Keeping it new

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Shorty022585, Sep 26, 2007.

  1. Shorty022585

    Shorty022585 New Member

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    I have been in my current relationship for 1 1/2 years. I love him abd the sex is AWESOME!!!!!!!:tup It just feels like the romatic stuff has gone away. How do we keep the relationship not just sex like it was when we first started dating? How do we keep it new and fresh?
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Change surroundings..... surprise each other.... show up at the door when he comes home with an absolutely fantasticly sexy lingerie.... candles in every room...

    Creativity goes a long way. Pretend he is a brand new lover, then go wild with your ideas!!
     
  3. NaughtyKnickers

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    Rose is right! Creativity is your best friend in keeping sex both romantic and fun!

    Also, learn to really savor the details. Zero in on one feature of his that drives you crazy and think about nothing but it.. Dwell on it, smolder in that thought all day, and let him *know* you are doing just that.
    I find that when I savor one detail others become apparent and things build and build... It's a beautiful thing.
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    You said
    just start dating again, Bet you haven't dated Him since you moved in.
    Go out for dinner (not McDonalds) park in the moonlight
    and pet just like you did when you were dating.
    And a couple of beautiful Women just gave you some
    great tips. Follow them.

    Hiker
     
  5. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    Ok...

    ...she asked 'how to keep it new' and I think you can't. By definition. The suggestions offered were ideas to keep things interesting and that's great, but, I'd like to explore the question a bit more to see if she meant 'new' or 'interesting' and I don't think they are the same thing and I think it's important to distinguish here's why;

    'New' is new. Everybody, from the least romantic to least experienced to most jaded and most BTDT gets excited about new. You're on, presumably, your best behavior, your best manners and your most attentive frame of mind. That's new. It's exploration. You're learning about each other, likes, dislikes, discovery, fresh...new.

    'Interesting' is breaking routines. Routines are what people live their lives by, naturally, to have some semblance of order and control. Routine is what we get into in relationships, sooner or later, and 'interesting' breaks up routines which is nice because routines can get boring.

    Let's go back a step. Notice I didn't say 'fall into routines'. I said 'get' rather than 'fall' because 'falling into routine' has this huge negative connotation. I also didn't say 'must get boring'. I've played guitar a million times and one of the joys of it is the familiarity, the routine, if you will, of playing a given piece better and better over time. Making up new shit keeps it interesting as well, but those two things, in that context, are not mutually exclusive.

    Now, before I really go off the deep end, I'm curious if anyone thinks I'm onto something here or if I'm all wet about the distinction? I mean, women tend to complain about 'routine' and losing newness, so, what does that mean? My impression is that maybe we, people, are looking at it wrong in the first place.

    Thoughts?
     
  6. NaughtyKnickers

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    'New' isn't even something worth pursuing. A relationship can't flourish on deeper levels if you're always trying to keep it in its infancy.

    'New' probably isn't the right term. For if something is not 'new' in the scope of time, then it is by definition,.. "old" :) And a year or two long relationship isn't considered 'old' by any means.

    I think what she's referring to is "exciting". I've read many sex studies, polls, articles and the like, that reveal the desire of women to experience spontaneity in their romantic and sexual encounters, maybe spontaneity is more on par with what we're seeking(?)

    I think you are on to something, but as in everything it seems this is about *balance*. Being able to love both the kind of secure and familiar sex a long term relationship offers, and yet not getting stuck in a pattern where you are always simply going through the same familiar motions. That lacks passion. :ugh

    Our personalities all lend us to being either more or less routine oriented, and I'm guessing that also plays into a couples sexual compatibility, which is something to consider before making any very serious long term commitments.
     
  7. LPjammin

    LPjammin New Member

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    That's...

    ...a great point.
     
  8. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    I read the post, To mean.
    Take things back to where they were when they first started dating.
    Maybe that isn't the correct definition of "new"
    But I thought that was what she meant.

    And my advice was to go back their and do the things they
    did when they first started dating,

    Hiker
     
  9. NaughtyKnickers

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    Your advice was great, Hiker! :tup
     
  10. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Thanks.

    Hiker
     
  11. Shorty022585

    Shorty022585 New Member

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    I think you all hit the nail on the head. Thanks for all the input. I do mean exciting and I would like to change the routine.