Long-term relationships: Keeping it fun?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by RodneyBMcThrustin, Feb 9, 2012.

  1. RodneyBMcThrustin

    RodneyBMcThrustin New Member

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    This question is for those of you who have been in a relationship for many years.

    How have you been able to keep your sexual relationship fun, adventurous, and spontaneous?

    How do you keep things interesting?

    I'm in a new relationship and we're both committed to this goal but I'm interested in how others did it.

    Many thanks in advance!
     
  2. ply

    ply
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    We didn't. LOLWe made it up to men take a pause.And then I fell to pieces. It's hard to tell what exactly our downfall was. Maybe a combo.I'm pretty sure that if I had a job and some money again, she'd be less stressed and find me a lot sexier
     
  3. JTS

    JTS New Member

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    Good post/question. I've been in numerous medium term relationships, and one long-term (was married for 12 years prior to divorcing). I'm going on 50 yrs old now, but my general outlook on things are that men and women are extremely different in their values and interests. I'm not saying that it's impossible for a man and woman to find each other and truly enjoy each other in all aspects, but I would say that this is the exception to the rule. I would say most relationships and marriages probably have less than 10% where the man and woman are ideally suited for each other in all aspects of their personalities. In the youthful period (20's, maybe into 30's) men and women overlook personality trait differences because of physical attractions. They mate/breed, produce offspring, and then eventually find they're losing interest in each other. They either divorce/separate, or stay together because of religious or familty upbringing. The reality is that most people grow tired of each other over time; could be several weeks, months, or maybe years. If you're fighting to keep things interesting, than you're probably on the downhill slope. Good luck. The unfortunate thing (IMO) is that sex is pretty tough to make interesting, unless you both share some type of non-vanilla erotica or fantasies. IF one or both of you is pretty vanilla-sex oriented, then I don't care how many different positions or scenarios you can dream up, you're probably approaching the end of the road as far as being enthusiastic about your sex life with your partner. Of course, you can care about someone and still stick it out for a period of time. This is perfectly natural; but most if asked anonymously would admit they're bored of their partner sexually. I'm interested as to how many out there will stand up for their relationship, and emphatically state how it is only their partner they're interested in, and only wish to be with that person, and are just truly looking for a different position or role-play that can somehow extend or accentuate their relationship. I'm sure there will be a number of those. Or, how many people will agree with me that if truthful, they've grown bored of their partners, and would love to venture on with other partners, if only not to jeapordize economic, emotional, or other human conditions that they value with their current partners. Bottom line, how many would love to have "open" relationships if they could keep the comfort, stability, security, continuity with an existing partner? Love to hear....
     
  4. RideNaked2

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    T and I have been together for 10+ years...our relationship has had ups and downs but I truly believe he is my soul mate. Maybe he will share his feelings here as well...???
     
  5. HardRocker

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    Good answer, JTS. My wife and I have been married going on 28 years. We were wild and highly sexed when we were young. A child(turned 27 today) along with jobs and domestic necessities breeds over familiarity and boredom. We tried to stave it off by making time once a month or so for a real date, treating each other like boyfriend-girlfriend, dinner and dancing, etc. If you can catch a whole weekend now and then that's even better.

    But no matter how hard you both try, it still has steep ups and downs. Health issues, family nuttiness, births and deaths. We muddled through and eventually saw the light at the end of the tunnel, hoping our creaky old selves could light it up again. Did someone say menopause?? Yeah, there is that, combined with the fact I don't have a 25 year old dick anymore. and it was a challenge.

    But we still get around to sex, I can still manage to be a pretty good lover, she usually enjoys it and we try to appreciate what we can muster. And now we have a long intimate history behind us that neither would trade for something fresh, temporary and exciting. It doesn't keep me from wishing I could fuck some of her friends, or her sister, or my pharmacist :lol. Now that has to make me sound old; I want to fuck my pharmacist... no illusions that she, or they, would have me though.

    And we all live happily ever after.
     
