Ladies, Help! -- Anal sex??

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Hope80, Aug 21, 2007.

  1. Hope80

    Hope80 New Member

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    Have any of us ladies out there tried anal sex? How well did that go over? I've tried but...prob #1 - Cant quite get it in....prob #2 - Once we actually did manage to penetrate me, but i felt as though i had to take the biggest shit of my life :lol I truly mean it...We've only managed to get it in once and since...its absolutely the worst pain imaginable...We've tried relaxing and taking our time...using lots of lube...Are there just some of us out there that arnt meant for these types of endeavors?
    Its really not a huge deal for my s/o and I but i would just like to know if im the only one who cant manage it?
    :ugh
     
  2. Bluesy

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    Yep, there are some people who just haven't got a body designed for anal fun. We're all a little different, anatomically-speaking, and it's one of those internet myths that if you just do this or that, it'll feel good. Or, another favorite, "You aren't doing it properly, that's why it doesn't feel good!" :eyes But, by all means, if you're interested in anal play, don't give up immediately. Most people need to gradually dilate the anus over time before they can engage in painless, enjoyable anal sex. You can do this by purchasing a small (some stores call them "beginner's") anal toy, whether that be a plug, probe, wand, and, personally, I'd go with something that vibrates because anal massage feels exquisitely lovely when you're in the mood. *happy sigh* It's always good to preface anal sex with an activity that's going to loosen the sphincters, anyway. And make sure you use plenty of lube (NO desensitizing lubes) on that toy.

    The one thing you never want to do is continue with penetration if there's any pain whatsoever. Anal sex is a high risk activity and nasty damage can occur if you aren't careful. Stretching the anus too much, too quickly can damage the sphincters, and a tear in the rectum (the membrane is thin and susceptible to injury) can lead to problems with infection, which will lead you to the hospital for surgery, because once infection sets in that's the only way to repair the damage.

    Read up, make an informed decison to participate in anal sex: http://www.talksexwithsue.com/analsex.html.

    Good luck to you, be safe, and have fun!
     
  3. Hope80

    Hope80 New Member

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    Thankyou for your input, Bluesy! I really doubt this is for me...We tried it purely out of curiosity...It wasnt fun @ all...Plus we're so grossed out at the thought of seeing any poo on the condom (i refused to not use one in case of dirtying him) ewww...Just the thought...We never tried again and i doubt we ever will...Just not my cup of tea...We'll stick to whats tried and true :eek:
     
  4. Bluesy

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    Having a BM beforehand should take care of the poo problem...but I think you should do whatever you feel comfy with. I think that ideally a woman's going to get into it because she enjoys anal stimulation and over time feels the desire to keep upping the ante, so maybe she uses a plug rather than a finger, or a slender vibe, and then one day she's so turned on and loving the anal play so much that she begins craving penile penetration... That's the way I think it would probably work out best. A lot of women are turned off of anal sex forevermore because they jumped into it without dilating the anus, without knowing the pleasures of anal play, and I think that's a real shame. I don't think it's a good idea to experiment with anal play with the goal of having anal sex, though...because one doesn't necessarily lead to the other.

    I'm rambling now. I'm glad I was able to help out a bit, at any rate :)
     
  5. korax82

    korax82 New Member

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    Make sure you have a good BM within a day of trying and also try just having sex a few times with anal beads or a small butt plug in just to get used to the sensation. A bit of vaginal/clitoral stimulation could help you relax a bit and not think about it as much. These are just a few pointers that work for women I have been with.
     
  6. Bluesy

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    This is good advice, but, you know, if a woman doesn't really want to have anal sex, if she has reservations and is pretty much just going along because her partner wants to try it, she's never going to be fully relaxed and aroused enough to enjoy it. It shouldn't be something you have to distract yourself from ("A bit of vaginal/clitoral stimulation could help you relax a bit and not think about it as much"), it should be something both parties are eager to try. And if one party is hesitant, it simply shouldn't be done.
     
  7. korax82

    korax82 New Member

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    I halfway agree with this but I find that a lot of people are just scared of the taboo that is anal sex and if they could just let themselves go a little they might find they enjoy it. Then again there are those who just dont like it and never will and no they should not feel forced into doing it for the sole benefit of thier partner, that is a one sided relationship and is not good for anything because one party ends up feeling used.
     
  8. deckard_cain

    deckard_cain New Member

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    Good thread, just had to stick in my two cents on it. Been pondering the idea, but, all in all, seems like too much work for a passing interest, especially since it wouldn't be something we'd probably stick with. The idea is kind of nasty, no offense intended to those who practice it. Thanks for this info.

