Lasting longer & pleasuring her

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Obsidian, Feb 15, 2013.

  1. Obsidian

    Obsidian New Member

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    Hello all,

    I have a bit of a problem in my sex life. I am young, 21. My girlfriend being 20. When we have sex, generally she never orgasms. I feel like its me being the only one getting pleasure out of this. Half the time when I finger her, she says it hurts and then its just a complete turn off from there and kills the night.

    When we do foreplay right, she gets turned on enough to where she just wants me to stick it in! When I do, BAM and premature ejaculation within a few minutes.

    Any tips to lasting longer? Different condoms? Position? I want to pleasure her, and for her to not be bored.

    We are having a mini-alone vacation tomorrow and I want to make things wild and like never before for her.

    What can I do to make things last longer, and be enjoyable for her to keep wanting more!

    Also, was maybe considering any additional things I should get to help with turning her on. Maybe a scented candle?

    Ideas are appreciated.

    Thanks!
     
  2. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

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    Scented candles, soft light & music all help set the scene and relaxes her (and you) but does not guarantee anything.
    Foreplay, foreplay and then foreplay with skin touch, hair, lips, breast play........patience get it?
    Then and only then go down on her pussy, tease gently with finger or your tongue and when she is very wet only then introduce a digit.
    Use it sensuously gently touching the side with particular attention to the upper roof.
    Never ever use you finger like a mini jack hammer.
    Eventually you may be able to introduce a second one if she is aroused enough.
    Use them in come here or walking action massaging against the roof of her vagina.
    Be guided by her reaction, she may want faster or slower.......ask her. Meanwhile go back with your tongue or other hand to give simultaneous attention to her vulva and clit.
    Try to get her to cum this way before penetrating her because once in your trigger is still way too light to give her time for much please but that will come in time as your experience increases.
    You got to learn to walk first before running so don't try mission impossible, initially concentrate on the basics of giving her pleasure before you grasp for your own.
    Don't believe any of the porn stuff that you may have been watching as it is all acting and not really anything like reality.
     
  3. Bronco48

    Bronco48 New Member

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    Take it easy and slow........slow and methodical........gently lick the outer lips and work your way in.....very very slowly! Listen, watch and feel her responses....when no response, go back to where you had one and take it from that spot!

    Easy does it and before long, you will be doing without thinking...just have to learn to read your honey's responses and what she likes and does not like.....each are different but you will find some actions universal! Good luck and.....SLOW DOWN!
     
  4. Anotherday

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    like others have stated above, slow and steady stimulation with mouth and fingers. Don't get carried away. Slow and sensual unless she asks for you to "turn it up". If you are cumming too fast (wish I had that problem these days) you can concentrate on giving her pleasure first then pop for a quick one, or simply cum and then get started over again. At 21 this shouldn't be a problem unless too much alcohol.

    And also you state that when she tells you something hurts "it kills the night"

    I wonder if this is from your response to her telling you she doesn't enjoy something. If so, don't get upset when she tells you something doesn't feel right. She's not saying you are a bad lover or that you don't know what you are doing (even if you don't). Ask her what DOES feel good and don't be intimidated by allowing her to teach you how to please her.
    Now, there's the strong chance she may "clam up" and not want to really respond.

    The more two people trust each other in aspects outside of the bedroom, the more they can truly open up to each other. Imo, if you can manage it, let it all hang out and truly get to know each other if you are going to be in a relationship.

    Relax and have fun man.
     
  5. fetishmeup

    fetishmeup New Member

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    First, let us address your problem of ejaculation when you turn her on or try to turn her on. May be you are new to sex. If this is so, you can go for the second round after ejaculation. Both would enjoy it to the core in the second round. As I assume you are new, second round is not a big deal.

    Coming to arousing her, fingering and licking would go a long way. When you see her aroused when you touch at the particular part of her body, you can go round that place for a while. For your info, the area around the nipple. around the breast, behind the neck, earlobes, buttocks, between her thighs would arouse her immensely.

    I would recommend you to go for some safe adult toys like electrostimulation, vibrators for beginners, etc. This would spice her up certainly. Try it and enjoy.

    Though this post is 5 days old. This may be useful for you after your vacation.

    All the best.
     
  6. redics_girl

    redics_girl Active Member

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    try a tight but not painful cock ring, they make several different kinds.