Lads, have you ever had to perform when you didn't feel like it

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by sarah_rslp, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I will sometimes have sex even when I don't really feel like it. In the past I've been absolutly gagging :drool for a shag and expected my SO to do the business. On one occassion I was pretty stinking, I hadn't showered in 2 weeks, and the location wasn't the greatest. All in all the situation was a big turn off for him. It was a bit of a struggle for him but he performed like a star.

    For women it's slightly easier if we're going to do a bloke a favour it just of going through the motions, but men need to get themselves aroused.

    So any thoughts?
     
  2. Dreama

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    I don't expect my husband to have sex if he doesn't feel up to it, so I don't have sex if I'm not feeling like it. I've always got my own alone time, and he has his. If I thought that he wasn't into it, it just wouldn't feel good, and I don't think I'd have a great time because he wouldn't be. So, we try to stick to times that we're both good and horned up. :)
     
  3. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

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    Of course! Why not? I derive great vicarious pleasure from seeing my girl have a good time! She'll do me the same favor should the roles happen inversely! Rising to the occasion to meet the need of your partner is an important part of LOVE!
     
  4. igor

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    There has never been a time when my wife wanted sex that I wasn't more than ready to accomodate her.
     
  5. AndrewD

    AndrewD New Member

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    I can always pony up and I'm always willing. I may just need a jump start.

    Here's my thought. How often do we have a hard time deciding what to eat. We're not sure we're hungry and nothing really sounds good. Then, when you finally decided to have a meal, it turns out to taste great and you really enjoy it. As long as the food is good......

    Sex is the same. You just have to be willing to make the effort.
     
  6. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I agree with a lot of what you said it's important to make the effort, but have there been some occassions when you just really weren't in the mood for it and had to make more of an effort than normal.

    With the original post I was just curious about how hard it is for guys to make themselves get an errection on demand.
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Poor Thorn :ugh

    When we were trying to get pregnant with our 2nd child, we were having a little trouble, so I went to the 'ovulation/body tempurature' method of knowing the perfect time to conceive.

    I remember it vivdly, as it was a very cold February morning - about 5 AM. I grabbed my thermometer, saw that the time was right, so I said, (with absolute authority :lol ) "Honey, you need to make love to me ... NOW!!!"

    He never let on that what used to be fun was becoming a 'chore'. Being the A.M., his normal 'woody' was there, so he was able to use the tool - but I'm not too sure his head was in it.
     
  8. Thorn

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    A man's got to do what a man's got to do. :lol
     
  9. JS1980

    JS1980 New Member

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    Unless I'm dog tired, I'm usually up for sex. If I'm not, moderate stimulation of my penis for five minutes will definately get me interested in having sex.
    With her, it's a different story. Sometimes I can seduce her by sucking her nipples and eating her out. The have also been times where I've eaten her out for 20 minutes straight and she's barely wet from it. Both situations have happened with her both awake and asleep. And, wow, the sex is great if you can successfully seduce a woman while she's sleeping. It's amazing.
     
  10. cook74

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    I was going to say a similar thing but then I thought of Sarah's comment: "On one occassion I was pretty stinking, I hadn't showered in 2 weeks":eek :lol I couldn't imagine that in our climate. So I would definitely stay away from my partner if she missed her ablutions for that long.

    My partner showers at least 2 times a day (I keep to just once). Coming from a European background I know where you are coming from but that is almost unheard of all the way down here in OZ.
     
  11. Barbwire

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    OK, I'm doubting she was really asleep. Are you sure she wasn't passed out drunk, or pretending to sleep?

    I just can't imagine sleeping when a man has his head between my legs. Nope, NO WAY!

    Oh, and on topic...

    When he says he doesn't want to, that's it, no sex, period. I have ways of taking care of my needs, so feel no need to pressure him into having sex if he isn't into it.
     
  12. cook74

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    The word seduce just somehow does not fit if she is asleep :uhh:
     
  13. AndrewD

    AndrewD New Member

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    Speaking for myself; not too difficult but my girlfriend will have to help, not just make a demand. I'll need more foreplay and maybe extra attention down south to get it going. If my girlfriend was to initiate something and start fondling me, I'd be hard in 2 minutes even if I wasn't originally in the mood.
     
  14. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Don't be a dick:eyes

    At the time I was in the army and on exercise. I used a 12 hour stand down to hook up with my bf and future hubby. So I had a very good excuse for being stinking.

    By the way how long has austrailia had running water?
     
    #14 sarah_rslp, Jan 18, 2008
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2008
  15. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Yup...

    ...don't EVEN bother me when I don't feel like. Just let me be. Respect my feelings and my privacy and come back later. I am not a machine. I have emotions. I have other things going on besides some thoughtless and selfish desires for sex on demand, whenever YOU feel like it. Just be understanding and patient and everything will be fine.

    I've gone as long as 30-35 seconds to get in the mood. Once, it took nearly a minute, but I was asleep when she started invading my privacy.
     
  16. Barbwire

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    Holy shit, that was the MOTHER of all burns! :bow
     
  17. cbrmale

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    Getting aroused isn't too hard for most men, unless they are really physically or mentally exhausted. I've had sex many times when I wasn't in the mood, countless times in fact 'cause I had a long-term low-level illness that drained my libido. But I continued to have regular sex because I enjoyed it once it started, and my wife deserved it too.

    This is the trick with men, I think. Even if we aren't in the mood, we know that at the end it will be good and well worth the effort. Younger men, up to fifty, shouldn't have too much trouble performing. As you age it gets more difficult, but if it becomes a problem then there are ways to work around that issue these days. Relatively low cost and reliable most of the time.
     
  18. Thorn

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    I once had a one night stand with a foriegn lady. The 1st and maybe 2nd screw were maybe willing and voluntary by me, but the 3rd, 4th, & 5th were, well let's just say, "I had to perform when I didn't feel like it."
     
  19. Bluesy

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    That's the reason why I never bugged my ex-H for sex when I was in the mood and he wasn't (I had the higher sex drive). I respected the fact that he was an individual with his own set of needs and hormonal fluctuations...not a robot I could program to perform on cue. He also appreciated my patience and understanding :)
     
  20. cbrmale

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    When you are in a relationship, hopefully you learn to match each other's sex drives. To some extent, the lesser-sexual partner will give from time to time: but too much and too often creates resentment, and there is no point in 'making love' when your partner is not even close to that space. So the higher-sexed partner should learn that curbing his or her desires actually leads to a better outcome: lesser sex but higher quality.

    But a couples libidos are seldom in synch, so the less sexual partner may need to make an effort graciously from time to time in order to keep sexual and relationship harmony. Give and take from both works best.