Lades have you ever kicked a guy out of bed?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by sarah_rslp, Mar 3, 2008.

  1. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    In another thread I mentioned a rather bad sexual experience I had several years ago. I had gone to bed with a guy I knew from work. As a person he was fairly tightly wound a little aggressive (which I like) I'd known him for about a year and I would have said he was a good guy or else I wouldn't have brought him back to mine.

    We had hooked up at a function and one of the reasons he'd managed to pull me was that he was fairly sober and coherent. Anyway in my room we stripped off I went down on him I put a condom on him then it all went tits up. Even though he'd gotten hard when I went down on him I could see he was struggling to keep his errection he was trying to maturbate himself with his hand and the condom was putting him off.

    He wanted to do me from behind which was fine but he kept using his fingers on me which was starting to become uncomfortable. Anywho when he did try to penetrate me he was only semi hard so I stopped him, then I noticed the condom had come off. Which seriously pissed me off (I should have chucked him out then). I stayed pretty calm and told him if he wasn't up for it that wasn't a problem but that he had to leave.

    Anywho he insisted he was up for it so we tried again he went down on me for a while (which if you're gagging for a shag isn't what you want) wanking himself while he did it. He Put a rubber on and tried again. He lost his hard on again but kept trying to put it in, then he lost his temper ripped the condom off and gave me an angry look. At which point I just flipped, I hit him told him to get out and just started screaming. He kind of hesitated so i called the girls in the next room and told him he was kicking off.

    Anywho I know as you go through life you have some shitty sexual experiences and I actually count myself lucky that that's as bad as mine have got. So anybody else ever had to ask/tell a guy to go away
     
  2. heelfetish

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    So the guy has ED problems, and you think the solution is to physically assault him and then kick him out? Wow.
     
  3. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Oh here we go...

    If you read the whole of my post you'll see his failure to get an errection wasn't the problem.
     
  4. heelfetish

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    So he gave you an angry look, likely in response to your lack of patience and compassion regarding his ED issues. In return you assault him. Sounds fair.
     
  5. cook74

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    When I was younger and regularly using escorts as a means of getting off there were plenty of times that I was too wasted to actually keep up (I'm talking about once in every 20 visits or so). The escorts were really helpful and tried their best, but when that 30 minute mark came, or the hour was up...it was "sorry baby but ya gotta go".

    Thank God none of my real lovers have been so pushy.

    Can you imagine a guy kicking a girl out of bed because she didn't perform to his standards? Or can you imagine a thread started about a guy that just couldn't put up with sub-standard sex with his female partner, so much so, that he had to just tell them to get lost?
     
  6. heelfetish

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    Double standards are wonderful, aren't they Cook. *sigh*
     
  7. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Yes I know I lack patience, compassion, I'm negative judgemental etc etc

    I gave as accurate description as I could of what happened. Basically the guy thought he was entitled to get angry at me because he couldn't get it up. He also thought he was entitled to remove a condom I had just put on him thinking I wouldn't notice and that he could treat me as some sort of inanimite blow up doll he could paw and manouver to make it easier on himself.

    And when I asked him to leave he thought that was a subject for debate. So feel free to empathise with him all you want.
     
  8. heelfetish

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    I can only comment on what you have posted. And sorry, but you're painting a much darker picture of yourself than you are of him. It sounds to me like you were the one treating him like a blow-up doll. Men aren't sex objects any more than women are. Treat a man with respect and you will get the respect you seek in return.
     
  9. ctown75

    ctown75 New Member

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    A lillte over reaction?

    may be i do not get this,but this poor guy can not get a hard on and you you think its a major issues.The guy goes down on you to try to get YOU off and you were still not happy and all the while he is jacking himself off so he can get hard for YOU.I am sure he could feel your frustration which probably made it even worse,I do not understand why you did not give him head or jack him off then you both might have been able to get off which would have eased the pressure and you could have fucked later.

    When the condom came off and he kept going thats a deal breaker and out the door but soft dick not.
     
  10. Barbwire

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    Sarah, you had every right to be pissed off at him. He actually tried to put his cock in you after the rubber came off? What a fucking asshole he was! Good for you for giving him the boot.

    Now, as for your question...