  6. ChelseaDunn

    ChelseaDunn New Member

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    How we do it? We do not think about it. You know, sex is more fun when it is random and spontaneous. You just need to be creative just like the
     
    #6 ChelseaDunn, Feb 13, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 13, 2012
  7. mikeh

    mikeh New Member

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    Been married 10 years. Went through a dodgy patch and came out the other side. Commun ication in everything is the key. And telling her she's sexy every day.
     
  8. JTS

    JTS New Member

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    Thanks HardRocker. Although I've been fortunate to having relationships with nice looking women who are good persons for the most part, my experience is that women tend to be vanilla-sex oriented. Few have been into adventurous sex or suggestive of something other than just normal stuff. It seems it's always me trying to get them to try different things, and in some cases they've tried to accomodate, but for the most part, it's like pulling teeth. Maybe it's just the kind of woman I'm attracted to, but it'd sure be nice to find someone that was a bit more adventurous and not so tied to the idea that sex is love. Blah, blah, blah. I think in relationships you show your love day in and day out, and sex is a time to get down and dirty. haha. Making love occasionally is needed of course, but I like and want something a bit more nasty (MFM as an example).
     
  9. pbs

    pbs
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    And when you get old, your bodies just know what to do when they touch each other. We have dates once a week, and when she touches the tip of my penis to her clit, we both start to get hard and wet, and from there it's very spontaneous. She now gets to have 4 or 5 clit orgasms using my penis, my tongue, or her finger, over the course of about 3 hours, with me taking some time to stretch her out and enjoy her softness several times in between or during her orgasms. When it's time for me to cum, I take as long as I can, as slowly as I can, and recently have had a strange feeling - I feel the experience of an orgasm, all of the stages, seemingly in a dream, right before the main event, and when the dream reaches the climax, the real orgasm starts for me. It's kind of like having 2 orgasms, one after the other, and there is a huge amount of semen. We've been together almost 40 years, and this new "double" orgasm has happened only in the past few weeks.
     
  10. 12barblues

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    what a great post ...thanks pbs
     
  11. Black_Magic83

    Black_Magic83 Member

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    We never look for ways to spice it up, we just go with the flow. We have affairs.... with eachother. Send seedy adulterous messages to eachother, telling eachother what we will do to one another, say our spouses dont understand us anymore sexually... so we 'meet up' and give eachother a good seeing to! LOL
     
  12. lbushwalker

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    BM that sounds like real sense!
    My spouse does not understand me.....will you come home with me tonight?
    WOW factor!
     
  13. pbs

    pbs
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    I've been married to the same woman for almost 40 years, and still get wet thinking about the next time we will make love. Here's how it has unfolded:

    We agreed early on that a child would come between us, and we had the mutual goal of focusing on each other and our relationship, so no kids. All through our lives, each of our top priorities has been the happiness of the other, in bed and in all other aspects of life. We have both surrendered completely to each other, and would do anything to make the other happy. We have a play date once a week, when we dedicate the entire day to loving each other. I've always been pretty easy to please, and have kept things new for her by constantly exploring new and different ways to make glad that she's a woman, especially in bed. She has interests outside the marriage that I support enthusiastically.

    When we are loving each other, we both fall into a kind of euphoric oblivion. We disconnect our intellect and turn on our feelings, and our bodies know each others' language so well that we sense anticipation in each other, and coax and tease those desires as long as possible. As she approaches orgasm, every fiber of my being comes alive with a rush of exhilaration in my chest, knowing that her desire is at it's peak, and I hold off letting her cum as long as possible. If I had my way, I would just make love to her endlessly, but we have decided on once a week to give each other time to recharge.

    Sorry if this is a little long, but I get carried away sometimes.
     
  14. ilickurs

    ilickurs New Member

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    yes I agree It will come as it is without knowing
     
  15. AHappyWife

    AHappyWife New Member

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    We added some toys that are so fun. We always go to the toy store together. I like dressing up for him. He agrees (took a while to make it happen though) to wear some tiny boxer briefs for me that are see through. I love them and he looks stunning walking around with them on! Also, whispering sexy words you might not usually say can be uber hot. Have fun discovering!