Love In Numbers#

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Cy83rDra90n, Dec 11, 2011.

  1. Cy83rDra90n

    Cy83rDra90n New Member

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    Monogamy-1 on 1
    Polygamy-1 male, many females
    Polyandry-1 female, many males
    Polyamory-many loves for both men and women

    So Then People, What Are Your Thoughts On These Types Of Love Relationships? Is It Good For Family Rasing? Do You Think It Would Help Out With Living Conditions, Like Paying For Bills And Grocery's? Do You Think Everyone's Needs Would Be Met? Monogamy Seems To Be Failing! According To Reports, About 50% Of People Stil Stay In Monogamy! And In That 50%, Some Still Stayed, Even Though They Are Unhappy! And That's Only In The USA! World Wide, It Was Reported That 60-70% Of Monogamy Is Failing! Is Multiple Love Relationships Rising Up To The Challenge? Will It Over Come And Replace Monogamy? Will Monogamy No Longer Exist? If You Stop To Think About It, We All Have Parents, Siblings, And Friends, As Well As Our Own Children! Would Any Of You Place Value On, Which 1 Was Better Than The Other In Each Catagorey? If So Would You Do It In Front Of Everyone?
     
  2. cbrmale

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    My wife is the offspring of a polygamous relationship, and it was not great. There was jealousy between the two wives who were cousins, and it was much worse when the second wife died and the first wife then had an extra bunch of children to look after who were not her own. Two wives, too many children, very poor.

    The children of the extended family still interact, although the offsprings of each mother are closer to each other. The 'old man' died just after I met my wife.

    On the whole I would say it wasn't good, and this was in Zimbabwe which has a long history of polygamy. But the problems went beyond polygamy, as he used to hit the first wife as well.
     
  3. Maverick

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    Do what makes you feel good.

    there's always abortion.
     
  4. 1hotmamma420

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    I don't agree with the "rules" of polygamy. I do however feel that sometimes, people are ment to have more than one spouse. But it should be for love of both not because they became of age and the old man wants her. And however many childern...if any..is up to them. So in general...more than one spouse prob would help out financially but just get a roomate. Be easier. That two spouse thing is not for me. I'll stick to one.
     
  5. boobjob

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    I don't agree with the premise that monogamy is failing. With all due respect to anyone who has gone through a divorce, i believe that a monogamous husband and wife have an advantage when it comes to parenting healthy well adjusted kids. Noty to say that it is impossible to be good parents in other situations. I believe that monagamy is best that in todays society there are many stresses that lead people to fail at monagamy. I believe that families are the most important thing in life. BTW I also believe that the best most meaningful sex is in the context of a loving committed relationship. Just because marriages fail does not mean that the institution of marriage is a failure. That premise is the epitome of moral relativism. We should aspire to what is goMod and right because it is good and right not because its all we are able to do. To say that monagamy is wrong because it is hard is setting yourself up for failure. If you find someone to love, commit to loving him or herand only him or her. Not because it is easy, do it because it is right.
     
  6. backcheck64

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    It's not monogamy that's failing, it's people. People want everything without consequences. People will marry anyone they've been with for a month, or will say yes.... They marry someone they don't really have a connection with and when things get a little rough or they get slightly bored...they screwing around. I've been monogamus for 29 yrs and wouldn't have it any other way.
     
  7. cbrmale

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    When I studied anthroplogical psychology I studied sex in quite some detail, and not one society we looked at was monogamous. All had various rules and boundaries around extra-marital affairs. In America, about 60% of married men and 40% of married women, or more, have affairs, and about 70% of marriages have non-monogamy, like the societies I studied.

    People are non-monogamous at the core.
     
  8. Essene

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    Sure, however, what reins true is that monogamous couples are more sexually satisfied than couples who engage in casual sex. So, regardless of what percentage does or does not participate in these activities, there are some who prefer to be exclusive and in such enjoy their sexual relationship more.
     
