lost 75% of sex drive after having sex 1st time

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by thramagen, Oct 5, 2011.

  1. thramagen

    thramagen New Member

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    when we were trying to have sex, it was a struggle to get hard and even when I got it up it wasn't completely there. We fucked for like half an hour, I didnt cum. which is really weird because I was attracted to her and I'm normally a very sexual person, I masterbate like 1-2 times a day. Also I wasn't super nervous like you'd expect a first timer to be, I'm very open and shamless about this subject and will get naked in public and shit. And so was she so it was very comfortable, relativly. now 3 days later I'm just sexually drained and took me 3 days to charge up enough sexual energy to masterbate. some of my theories are:

    just need some time to adjust bc after like 10 years of thinking about sex I've shown the real thing and its hard to change my views or something.
    ???
    the stress that there was although relativley tiny was enough to ruin it for me.

    the need to have that experience be good jack off material getting in the way of what really turns me on.

    I just get turned on by emotional things for example got really turned on when she grabbed me lovingly when I was fucking her right, but that doesn't work that well when I try to use the memory masterbating! AHHH

    WTF!? could I get some theories as to why this might be please?
     
  2. Dougie

    Dougie New Member

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    could be lots of things. Most likely nerves.. maybe tiredness.. alcohol?
    I went to a sex party with a girl friend and we ended up in the jacuzzi. Everyone was naked but I didn't get hard even though I felt very sexual. Eventually got together with a girl and she had to blow me for like 15 mins to get me hard. No apparent reason. Other times I have been hard in seconds and ready to come quickly too.

    generally my sex drive can be cyclical, usually due to work stress but also sleep patterns and general health etc. I sometimes have sex once in a week and other times go away for a romantic weekend and do it 5 times in two days.

    Don't worry about it or over analyse it, just relax and it will cum (excuse the pun)
     
  3. thramagen

    thramagen New Member

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    oh you can tell I'm overthinking it huh? lol. I'd just really like to know wtf is going on bc since I was like 13 I've had a super strong sex drive totally unaffected by, sleep patterns, drugs, work stress. and then all of sudden this. theres definetly something going on even though I know it will pass but I still really want to know what it is if possible
     
  4. RideNaked2

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    The more you over think this, the more it will affect you. T gets what he calls an "energizer bunny" once in awhile. He will have an erection but can't cum. Next time we try, no problems..it happens.
     
  5. thramagen

    thramagen New Member

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    so Ive heard, but this is like the first time I've had like any problem in that area.
     
  6. 1hotmamma420

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    Dude you are way over thinking this. I understand it's your first time, so I think it was your nerves deep down. Porn and real life...yeah not the same! So you weren't expecting the real life sex emotions. Since you have been thinking about your experience too much, analyzing every detail and worrying; you have lost your drive. Stop beating yourself up and go try again! Good luck bud!
     
  7. shortylikesitrough

    shortylikesitrough New Member

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    I agree with everything above. The only other thing I would add, would be maybe try limiting the amount of times you masturbate. This can create very strong sexual tension, and once you two are in the mood, you should be ready to rumble!
     
  8. thramagen

    thramagen New Member

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    thanks! lol
     
  9. thramagen

    thramagen New Member

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    analysing things is a trade off, it makes you stressed out but it also gives you more insight into things. theres a balance maybe I am to far on the stressed side. but I think you guys have the impression that this is ruining my life or something by the way I presented it. I'm just a very interested in what controls me and what would cause that dramatic change. but ya I know that over analizing things can be harmful, but I figured that out analying things ;) I talk to much.
     
    #9 thramagen, Oct 6, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2011