Long term partner w. no sex drive for 3.5yrs

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Shadow152, Jul 3, 2012.

  1. Shadow152

    Shadow152 New Member

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    Ok i'm in a long term relationship, also my first btw and my partner & i have a 3.5yr old son, i know it's not uncommon for women to lose interest in sex for a while after having children but there is something bugging me...

    About a year ago we invited a mutual friend into the bedroom for fun ad threesomes are a turn on for my SO but as we seemed to have the same ideas kept bumping into or interrupting each other so called it quits. The other thing thats getting to me is that she's desperately after a thrusting rabbit vibrator, but claims to have little to no interest in sex and we haven't been intimate with each other for about 2 months now…

    The other day when i asked her about this she would'nt give me a straight answer on the subject and had a kind of guilty look on her face that seemed to me she was thinking that if i say i'm not physically attracted to him he'll leave and to be honest i do think that would likely be the case as i've always thought being intomate with someone, not just full sex, even rubbing, caressing, snuggling etc is a big thing to showing feelings for someone…

    Anyone else have any experience with something like this? Would appreciate any thoughts on the matt

    Shadow
     
  2. lbushwalker

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    Shad, I think you know what is going on.........*sighing sadly*
     
  3. 12barblues

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    poss that she may have strayed from the marriage and picked something up that she doesnt want to pass on to you...but she doesnt know how to tell you....just another possibility....sorry
     
  4. faceman

    faceman New Member

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    I know it's in our nature to automatically assume the worst but I think you should get to the bottom of it before you make any conclusions. It might be nothing or it might be something you don't want to hear. But if your marriage is worth it you should make it a point to clear this issue up. I wish you the best of luck. I've been down that road before and it was the most painful part of any relationship I've been in
     
  5. 12barblues

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    yep. and sometimes they just dont wanna tell....mine messed around for 6 months, and lied to me the whole time before i put together enough evidence that she finally couldnt lie anymore....ultimately her lies ended our marriage...
     
  6. cbrmale

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    I knew a woman who's husband had an affair for more than 10 years, and that's how long it took her to work it out! He told her about it and she ended up wanting to have an affair with me to see if it was as good as he said it was. But in the end she backed out. During his affair he was more sexual towards his wife, and after she found out and he ended it their own sex life deteriorated.

    There are a couple of things about affairs. The first is that being intimate with someone: hugging, kissing, caressing and sex may mean nothing more than you like having sex with them. The second is that you can love two people at the same time and it doesn't affect your love for either person. Like my friend's husband I often feel more attracted to my wife when I am having a long-term affair.

    There are many flavours, and yours probably means she isn't attracted to you anymore.
     
  7. Shadow152

    Shadow152 New Member

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    Thanks for the replies guys, what you've been saying is pretty much what i've been thinking constantly over the past few weeks, but atm S.O just won't tell me whats going on, which i think is going to end up with the same result as if she has lost interest/strayed afield as i can't keep beating myself up over it, will put an update on where things go
     
  8. YoungSlim

    YoungSlim New Member

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    Did you ever get to the bottom of this ?