I don't even know if I really need opinions but it's on my mind and a few comments would probably help me clear up some of the question marks floating around in my brain. And the long story begins... To get to the point, my girlfriend and I have been together for 4 and a half years. She is entering her second year at college (she lives there) and I am entering my third year of college (but first at this new school, and commuting). Last year we had some tough times, and the more I think about it the more I realize it was most certainly all my fault. The first month was great. We got along great, things went so smoothly. But... after that I would show up to her college at random times and expect her to hang out with me when she expected to use that time to cram last minute for a quiz. That would upset her. She preferred no surprises, and letting the excitement build up till the day we had planned to set aside to go to dinner or something. But on more than one occasion I showed up to surprise her only to find out she wasn't surprised, but in fact disgusted. But that's fine, I realize my mistakes and I don't plan on doing that again this year. The past 2 weeks our relationship has gotten closer and closer, and yet we've been seeing less of each other than normal. Due to our work schedules, heavy ours, her night classes, and a bunch of other things our schedules haven't been allowing us to see each other every day, and in some cases not even every other day. I haven't seen her for 3 days now, yet our relationship has been much better. Tonight she called me to talk to me for a bit and she brought this up, saying our relationship has been much better in the past 2 weeks and it's because we've both been very patient with each other and haven't seen each other too much to make us go at each other's throats. So anyway, I acknowledge that. And she said she's going to need emotional space when she goes to college because she knows her first semester will downright kick her ass, and I'm well aware of this. I think she was telling me that to make it apparent that surprises don't work well when she's busy busy busy. She said if things get hectic again like they did last year (when our relationship wasn't going too well), then maybe we'd need to take a break. I understand that and I stand behind it, because with the way we would be at each other's necks last year, I don't want to do that again. Anyway this year I have every intention of doing everything in my power to keep our relationship strong, which more than likely means me to stop worrying about stupid shit, concentrate on MY school work, and let her fully concentrate on her's. I think if we can do that, our relationship will be just fine and no break will be needed (as she said as well). The thing I'm a little weery of is, she told me she wants to be herself. She doesn't want to have to worry about calling me at the end of each night to tell me she's home and she's in for the night. That's fine, since I don't really call her to tell her I'm in for the night. But she told me she wants to just be herself and not have to worry about anything. I'm unsure of what to think by this... I told her I really have no quarrel with anything she does, because I know she'll be faithful to me, so I'm not worried about that a bit. But I mentioned to her the only thing important to me is that she watch what she drinks. I don't want her to get a little too crazy some night and drink a bit too much. She told me she understands, but she is an adult and fully capable of taking care of herself and accepting the consequences of her actions. She didn't drink TOO much last year, most of the time it was just casual, 1 or 2, play some cards study some notes and go back to her own place. But a few times she told me she had to be walked back to her dorm room with a friend... but she also told me she didn't like feeling like that. She said she didn't like feeling like she wasn't even capable to walk on her own. However she did enjoy just kicking back with 1 or 2, maybe even 3 or 4 if she was going to be there for a long time and play some cards and enjoy the company of some friends. That I had no quarrel with, but I didn't like the few times she came stumbling back to her dorm room either. She doesn't like talking about this too much being we're in the middle of summer now. She says college is college, summer is a time to forget about college, so let's worry more about our vacation in 2 weeks and work everyday instead of what to expect at college a month and a half from now. Buuuuut I can't help it. What should I think? Should I be afraid of her drinking too much? Is that what she meant by accepting the consequences of her actions? Or was she just trying to make it clear to me that she is an adult, she is responsible, and she is fully capable of controlling herself and the amount she drinks? I'm just trying to sort through the gray area as much as possible while trying to avoid bringing it up with her. Although, I may bring it up again with her tomorrow when I see her to try and level this out a bit. But until then, what do you think? Sorry for the length of the post but sometimes I feel a few extra words paint a clearer picture.