Libido control

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by whybother, Dec 7, 2015.

  1. whybother

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    are we able to control our libido? What factors influence libido? It seems like more sexual activity leads to more desire. Emotions seem to have an impact also.
     
  2. HotForHoney

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    The more I get, the more I want.

    I know sometimes I'm slow to start if it's cold.
    It might take more to get me in the mood if I had a bad day. I think a lot of outside factors, including emotions (both sexual/non-sexual) can/do influence libido.
    I think stress is big too. Sometimes there are many things on your mind and you can't focus or care about sex. Other times you just need the release.
     
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  3. Nixie

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    I don't know if we can control it, but I think we can definitely influence it.

    Libido is greaty influenced by a wide range of chemicals running through your body, which are influenced by pretty much everything you do in your life. Diet, exercise, how much natural light you get (often due to the time of year), stress, relationships, what medication you take... I'd imagine that pretty much anything that alters the chemical processes in your body will alter your libido, in the same way it alters other aspects of your physical/mental health.

    Of course there are some things you can't influence, like your past. If you were sexually traumatised in some way (no matter how small an event it may have been), there might be something in your brain stopping you from wanting sex. Even physical violence that didn't involve anything sexual can make you pull away sexually from other people, as being vulnerable is upsetting, and sex makes you vulnerable. Some people eventually recover from things like that and some do not.

    There are probably an endless number of factors that influence libido, so if someone wants to influence theirs, I guess the thing would be to realise which things can be changed and which cannot - and start working with the things that can be changed. Personally, I'm an advocate of daily exercise as a good place to start, as that can have a huge influence on your brain. But I'd think that anything that gets your chemicals heading in the right direction is good. :)
     
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  4. whybother

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    Awesome, thoughtful response.
     
  5. whybother

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    Appreciate the response.
     
  6. afunk13

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    I have no sexual activity besides my own hand and my libido is usually through the roof. I usually have to get off everyday sometimes twice a day just to take the edge off to where I can think.

    Sometimes high stress will kill it unless it's stress at work then I need the release to destress. I find that if I don't masturbate as much it goes down a bit. I've also started working out and that seems to dull my libido as well.

    I've tried a lot of things to shut it off but it usually doesn't work.



     
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  7. Sagittarius84

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    I don't think we can control our libidos directly, as elaborated upon by the previous posts, but I do think we prioritize it. I think depending on what mindset we choose determines if, when, or how we'll cater to our libidos. I guess that ultimately leads to some measure of control, as certain lifestyle decisions bear consequences that can affect the libido.
     
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  8. HotForHoney

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    What time of day do you work out and what time do you masturbate?
    Just wondering if you don't mind :)
     
  9. afunk13

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    Hello again h4h!

    I usually workout during my son's naps between 11am-1pm. If I get off it's usually at night after he is asleep or during my shower after my workout. I have no privacy what so ever so it makes getting off difficult.
     
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  10. lbushwalker

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    Physical exertion tends to increase my libido but so does frequent tactile and skin contact particularly with SO.
    Away from her it dies down and overseas from her (like now) drops to near nil unless the she stirs me up with suggestive messages or pics which she has the tendency to do then it comes back in a rushing surge.
    So in a sense it is my preferred partner that has influence on how my libido reacts more than any other factor.
    I guess that is called chemistry or alchemy; the golden magic potion :)
     
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  11. lkg4f

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    My mind is the control here for me. As my husband fell ill he slowly became impotent and penetrative sex for me was no longer there and I love sex. Loving him I just toned down and accommodated his needs. I made sure he never felt any less a lover than he was and he was a great lover. We made the best of what we loved to do. After his death I never thought of sex until I got online and eventually came to SF here. It has been educational and fun. Libido? After time with my BF, my engines are up and running which is amazingly wonderful. Like the saying goes - practice makes perfect.
     
  12. lucky5338

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    Keep the motor running darling xoxoxo :)
     
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  13. lbushwalker

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    Hers are Turbo Charged!
     
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  14. lucky5338

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    and how !!!!!! :)
     
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  15. lucky5338

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    My libido is getting turbo charged as well . Must be these blood pressure pills LOL :p
     
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  16. sensless

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    I think we can't control it.

    Having said that, if we keep doing something for a few months, our brain will get the habit of it and that will be part of our routine. We can condition our brains.

    This is so interesting, I invite you all to google for scientific papers on the subject. When they're difficult to read through, read the abstract and the conclusions. Avoid .com sites.

    I have sex even when my libido is low, very low. I don't want my brain thinking "not having sex" is OK.

    I'm always on the searching for things to get desire going, for me and for my man. That's one of the main reasons we're OK with having sex with others. I'm also OK with him having sex with me, while fantasizing about other women.

    I just want for us to be as sexual as we can. We're both rewarded if our libidos are been nurtured.
     
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  17. lucky5338

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    I think you are right . You cannot control it. It is a bit like giving up smoking - you can go on for years without smoking after giving up but just one cigarette and off you go again. Once the desire is there it just does not go away ------ sits down and has a cup of coffee LOL !! :)
     
  18. Nixie

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    Couldn't agree with you more in regards to most of the .com sites. particularly the ones trying to sell you something. ;)

    But I do find sites like Nature, which publisher articles from the scientific journals they publish, to be rather good. I found this article about fuit flies (poor fruit flies and their short life spans - we're always picking on them) that I found to be rather interesting, yet not surprising:

    http://www.nature.com/ncomms/2015/150630/ncomms8490/full/ncomms8490.html

    The effects of dompamine have been studied in regards to other functions of the brain, so I'm not surprised they're starting to look more at libido now. Luckily, chemicals such as dopamine, adrenaline, etc. exist naturally in our bodies - it's just that sometimes we don't produce enough (or sometimes too much) of them. That's where I think nutrition and exercise come into play - making sure your body has every bit of help it needs to function properly. It's similar to the kind of advice given to people that suffer with various mental health issues - get your body healthy as that can only help, not hinder, your mental health.

    Of course I could be completely wrong, but I just think there's something there that scientists are tapping into. However, I also agree with @sensless that practice makes perfect. We are animals, as and such our minds are able to be trained by postivie reinforcement. ;) xx
     
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  19. sensless

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    .com publishing peer-reviewed papers are excused! And Nature and Science are at the top of the food chain of scientific periodicals.

    About that paper, they focus on male sexuality, just like most research done with humans. I can understand it wouldn't be easy to work with females of insect species, since they're using courtship as a parameter and in the case of insects, that's a male prerogative.

    However, with humans that's also the trend, and I'm not thinking only on research about sexual response. It's a pity.
     
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  20. Nixie

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    They're good, aren't they! Mind you, sometimes I like to "slum it" with a copy of Wildlife, the natural history magazine published by the BBC. Haha, only joking, that magazine rocks. :D xx
     
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