Kids Kill the Moment

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by BinghamtonNY, Sep 28, 2008.

  1. BinghamtonNY

    BinghamtonNY Member

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    We have little kids that we just admore, but after a day where they're especially cranky, hyper, or just well "kids" my wife seems to be totally not in the mood.

    She also admits that she needs time to transition out of "mommy mode" to get in the mood.

    How do I keep in her the mood for the duration of the day so she's just waitin' for it when the little ones go off to bed?
     
  2. FlirtyChick

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    Leave her sexy notes, and not just sexual ones. Tell her you appreciate all that she does to take care of the house, kids, you etc. Help her around the house and with the kids as much as you can. Tell her how beautiful you think she is, how sexy she STILL is, how good she smells. Rub her ass as you walk by, or give her a big bear hug from behind, kiss her on the neck, and slip her some tongue out of bed once in awhile! Put the kids to bed and suggest she take a long, relaxing bath while you do. Leave something sexy on the bed for her to wear, and light some candles. Best of all, be naked on the bed when she gets out of the tub....

    It is important to remember that she has been a mommy ALL day, whether she works or not. (Working makes it double whammy tough) She may need some downtime to read, or do other things that relax her. A good back rub also helps!! Good luck ;)
     
  3. Trixi

    Trixi New Member

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    In addition to what Flirty says, try very hard NOT to make her think that every time you touch her or compliment her you want to have sex. For some reason that can turn a gal off more if she's not in the mood in the first place. Sometimes it's really hard to get out of mommy mode. Do your best to make her feel feminine and desirable and, most of all, loved and appreciated for what she does.
     
  4. elonlyBuster

    elonlyBuster New Member

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    Try doing things you did back when you were dating.

    Get the kids a babysitter, call her up and tell her you're gonna take her out to a movie and after the movie just go walking on the beach (Assuming one is around). Pull into a parking lot and have sex in the car. And just to be cute when you get back home don't just walk inside, stop her at the porch and have one of those random talks kids have when they want a kiss but are afraid to go for it, and then when the kiss finally comes just stretch it out.

    Most women say after a few years of marriage they feel older, so make her feel young again.
     
  5. evman

    evman New Member

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    In my experience there really isn't much you can do. You can try what the others have suggested but don't get your hopes up. Men can make the transition much easier than women can. From my own experiences and from what I have seen on here, men often use sex as a way to relieve stress whereas a woman doesn't want to have sex when she is stressed. Try to be as understanding as possible, try to help her with the kids as much as possible to take some of the stress away from her and pick the right time to tell her how it affects you. My wife and I always try to go away from a night around our anniv. which eliminates the kid factor. Be patient, as the kids get older it will get better.

    Flirtychick recommended the sexy notes and rubbing her ass and some other things. That may work for some women but it didn't with mine. It just made matters worse because she knew I wanted it to lead to sex and she in turn felt pressured. With me it was a catch 22. If I didn't do enough to help she was stressed, when I helped more she said I was only doing it so we could have sex.

    Just keep loving her and ask her what you can do to help her out. Let her know that you still think she's sexy and beautiful and that you still have a desire for her. I know with my wife things that she did before we had kids suddenly to her became something a "mother" shouldn't do.

    Be patient and enjoy the kids because this time will be gone before you know it.

    Good luck.
     
  6. evman

    evman New Member

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    Be careful on this one. Neighbors of mine did this and there was a knock on the car window from a local police officer. He thought she was a hooker, arrested both of them with a sex offense. If found guilty they would have had to register as sex offenders and notify all their neighbors. It cost them a bunch of money to get the charged changed.

    Did the cop go overboard? Yes, way overboard. They were in a secluded part of the parking lot and she was giving him a blow job so it wasn't like they were visible. I still don't know how he didn't see the cop pulling up. Must have had his eyes closed enjoying the moment.

    The lesson to be learned here is, if you are going to get a blow job in your car, keep your eyes open in order to make sure no one sneaks up on you!
     
  7. BinghamtonNY

    BinghamtonNY Member

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    Thanks for all the cool ideas. A romp in the car sounds great. I can't remember when that happened last. But I'll heed your warning about the police, because......

    I did have a similar experience with an ex-gf when I was 18. She was 19 at the time (yes, and older woman!) and we parked on the grass of a highway and started going at it. Well, we were about to......The time was probably around 10-11PM and there were few cars around. Suddenly, we are startled by headlights behind us. A sicko of some sort? My heart was pounding as I scrambled to robe myself. Nope, it was the park police (not sure why they were there, though we were near a state park) I discovered as I rolled down my window after we both just pulled up our pants in the nick of time. "You can't park here," he stated with a rather monotone demeanor. "Ok", was my reply, and we left. I turned to my gf and said he probably was just jealous that I was gettin' some!
     
  8. heelfetish

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    This sounds so much like the predicament my wife and I are in right now. After our son was born, BOT our sex drives plummeted. But mine has returned as of a few years ago, her's hasn't. She has little brief periods of passion, but most of the time there's nothing but friendly affection towards me.

    I keep trying all these great suggestions, but so far nothing has helped to return the passion to our marriage for more than a day or 2. I keep working at it, in hopes that someday things will return to the way they once were.

    Hang in there! You're not alone!
     
  9. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Well, back to the subject...:eyes

    Yeah - kids can surely deaden the moment.

    A woman needs to feel she's beautiful... desirable... needed.... wanted.....

    All these things can only be given to her after the kids are sweetly nestled in their beds.
    -----------------------------
    Give her help in the "nestling" process.....Bathe the boys... night-time is a very special time for YOUR children. Settling them in for the night will add to calm and emotional stability.

    From there, you might get to enjoy erotic, sensual pleasure... the kind you imagined married bliss would afford for many, many years ahead.

    I had a hard time with my child-rearing yearing years. (Actually, I started to post that my child-rearing years were disasterous..."I'm so tired!....)
    Be the kind of husband and father that pours out affection and tends to needs at hand. When all the goodnight kisses are done, you can hold her close and re-affirm your passion and love - like a high-school lover.

    Bottom line - it's up to you. Make the moment the best you can. It's part of being the "man" in the family. She needs you now, probably more than you realize.

    Grandma Rose :rose