life

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Blunt, Oct 19, 2006.

  1. Blunt

    Blunt New Member

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    im not a religious person however i do believe there is a higher power and at the minuite im some sort of hilarious joke at how much bad "luck" im having. all right im in college doing a course at the minite and about a month ago the only girl in the class starts talking to me at the bus station, shes not a model or anything and is definitly not sexy to most but i like her for who she is so after the past month i finally gather up the courage to ask her out to the cinema or something so im on the bus home and then a dude she met last week gets on the bus and then they end up starign at each outher for most of the bus back and i realized then that whats the point in asking her out if shes already going out with this guy(sort of he told her hes buying her a drink sometime). i mean im not the back stabbing type and i just want her to be happy but i cant help feel that im screwed again by some higher power and im destined to be alone. its not so much a question but i needed someone to tell and most of the serious members here seam alright so i thought ii would share my sorrow with the world
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    Love, how old are you?

    And am I understanding correctly: on the day you mustered the courage to ask a girl out, you overheard another gent ask her out as well? Not a problem at all. Really. It was polite of you not to ask her in front of the other guy. But asking her out to a movie or something and knowing that she is going out for a drink (sometimes, maybe, if they really make plans) with someone else isn't wrong or bad or anything like that. You worked up the courage because you like her, ya gotta let her know, baby! Ask her! You're worth it!!
     
  3. Joe

    Joe
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    That reminds me of a time when I was about 15. I had had a torrid crush on a beautiful young lady for a couple years and finally decided I was going to ask her out to a school dance. I even told my closest friends, so then I'd HAVE to ask her. Well, those friends told another friend, and he came and asked me if it was true. "Yep," I said, "I'm going to ask."

    Well, he convinced me that she'd turn me down and I chickened out. Next dance, guess who she went with. *nods* The guy who convinced me not to ask her. They went on to be sweethearts throughout high school and college, married, and have children. I went to the dance with the guys.

    Ask the gal out. She's not going steady with the guy. If she turns you down, so what? At least you will have tried.
     
  4. Hot Wheels

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    Nothing ventured, nothing gained:)
    Ask her.. she might say yes...
    You have nothing to lose and everything to gain:D
     
  5. Bluesy

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    I think you should go ahead and ask her out. It's possible that she and this other guy have some chemistry going on that has rendered her uninterested in others at the moment, but you never know. Maybe she discovered that he has an annoying laugh, or he said something off-putting...their little thing could disintegrate at any moment. Don't assume that she's head over heels for him and they'll be getting engaged any day now.

    As for the higher power business, what I've been told by religious friends is that if something doesn't pan out, it's because it wasn't meant to be. And those who believe in soul mates say that you meet that person when the time is right. So perhaps it's not your time yet, and she's not The One. It's natural for people to project the personality attributes onto romantic interests we would like for them to have, when reality tells a much different story. Seeing others through rose-colored glasses is a good way to think of it. She may not be all that you think she is, and it's possible that if you dated her for a while, you might find that you can't stand her and wished you hadn't invested all that time in getting to know her.

    If she shoots you down, then she wasn't the right one, right?
     
  6. Blunt

    Blunt New Member

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    well asked her, in short she said no. ahh well at least i tried, thanks for all the advice much apriciated
     
  7. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Remember, girls admire courage. Don't feel intimidated! A low key invite is best at first, like, "how about a Starbucks before class?" That way you get a non-threatening face to face, and there you can good feel if there are vibes that can lead to something sexier! And if not, no big deal!
     
  8. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Dude, you are reading way too much into the situation. You have not even asked her out or enquired if she is dating anyone. So how can you draw the logical conclusion that she would not be interested in you?

    It is not some higher power screwing you in an effort to make your life miserable but yourself. Women here in the UK are more socialble, friendly, and open minded than the US. Yeah if you were in the US and she was attracted to the other guy you probably would not have a chance. Luckily you live in the UK and have a shot with her. Get some confidence and ask her out.
     
  9. Joe

    Joe
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    ahem.... Post #6 guys. He DID ask.

    Blunt, don't let the negative reply get you down. That happens to most guys from time to time. The first girl I ever asked out turned me down. She asked for a rain check, but I was too devastated to ask her again and waited for my first date until someone else finally asked me out. I don't remember anyone ever turning me down since that first gal. Just because she said no doesn't mean it'll ever happen again.
     
  10. Blunt

    Blunt New Member

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    thanks for the advice much apriciated
     
  11. BustHer

    BustHer New Member

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    Blunt, when we are young we tend to have a massive fear of rejection, as we age and learn we get over it. A friend of mine in high school got me over it early I suppose. I wanted to go out with a girl I found hot and could barely stand to be near her because it would make me so horny and nervous that I couldnt think or talk straight. He told me,"Hey ask her or you'll never know and someone else might." He was right I finally calmed down enough to ask her and it was all good after that. I know she told you no but dont let that get you down it happens to everyone at some point. The chance for her to meet you and get to know you was a loss for you both, keep your chin up I promise you another will come along.