Lots of questions!

Discussion in 'Sexual Foreplay and Techniques' started by nympho_ami, Mar 21, 2005.

  1. nympho_ami

    nympho_ami New Member

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    Hey. I'm new to the forum, but I don't find it embarassing talking about anything like this so I figured the best thing was just to make a thread and list the things I would like some advice on in here, so... Me and my bf have had sex, lots of times now, but he was my first and I was his.



    1. Duration of Sex!

    At first he couldn't last very long at all having sex- 2 minutes was about it. I thought that it would improve with experience, and though it has, only to about 10-15 minutes. The only way we have found he lasts longer is if he is drunk (then he can go for an hour easily LOL) or if we use the condoms with the anaesthetic in designed for this problem, which gives us maybe 20 minutes?? But he doesnt like the feel of those very much. He finds it very frustrating having to hold it in, but does for as long as he can. To have sex last even that long ^^^ I have to avoid doing things such as squirming about/moaning too much, or squeezing his dick, as they turn him on too much. What tips can you lot give me for helping him to last longer, other than the obvious things like thinking about other things?



    2. Positions.

    The first time we had sex, we tried it with me on top and frankly couldn't do it, so we ended up doing missionary which worked fine. Well now we always do missionary. We have tried other positions... doggy style, on our sides, etc, and find that he can't use enough to have any real impact on either of us. (No, he is an ok length not lacking, but it just doesn't seem possible to get any sort of decent thing going in those positions.) We can get it in fine with me on top now, but it doesnt do anything for him and I don't understand why? I also find it hurts if I sit right down on it, so I avoid doing that, and yet in missionary I find it pleasurable for him to do it as hard and deep as possible.



    3. Handjobs

    Well I loveeeeee to play around with his dick, it's great feeling it hard and knowing I'm arousing him. I have persisted in trying to give him handjobs, and finally I've been getting the hang of it. (At first I used to get the rythm going properly then stop just as I was getting it right... problems like that.) However it does seem to take a VERY long time doing that, so I was wondering if anybody can give me tips for either doing it so my hand doesnt ache as much, or making him cum quicker? I already turn him on and do other stuff before I start.



    4. Blowjobs

    This is totally new territory for me... to be honest I used to avoid it because I had no idea where to start, even though I'd read accounts online, and I know he's had head in the past so I was nervous I'd get it wrong and he'd be dissapointed. He was always fine with it, and said it was fine if I wasn't comfortable with it, but I started to realise how much he would like it if I did do it so I gave it a go- well, as I thought, I'm crap lol. He says that it's not having a lot of actual effect, but the fact that I'm doing it is a huge turn on for him, mentally. So basically ANY advice on blowjobs would be welcome here... from start to finish!! I find it a huge turn on when I'm doing it simply because it seems to mean so much to him, and if I could make it really good for him that would be sooooooooo great.



    5. Pleasure for me during sex...

    I know most women can't orgasm from intercourse alone, and I am sure with clitoral stimulation I would manage it just fine, but I find it really tricky when we are going at it to actually do that. (Bearing in mind we are in missionary because that is the best way for us.) Any tips on how I can stimulate my clit in that position? Also I find that different positions with my legs produce different feelings, I guess because it means his dick is at a slightly different angle, so if anybody has any particularly good "leg positions" let me know! :lol
     
  2. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Numpho Ami,

    Welcome to SF.

    You may have already come across this thread, but it was a good part of your answer to:

    No. 4. http://sexualforums.com/talk/showthread.php?t=397

    No. 1, Search Tantric Yoga. Have BF move more sowly, shorter strokes, if he gets excited, and breathe more shallow.

    No. 2. Nothing wrong with one position working most of the time. You can use other positions as foreplay, and then switch to the positon that works best for a mutual climax.