    I have had my share of terrible sexual encounters, but I'd have to say one of the worst was after I'd been forced into anal sex. After the attack, I just crawled into a ball on the bed, and cried. The man left at some point. I wish I had been able to do something to hurt him back, but I couldn't. All these years later, I still think about it, and I've carried the burdon alone. Finally, about 3 nights ago, I told my husband, in graphic detail, the story about that night.

    It was a huge step for me, and in taking it, I am fighting back, in a way. It feels good, really good. :)
     
  11. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    But ah you haven't commented on what I posted (but it was quite a long post maybe it was a bit of a struggle) but rather than argue I can only hope other people read the whole thing.

    Anywho I did treat him with respect or else why would I go to bed with him. In many ways he's a good man he's done many things that I really admire. I think he formed a lot of attitudes to women from his surroundings. One of them being this huge sense of entitlement when it came to sex something which I think you share. At the end of the day if a woman tells you to wear protection or to stop doing something or to get out then you comply. You don't take it as a starting point in a negotiation. I got the sense that it wasn't the first time it had happened to him and he was used to throwing tantrums.And I'd prefer he threw it outside on the street rather than in shared female accomodation that I had rather stupidly brought him into.

    I'm sorry if I have a zero tolerance attitude to guys acting up when I'm in bed with them on top of me. I know a lot of women who are a lot more understanding of men and I'll be honest I don't think it's done them any favours.
     
  12. heelfetish

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    One thing I do agree with... He had no right to try and enter you w/o the condom. That part was not cool at all.
     
  13. heelfetish

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    I'm not arguing, I'm just trying to clue you in as to how you come across. If the issue was that he tried to have sex with you w/o protection against your consent, then make that perfectly clear in your post. I DID read it all, and I read that as only a minor point in your story.
     
  14. cook74

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    Now you see CL, I would be right there with the girl normally but...

    "Anywho he insisted he was up for it so we tried again he went down on me for a while (which if you're gagging for a shag isn't what you want) wanking himself while he did it."

    I think that, although what the guy did was wrong, this came after.

    Drunken men are fucken idiots at the best of times. And I don't want to excuse any reprehensible action. The way men behave in bed after they have been drinking heavily is often unsatisfying to both parties and sometimes horribly barbaric.

    But I think this post shows just who was in charge. Please correct me if I am wrong.
    If it was a hurtful experience for you Sarah, then I am truly sorry.
     
  15. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    It was only a minor point Look I wasn't that worried about the condom soldiers are dicks and constanly doing stuff like that it was my look out to check.

    But at the end of the day if you're in bed with a guy and he starts to get frustrated and angry then he needs to go out the fucking door. I'm sure 9 times out 10 nothing will happen but fuck his feelings.

    And as to why I was getting annoyed he knew he wasn't going to be able to perform but still wanted to be able to say he'd shagged me. I was under absolutly no obligation to share his pain about his failure to perfom. He could have left quitely (his staying over night wasn't an option anyway) and it wouldn't have been a problem.

    And on a completly seperate note I've never seen oral sex as a substitute for a shag. Guys in the past that have had trouble performing seem to put a lot of faith in it. The only substitute that worked for me was when a guy gave me this killer back massage which really hit the spot. (it was quite funny now I think of it he kept apologising. I was loving it and he managed it in the end so we were happy)
     
  16. Barbwire

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    This thread is about more than Sarah's story, you know. She did ask a question. Can we focus on the answer, please? I feel this thread can be something very beneficial to the SF community. We almost never discuss how a victim of sexual abuse copes with the after effects of the act.

    I'm interested in what people have to say.

     
  17. Dreama

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    Trying to have sex with you without a condom was out of line, but I think that the way you treated him, and the negative things you have to say about his ED problem is a bit harsh. It's not fair to belittle a person, because you don't think they perform exactly how you want them to.
     
  18. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I think it's quite strange that people can read the post and think the only thing he did wrong was take a condom off. Like I said guys do that more fool me if I hadn't checked.
     
  19. Barbwire

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    I hate to pick just a small part of post out, but this one point made a lot of sense to me. It wasn't and ED issue that put Sarah off, it was the guy's attitude during the whole episode. He made her feel like he was going to try to intimidate her into having sex, and she had none of it.

    Am I right, here?
     
  20. Dreama

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    CL, if that's the case, then I obviously misinterpreted the whole thing.

    Back to the point, I've really not had any bad sexual experiences. I've only been with two people anyway. I mean, my first time was reasonably uncomfortable, but not flat out horrific.