    :tup
     
  9. sdfilter

    sdfilter New Member

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    Bluesy, your comments are spot on. I've always been a bit annoyed by the internet myths around this one. It seems that whenever the subject comes up, you get someone chiming in with the "if you don't enjoy it, you're just doing it wrong" comment. I've never understood that.
     
  10. gabriela

    gabriela New Member

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    Yes, often. I love it. I think the trick is to have lots of stimulation beforehand (licking, fingering, etc) so that you are totally relaxed with the idea. At that point, I am usually begging for it and can't wait to have the whole banana! :eek: And take it very, very slow--do not force anything. Once you get there, yowsa! What an orgasm!
     
  11. NaughtyKnickers

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    I agree with gabriela. This kind of sex can be amazing and feel incredible, like nothing else, but you HAVE to be in the right zone of arousal, both mentally and physically.
    You should WANT it BAD, or you shouldn't be doing it at all. It really isn't something a person should do with half interest.

    That being said, something so personal and intimate, that feels so uniquely good for both partners can be very special and intense when both parties are in touch with their own, and each others bodies.

    You must be in touch with each other and willing to openly communicate how things feel, especially at first. No faking, no lying, no feigning interest, no rushing.. you have to be wholly honest with yourself and one another, or things aren't going to be enjoyable for both. To me, that level of intimacy adds a whole other pleasurable dimension.
     
  12. Bluesy

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    Oh, NK and Gabriela, you ladies have me craving anal sex now! :drool I have yet to try it, but I do love my butt plug...it has a 3" girth (at the widest point) that really fills me up, but I feel like I'll be ready for something a bit larger before long...Used it earlier tonight along with my vibe, and I do get a very intense orgasm that way :brow
     
  13. gabriela

    gabriela New Member

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    Oh, Bluesy! From your posts, I have no doubt that you would just LOVE it!!! As NK said, you must be very in touch with your partner and he must be very patient and let you direct how fast on the initial insertion--make sure you are in a position where you can be in charge (traditional doggie works just fine, or spooning). Push back against his cock and take him bit by bit... maybe 1/4 to half an inch at a time. Your ass will respond and open naturally. This can take several minutes before you can take the whole thing. At some point, you should feel everything relax and be able to easily start some back and forth motion... slowly at first... then faster and longer strokes. After you get the muscles to relax, it feels soooooooooooooooo good! There is absolutely nothing better! My bf usually reaches around and plays with my clit at the same time, which makes me almost instantly orgasm. I often swat his hand away just so I can enjoy the feeling that much longer! The orgasm is EXPLOSIVE!
     
  14. Buffalo204

    Buffalo204 Member

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    I'LL help. Do you need a volunteer???:dgrin:dgrin
     
  15. NaughtyKnickers

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    I forgot to mention this in my previous post...

    As a newb to anal, you might like to try it laying on your back, with your legs pulled up, and a pillow or two beneath your backside to elevate it.

    We had never tried this position because I just love the feel of being in the doggy style position and so does my SO, but actually, in this position his cock went in much easier, and required less focused relaxing than doggy style sometimes does. And as a bonus I could easily rub my clit as well. The orgasm was more intense than when we've done it in doggy, too.

    You might find this a good position to try if you're having some trouble getting started.
     
  16. Bluesy

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    So you'd like to deflower my ass, eh? Hmm, I'll bet a sexy older gent like yourself is a proficient ass fucker :D :brow

    This is how I put my plug in (minus the pillows)...it works a treat!

    Oh, I'm getting there (to being anal-ready, that is). My plug and I have come a long way... At first I couldn't get it in, period. Then came a time when it went in smoothly but was extremely uncomfortable. And now it feels good (real good!), but whenever I'm finished with it my bum feels like something's been in there for a while afterwards; it's a pleasant sensation, I like it, but I'll bet that sensation would turn to pain if the plug were any larger :ugh

    I look forward to the day when a cock-sized object makes me scream with delight :D
     
  17. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    I tried it once when I was younger and my experience was quite similar to yours. It didn't hurt so much as feel like I needed to take a huge dump. Unfortunately, by boyfriend at the time really liked the feeling and wanted to do it all the time. He was totally oblivious or completely unconcerned about that fact that it gave me absolutely no pleasure.

    Personally I think that any guy who is thinking of asking his girlfriend or wife to take it up the ass, should be willing to take it up the ass himself at least once before hand. :) That way he'll have an idea of what it feels like.
     
  18. Barbwire

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    That is the ultimate pick up line. May I use it?