Love on Unequal Grounds?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Victus, Aug 3, 2012.

  1. Victus

    Victus New Member

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    I've never had much luck getting anyone into a relationship, or even just getting into bed with me. My first girlfriend was physically abusive and a sexual slug, my now-ex wife was financially and emotionally abusive and didn't take care of herself at all (She was nearly 500lbs at the end of our marriage, started the marriage at 350 or so. Also, she left me 7k in debt, goodness knows I wasn't allowed to spend my money), and since then I've only had sex once (From a drunk, lonely woman who's fiance had died a few months prior).

    About a year ago, I started talking to my best friend's ex-girlfriend (He left her for the instant gratification of a willing woman, and she's not giving him any second chances whatsoever).

    We've really clicked quite well. We have a fairly similar sense of humor, enjoy video games, not really fond of crowds, etc. Well, I feel quite strongly for her, and I have asked her out before. She said she's been through a few bad relationships too many in the last few years, and now she's not really feeling a relationship.

    I asked her to be straight-up honest with me if I have any kind of shot when she does feel ready for a relationship. I'm willing to wait for her for as long as she needs, but I just don't want to be strung along if she doesn't return the feelings.

    She did tell me that she does care about me quite a bit, and that I'm pretty much at the top of her dating radar. Not surprisingly, I was thrilled. It finally feels like I have a shot at finding an SO.

    Sounds too good to be true, right? Only thing we ever don't see eye to eye on is sex. I'm a very overly-sexual individual. It's very important to me, I'd probably even go as far to say that I'm a nymphomaniac, or darn close.

    Her, she never masturbated. She hadn't even had sex until last month, and that was with a mostly-gay friend of hers that she has known most of her life and knew he was clean, and no relationship would come of it (He's busy with his two SO). She loved it, but still, she's of the mindset that she's still not a very sexual person at all.

    My heart and my brain are saying to go for her still, but my libido is screaming at me, "RUN YOU FOOL!". Any advice on the situation at all? Also, she lives in North Carolina, and I live in Michigan at the moment, though I'm moving down there a few months after I get my Pell Grant (which should be anytime) so I can find a job (Goodness knows there's no jobs here in Howard City -_- )

    Sorry for the long post, I just had to rant my insecurities and depression to someone outside the situation a bit. It's just been eating away at me so horribly
     
  2. AGFUNK

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    Honestly I would go for it when you are both ready. She has only had sex once so she can't really know if she is a sexual person or not.
     
  3. Victus

    Victus New Member

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    I have been telling myself that once she gets to have some oral from me (I'm fairly great at giving it), and I ease her into it if we get together, that she'll open up more sexually. But she's even told me that she doesn't even like considering oral, giving or receiving. She may have only had one great sex experience (I know the guy, he's quite well experienced), but she doesn't seem to be jumping through hoops for sex. I guess maybe I should just be patient and hope.

    In the meantime, I need to find someone in this tiny hickabilly town to screw into submission. I'm going nuts here from such a very long dryspell T.T
     
    #3 Victus, Aug 4, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2012
  4. Alwayslearningsex

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    I once had a girlfriend, very sexual. Loved sucking and groping, touching often, made me a happpy. Intercourse was like never seen before and until then I used to believe orgasm from intercourse is rare.
    The thing that left me unsatisfied is she never let me give oral, she never enjoyed it. So ..... maybe your friend loves it, maybe not.
     
  5. AGFUNK

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    When I first started getting into sexual things like fingering and such I didn't much like the idea of oral either but I got eased into it. It just took some time. Like I said she really doesn't know what she's like until she gets into sex more, meaning actually having sex, and just playing around more.
     
  6. Victus

    Victus New Member

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    I suppose then I'll just have to see what becomes of us. If she does eventually want to date, and we get together, I'm going to try and ease her into it and try to make sure she has a good time. Hopefully ya'll are right and she will blossom into her sexuality some more. If she happens to be just a not-so-very sexual person, I'll admit I'd probably live with it since I care so much for her, and some sex is better than none, but I won't lie that I'd be a bit on the depressed side.
     
  7. Victus

    Victus New Member

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    Just wanted to post an update. In about a year, when she can move out of her current situation, she said she'd love to go in with me on an apartment~! That's definitely a step in a very good direction, I feel :3 (Not to mention it'll save her tons in gas money and time, as she commutes about an hour to and from work)

    *does a happy jig*
     
  8. Maverick

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    You're going to let a girl you haven't had sex with, that you are crushing on, to move in with you?? That will be awkward and potentially volatile.
     
  9. Victus

    Victus New Member

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    There is definitely that possibility of awkwardness, true. Despite the horny little rabbit that I am, I'm actually pretty good at not pressing the matter of sex too much. Also, I'm hoping by then that we'll actually be going out. I'm moving down there before the year's up, so I'll get a lot more time to just hang out and whatnot. Also, though she says she's not ready for a relationship at this current time, I think part of the issue is that she's had so many long-distance relationships that she doesn't want another.
     
  10. Godiva

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    I'm just going to say...run....because in the long run it will turn sour and you'll eventually leave her or cheat. Seriously speaking.
    All my bfs have had low libidos, and can't give me what i want. I don't think anyone will match my desires, either how...I suggest either go into it lightly and give her a chance letting her know the drill (That you have needs, and if she can't meet them you will become miserable and she doesn't want that) try to make her match your desire, or just don't bother. You're young, you'll find someone eventually.
     
  11. backcheck64

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    Horny little RABBIT????? Are you kidding? You'll wait a year, I had a hell of a time going the 3 weeks after my kids were born. That's the longest I've gone in the past 32 yrs. I had 46 women by the time I was 19.... Come on. And you'll just move in with this woman? You need therapy my man.
     
  12. 12barblues

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    46 women by age 19 ......is that an estimation or did you actually keep a running count?....
     
  13. backcheck64

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    Running count. I was in a competition with a friend, beat him by 7. Wife was 47....and I'm still on 47. That's how when I met her, I knew she was the one. 30 yrs and were still together and very sexually active. Vacation the end of next week so we'll go from out 2 to 3 times a week to 5 to 7 times.... I like vacation without the kids LOL
     
    #13 backcheck64, Sep 4, 2012
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2012
  14. cbrmale

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    I never kept count and I don't think I would want to! Like Backcheck my wife and I had sex about 3 weeks after each birth, and we also had sex about 2 weeks after her operation. The comforting thing was she wanted and needed to have sex with me, especially after the operation.

    Godiva is right. If you have seriously mis-matched libidos it will be very difficult and will probably fail.
     
  15. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    I think moving in together might not be a good idea. What if things didn't work out between you two...and you wanted to bring a female rabbit home to hump? I'm sure at some point she or you would move out, but it takes times to find a new place...so what happens in the meantime?