  9. almostthere

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    Monogamy is boring but I deal with it.
     
  10. backcheck64

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    Then you're not doing it right.
     
  11. boobjob

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    Again this is moral relativism. Every society has some percentage of crime also. It doesn't mean that it is right. There is nothing wrong about striving for moral justice. I believe in monagamy because it is the best way to accomplish the high moral aim of raising children and sustaining our species while maintaining fair honest and just familial relationships. Just take a look at every thread here about threesomes. Invariably there is a comment about jealousy or some other complication.

    You sound a bit like the teenager pleading "But Daaaaad, Eveerereryone is doing it." It is a really poor argument.
     
  12. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    percentages taken from america mean absolutely nothing....

    in all seriousness though, everyone is different. some people are monogamous others aren't. deal with it, figure out what you thrive on and follow through. just make sure you do it with someone or some people. whatever floats your boat.
     
  13. cbrmale

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    Monogamy has never, ever, ever existed, except in theory. It's not as if it has been tried and found wanting, it's never been tried at all! Beyond that, it doesn't take monogamy to raise children or have just familial relationships. With my wife's tribe the line of inhertance is along the female side, which is not uncommon, so she would be (say) Mary, daughter of Joan (not daughter of Fred). This way it doesn't matter who the father is.

    And that is precisely why monogamy became an issue, because men had to control who women had sex with in order to control of society. While women were free to have sex with whoever they wanted to, men were interchangable. Beyond that, the traditional way to raise children is to through a group of women, and if you have been as close to traditional societies as I have, you will appreciate that this is vastly superior to the western-style nuclear family. A number of benefits, but mostly to do with older, experienced mothers teaching first-time mothers how to do it well (and this is much better than the panic and chaos that is all so common within a nuclear family while they struggle with their first baby).

    Look beyond white Christian family values, and you WILL be surprised.
     
  14. boobjob

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    Well first of all which is it? That Monagamy has never been tried or that only White Christians have tried it? And why "White" Christians? Do white christians practice a different christianity that I'm not aware of? Or was that just a racist jab?
    Perhaps you are right that in a hunter gatherer type society with men away for long periods of time communal parenting has its values. I can accept that monagamy is not the only way to live. I do believe however that once a culture settles into a more organized system of interaction that there are inherent inequities in all familial structures. You are correct that I believe in the propriety of the judeo-christian ethic. (I'm still wondering what white has to do with that since Jesus would not be considered "white") I believe that a monoagomous relationship has inherent advantages that make it morally superior whether it be matriarchal or patriarchal.
     
  15. Paula

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    Adam and Eve didn't know monagamy. Or did they?

    How did mankind develope then?
     
  16. boobjob

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    Well there's a whole nuther question about what the snake and the forbidden fruit represent. The old testament can be pretty rauncy if you read it a certain way. Face it theres a lot non monogamy going on in the old testament.
     
  17. Paula

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    Adam and Eve had 2 children. Both boys.

    Should I explain more?
     
  18. lbushwalker

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    'Stralia Mate!
    Touché!
     
  19. Dragon_Fire

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    Adam and Eve had more than 2 boys. A third one - Seth - was also mentioned by name. Mostly the Bible only lists names that are relevant to the point in hand. Adam and Eve also had daughters which would have borne children from their own brothers.
     
    #19 Dragon_Fire, Dec 19, 2011
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2011
  20. boobjob

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    The Bible has some good sex. Song of Songs speaks of "lying all night betwixt my breasts" and "eating my honeycomb" "With great delight I sat in his shadow and his fruit was sweet to taste" There is more. Proverbs also has some good stuff. There is plenty of room in religion for good sex, even oral sex. There was lots of "begatting" much of it adulterous and even incestual.

    My point is that pleasure solely for pleasure sake without consideration for others is wrong.

    OP did speak in modern terms of paying bills, buying groceries and such so I stand by my opinion that monagamy is preferred. Even if I am "a white Christian"