I have a serious relationship issue that i want to work on, here is some history: been dating for almost 9 months, friends for 1 year prior, its a pretty serious relationship, we are both monogamous to each other, and we plan to move in together by this time next year. we basically lived together over the summer, and been through a lot, a miscarriage, being broke as hell living check to check, and friendships outside of the relationship being tested, due to our new relationship. Over the last month or so, we have been fighting quite often, most of which stems from us not giving each other enough space, but neither of us want to be apart for too much, so it doenst really work out. we are both guilty of contributing towards the fights. On my behalf, I have been attending school VA while being almost completely on my own, as my family is in GA. I usually only get to see my family on holidays, and parts of the summer because i work, so i have been missing them, and the overall family setting for a while. the reason this is important, is because she has become so much to me, she has been there to support me when i am down, hold me when i cry and give me strength to get through a lot of my own personal turmoil’s, as well as the ones we have to face together. Because of this, i have grown quite emotionally dependent upon her, which i am not too comfortable with. i dont believe there is anything wrong with needing someone to help you out, but i am not comfortable with how much i rely on her emotionally. I know i can be quite sensitive at times, and it is very difficult for me to open up with people, and she is one of the few that i do open up to, and i give her almost 100% of me, which is why i look to her as my family, friend and lover, but i also put so much pressure on her to be all three at times that it is not fair. This leads me to gettin unjustifiably upset when she is not available to cater to my needs, which usually leads to a argument. this also makes it so when i have legitimate issues to address they are not takin as seriously, or comes off as just another complaint (last sentence is speculation). On her part, because of me, she feels that she must be the one to solve all the problems in the relationship, and never communicate her own until they build up and burst out, which is never good. while i understand why she feels like this lately, i have been there for her for so many times, in the past, it feels as though shes forgotten that i can be there for her now too. Also i personally feel like i put a lot of effort into the relationship in order for things to work, or for us to have time to do the things we like, while she does try, i feel she doesn’t try as hard as me, gives me grief when i fail to meet her expectations, and her efforts are more towards the things that she wants to do, and not necessarily towards stuff we like to do together. For example, last 2 weeks were the final weeks of the semester, i did my best to give her space, avoid conflict and help her achieve her academic goals, all while puttin my wants on the back burner. as a result, we had 0 fights through out the exam period, i took care of everything i needed too, and she got most of her stuff done. i knew that after exams we would be staying with her parents and that we wouldnt get much alone time for a while, she was aware of this too, but she procrastinated her work to the point she turned an assignment in on sunday, which was due friday. she would periodically take smoke breaks(weed) and loose hrs of time that could be spent doing work being high, to her credit, the paper she was writting was difficult, and weed lets her focus better on certain topics, but she still spent a lot of time not doing anything, and would get upset with me when i wouldnt do nothing with her. she also refused to have any type of intercourse for over a week claiming she had a lot of work to do, which is fine, but makes me feel like she just doesnt want to have sex with me, when she can get high and pass out for 6hrs, but not spend 1 hr with me intimately. i am currently staying over a older neighbors house (50 something, good friend of the family) because the commute to work from her parents is almost 2hrs. we had planned that i would come to her house on wednesday, and stay past christmas, but she called me last night and told me she will be staying at her cousins till friday. if this was any other time of the year, i wouldnt mind, but it is the holiday season, her cousin will be staying with her family for christmast and if i wanted to be alone for the holidays, in a room playing video games, i would have chosen to do so. i could have gone home to GA and spend christmas with my family. i understand that she wants to see her cousin and spend time with her and thats all good and well, but when i address it, shes seems mad that i even mention it, and that i shouldnt be complaining. in the middle of typing this she calls me and ask me to come up to her cousins to see her, i am at work and dont get off till 5, and i tell her i might be able to get off earlier but i have to check, she gets mad, says nevermind and hangs up abruptly . i feel like i am being taking for granted because you chose to visit your cousin, you chose to stay till friday, i cant see you just because you want to, and you get mad and frustrated at me because i dont comply. I dont know what to do, if i am over acting and coming off as a lil bitch, please let me know, but i cant help but feel hurt and under appreciated. I want to work this out, because we both love each other, and although she acts like this on occasion, she is usually very loving and giving. what am i to do thoughts please on the longest post ever.