    No. 3. Put a rubber glove on your other hand, put on some vaseline, and wiggle your tip of your finger on his prostate, and see how long he lasts that way. Alternatively, you can play with his balls, or squeeze the base of his dick under his balls. You can suck his teats or massage his pubic mound. You could also search handjobs or masurbation. The search engine is realy fast on this site. Once my wife gets me hard playing with my dick, I like to jack myslef off, and haver her press her breasts against my chest, and caress my balls, and let me suirt her stomach and teats.

    No. 5. I personally let my dick ride up inside the lips so my tip is inside, but my shaft is along side her clit. I also squeeze my wife's bun muscles, with a free hand, when I am close to coming, which helps her climax. When I am on my side, I can reach with one hand and put my finger next to her clit. I sometimes have put my hand down while I am on top, and gotten pulsing near her clit. Put some vaseline or other lubricant on your clit, so it can slide around.

    Blessings
     
  3. nympho_ami

    nympho_ami New Member

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    Thanks for the replies... I will have a look at the things that you have said about. :)
     
  4. nympho_ami

    nympho_ami New Member

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    Any other advise??
     
  5. Logger

    Gold Member

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    Dear Nymph Ami,

    Your handle is pretty exciting. I gave you some concise ideas, and a dynamite thread reference. There is more that I can say, but why don't you let me understand some of your more specific questions. I can post on and do more research, but it sounds like you are doing fine. Just being considerate and trying to accommodate your BF sounds really great to me.

    Bessings
     
  6. kbate

    kbate New Member

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    1. Duration of Sex!

    10 to 15 minutes is pretty normal. If he is doing that well then you shouldn't worry. His performance drunk should not be interpreted as "normal". There are a few techniques you can use to prolong the sex.
    1. Code word. When he says a code word such as "easy baby" or "baseball" you stop moving and let him rest. This works pretty well and doesn't affect the sex quality.
    2. Less manipulation pre-intercourse. It all builds up, and if he has not been overly stimulated prior to intercourse, he will last longer.



    2. Positions.



    If sex hurts check your gyn. you should be able to find many positions which work, just experiment and play, practice makes for good sex.


    3. Handjobs

    Lubricant. Use saliva, or a creme, or a specially designed sexual lubricant. grip firmer and work. I always found that I would tire before guys would cum with hands. I think they have their own thing going on and unless you know how they do themselves, then it is hopeless. Try a mutual masturbation session or two, and learn what he does to himself to get off.



    4. Blowjobs

    I posted two long things in another thread. Read those, read the deep throat thread. plenty of advice already here for this.



    5. Pleasure for me during sex...

    It is up to you to move your body to position your clitoris against his penis. Use your hand if you need some help. Communication between partners is more important than you think. TELL HIM what to do, Read the posts here, Most men are afraid to ask if they are pleasing you, and unless you help him he probably won't ask for help. Just start telling him "honey try this" or say "I really like it when you touch me here." i.e. trick him into thinking it was his idea.
     
  7. Jay the 1

    Jay the 1 New Member

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    i got no tips but i love sex.....
     
  8. saraseasprite

    saraseasprite New Member

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    Hah, I'd be glad with 15 minutes, lol. Most guys I know never make it that long. With some training, you should be able to come faster too.
     
  9. Kermit78

    Kermit78 New Member

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    Kbate : Personally, I love handjobs. I just want to say to all women who think it's hopeless, don't give up ! The humble handjob gets forgotten but can be one of the most pleasurable activities for a man because he knows you're doing it just for his pleasure. Try the following : Start at the base and slide up using a twisting motion, when you reach the top close your your thumb and forefinger and squeeze the head through them as you go back down, still using the twisting motion. Don't forget the lube :) For variation, try reversing the orientation of your hand, using the other hand, or using both hands. Use a flavored lube (spermicidal lubes ... ick !) and you can use your mouth, too. Alternate between rubbing quickly, then slowing down, then moving quickly again. You'll have the double benefit of teasing your man, and your arms and hands won't get tired so quickly.