thought and i thought, and there was nothing to match it.

    My libido is stupidly high. I've not yet met a man to match it, and technically speaking, i am a hyper-sexual (or, in the old terms, sex addict). This doesn't effect falling in love. i effects the way you pursue love. take my partner, there was no 'love at first sight' , well i suppose to an extent there was, but my intentions were all less than savoury for months.
    Hyper-sexuality DOES NOT mean you feel the need to sleep with many people, thats just a by product of your high drive. Some are drawn away from relationships due to it, but no always. its a personal thing.
    My suggestion to you is to wait it out, and maybe try to enter a relationship without such thoughts for the idea of love. It will happen eventually, and it will knock you on your feet.
     
  5. MisterDeviant

    MisterDeviant New Member

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    Thanks guys I appreciate your input. I've only had a few relationships in my life and what everyone describes to me as long, I've been told by each one of the 3 girls that they felt that way about me. But for some reason, I have never wanted to be the one to get up in the middle of the night for her or anything like that. Not that I didn't care for them, I spent a lot of money on "just because" things, but when it comes to putting in a physical effort, I just can't get myself to do stuff like that.

    I guess I'm trying to look at it from this perspective... I'd do anything in the world for my son because I love him more than life itself. I know the love you feel for your children is unmatched, but it seems like I should feel that at least a little for someone I'd want to be in a relationship with.

    Idk, I'm honestly not looking for love. I figure if I find it, I find it. If not, whatever, I have my son. I'm also not the type to be a player and try to have sex with everything that moves. Idk, I was just looking for everyone's input and I appreciate it. =)
     
  6. backcheck64

    Gold Member

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    Yes, it exists. I went through women like water till I met my wife, at one point, I was dating 6 at once, sex with 46 women before her, monogomus for 28 yrs with no desire to stray. IF love didn't exist, I don't think I could stop the parade of cheerleaders through my bed.
     
  7. MisterDeviant

    MisterDeviant New Member

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    That's a very good point. I guess it's just a matter of time. Why not enjoy the ride? =)
     
  8. sinner

    sinner New Member

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    From Shakespeare to the Beatles. From Greek Mythology to Modern day Hollywood, Love has always been the subject of analysis and interpretation. There are many types of love. freindship, familial, romantic, self love (no not that self love...thats just masturbation) and countless other categories. Many religions are centered on the concept of love including, IMHO Christianity. To some ways of thinking, love is what sets us apart from other animals. If you want to start understanding love, i suggest you open a book, be it Romeo and Juliet, Wuthering Heights or Lady Chatterlies Lover. Then go out into the world and think to yourself, "what if I broaden the concept of 'self'" By that I mean that instead of just thinking about what you individually want and desire, think about what would be best for you AND your lover. Is sleeping around good for you and her? Or just for you? Love is a bond, whether it is between two people or between all of mankind. If you love yourself then you will be able to trust and to love others romantically and otherwise. Yes Love exists!!!
    It exists everytime someone drops a dollar in a homeless mans cup, when someone helps a stranger cross the street or holds a door open. It exists when you let a person change lanes in front of you on the highway, or when you hold the elavator door. And Yes it exists when you meet someone and accept that they are not perfect but that they are worth committing to for the rest of your life, to have a family and build more bonds and share their unique spirit. Yes. Love exists.
     
  9. Oliva

    Oliva New Member

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    "Love is considered the most basic emotion that human awareness can feel; therefore, it is the closest to the source of life. The burst of well-being you feel when you fall in love is due to the fact that you unconsciously open the channels of awareness that allow more Prana [Life Force] to flow."

    - Deepak Chopra from Ageless Body, Timeless Mind
     
  10. Oliva

    Oliva New Member

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    Love does exist in every being on the Earth and wide open .. . . .
     
  11. Oliva

    Oliva New Member

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    If we make our goal to live a life of compassion and unconditional love, then the world will indeed become a garden where all kinds
    of flowers can bloom and grow.


    - Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Late Author of On Death and Dying
     
  12. Oliva

    Oliva New Member

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    I Am



    I am free,
    like an angel,
    and take on many forms

    I laugh and I listen
    I am never far away
    I am never gone at all

    I am a friend,
    a good book,
    or a pink and golden sunset

    I am a mothers touch
    and a fathers
    helping hand

    You know me
    because
    I am you

    You are me
    through
    and through

    I am unconditional love
    and you
    are too!
    -John T. Goltz © 1996
     
  13. Oliva

    Oliva New Member

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    Hope that see you soon in love - :)
     
  14. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    Love does not equal monogamy.

    This is where so many relationships fail (including past ones of mine). Monogamy is a by-product of love. Separating love from monogamy is so hard to do. Monogamy in itself isn't good or bad, it's just a way of showing love, but monogamy can sometimes lead to undue pressures and unrealistic expectations.

    Because monogamy is 'expected' in most relationships, this leads to a no-go topic of conversation for many couples, which invariably ends in resentment, lying, cheating and blaming.

    ~Marcpatrick
     
  15. SarahBear2010

    SarahBear2010 New Member

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    That explains your avatar lol
     
  16. From my experience and explorations, love occurs when your mind agrees with your body that they both want the same thing. They say humans are the only animals capable of emotion and love, so I'd venture to say that love itself isnt defined by sexuality as all male/female animal species have the urge to mate even though they cant fall in love. My belief is that when the needs and expectations of the body are fulfilled by the same source that the needs and expectations of the mind are fulfilled by, then you're in love. For me and many others I'm sure, one of those needs of my mind is to be in balance as far as outputs and inputs go, so when all of those combined expectations and needs are fulfilled by someone who reciprocates back to me based on their own needs and expectations being in alignment with mine, then I'd say thats the best way I can put any sort of logical meaning to love. Your happiness and well being needs the other persons happiness and well being in order to stay balanced, so you look to do good things for the other person....obviously the majority of this is unconcscious so it gives you that feeling of doing good with nothing expected in return.

    Anyone have a similar viewpoint?
     
  17. MisterDeviant

    MisterDeviant New Member

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    I definitely agree with this. See, for me, love and sex are two different things. You can love somebody and still have sex with other people. I don't get why monogamy is expected. What's so taboo about having an open relationship as long as both parties are ok with it? For me, it's unrealistic to expect monogamy, therefor I never expect it with the other person. But I've had the problem of girls not wanting to talk about anything that makes sex fun, so bringing up multiple partners is definitely not going to end well.
     
  18. Untamed

    Verified Gold Member

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    So you know what love is now?
     
  19. MisterDeviant

    MisterDeviant New Member

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    The question was never what love is, but rather if it truly exists.
     
  20. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

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    Love exists it's just different for everyone so everyone will have a different viewpoint on it.