Lazy Fingers

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Barbwire, Mar 5, 2010.

  1. Barbwire

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    The other night, hubby was between my legs eating me and I told him to put his fingers in my pussy. He started to, and I said, "Get them wet, first." He licked them and then tried to shove them in without pulling my lips open first which can be quite uncomfortable for me if my lips aren't wet. I had to tell him to part them before he slid his fingers into me again. Once he got two fingers in, he just left them there, didn't move a muscle.

    After a few minutes, I had to say, "Fuck me with your fingers." He did for a couple of strokes and stopped again. It was so frustrating, I about screamed, but I didn't. I raised my hips towards his hand and he still didn't get it.

    It's amazing to me that I still have to tell him step by step what he needs to do to get me off. Am I wrong that when a woman asks a guy to finger her that the guy should know that means to not only insert the fingers into her vagina but to actually pump them in and out or at least move them around to stimulate the g-spot? Keep in mind we've been sleeping together for 14 years.
     
  2. igor

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    I told ya before - I'd be glad to demonstrate the proper way to do it.
     
  3. FlirtyChick

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    CL, I think he just like to take orders from you in bed. I sure the hell would!
     
  4. HardRocker

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    Maybe he has writer's cramp.
     
  5. lbushwalker

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    Or maybe he simply intentionally withheld movement just like CL said herself; it drove her ape crazy with tease and to the point of screaming. I do that sometimes but eventually and ever so slowly start moving which then can make the woman use some very naughty words indeed :)
    Then again males are not known generally for their multi-tasking skills!
     
  6. Barbwire

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    I talked to my hasband about the lovemaking session I started this thread about. When I mentioned my frustration at his lackadaisical fingering technique he gave me two different reasons. He said he wanted to try something new and that he was tired from working so many hours.

    I think the latter reason was the truth and the former was him trying to save face. Or maybe it was the other way around. Who the heck knows?
     
  7. Hot Wheels

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    This has been a continuing saga during the last 14 years hasn't it?.....
    How often have you told him what you like?.....dozens!!
    There's times when I feel he needs a slap up the side of his head you know..

    Given his occupation, maybe you could give him something he's familiar with, like a dildo cleverly disguised as a big whiteboard marker or something he's got a handle on using?.....I don't know.....but I can understand your frustration.
     
    #7 Hot Wheels, Mar 9, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2010
  8. Barbwire

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    Thanks for the tip on the white board markers. Maybe I'll try to arouse him by whispering tax code into his ear as I jerk him off, as well. :p
     
  9. Barbwire

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    Thanks to the bots I found this thread again.

    I love my last reply and am saddened I didn't get even a little giggle out of everyone.

    For what it's worth, I'm still working on teaching him but damn, he's a slow learner.
     
  10. Lucky

    Lucky New Member

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    Some guys just don't learn or are not natural at it. Would not be a problem if it were me, I take instructions to heart as I get off as much getting my partner off.
     
  11. HardRocker

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    :lol
     
    #11 HardRocker, Aug 17, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2010
  12. Barbwire

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    You da man! :tup

    You da man, too. :tup
     
  13. htoad

    htoad Active Member

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    Hang in there. He may be a slow learner, but as long as he is making progress that is a good sign. He might also be intimidated by your sexuality, which may be part of the reason he is a slow learner.
     
    #13 htoad, Aug 18, 2010
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2010
  14. cbrmale

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    think Lucky is right: some have the right attitude and approach and some don't. For both sexes, confidence is key. If you're confident, then you will effortlessly move from vanilla sex to something more exciting. My wife was a bit like CLs husband, and it was never natural or seamless. To improve that we worked both on what she could do, but more about providing a lot of really positive feedback to her. For example, the more praise she got with her oral sex to me, the better she got, until she is very, very good at it. Especially good given I'm a challenge. In any case, that's what worked for us, positive feedback and positive affirmation (I really love it when you lick the underside just so, rather than a set of instructions). And then, when she follows the hint, you moan lightly and tell her how good that feels, and how great she is! That's when the pieces should start to fit together.
     
  15. Marcpatrick

    Marcpatrick New Member

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    It's good that you are so patient with your partner. I'm not and have dumped countless lovers because they were unable to satisfy me (mentally or physically).

    I'm still kind of singlish. I suppose I am on a life-quest to find a woman who has the same passions in life as me.
     
  16. Barbwire

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    I can understand why you wouldn't want to hang onto someone that doesn't satisfy you mentally, but the physically part I don't get. Have you no interest in working towards making things better sexually?

    Seems to me your attitude is just making it easier for you to fail. *shrugs*
     
  17. cbrmale

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    You can encourage and teach most people to be better at sex, but I can understand why you would also not bother. I have had some mind-blowingly fantastic lovers, and our times together live in my mind as if they were yesterday. I could never, ever teach someone close to me to be as relaxed and intuitive about great sex; never in a million years.

    It would be truly beautiful to roll together compatibility and friendship with mind-blowing sex, but maybe that doesn't happen too often. But at least I reached good and sometimes very good sex, so that was something.
     
  18. Bobby9093

    Bobby9093 New Member

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    To be honest, you wouldn't have to tell me to do anything! I LOVE going down on a woman and using all the knowledge and talents I have to get her off. Not just once, but as many times and in different ways as possible. Making a woman cum is just awesome!:)
     
  19. pussydog

    pussydog New Member

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    every man is diffrent,some know what to do but some dont.but the best thing to do is talk to one another and open up ur heart and tell him what u want and him too we tell u.that way u ve a good luv life and be happy.we learn every day of our life so no one is perfet.