Karma biting me in the ass

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by CruelTease, Dec 13, 2010.

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  1. CruelTease

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    I've been with my hubby for a long time, and started sleeping with someone else recently. It's over, I wish I hadn't, blah blah blah.

    I've just found out he gave me herpes. I've confessed to everything, hubby is being really great about it all. Much better than I deserve I know.

    I really feel like I've hit rock bottom. I can't believe how depressed I feel about it. I don't mean to point the finger as I know I should have been smarter but I'm so angry at him (the other guy). I know he didn't infect me on purpose, but I genuinely feel like shit. I feel like a dirty piece of scum, a stupid, diseased little brat.

    We've discussed it, hubby and I will be using condoms from now on. I've stopped taking the pill to make sure we always use condoms, before we'd give up, not liking the feeling and whip them off.

    No one seems to be able to give me a 100% certain answer to when I'll be contageous and when I'm not. Won't really be a big deal as we only had sex once or twice a month before.

    Anyone have any advice for living with this? When am I likely to pass it on etc?
     
  2. Mittimer

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    You're always likely to pass it on. Especially when you're having an outbreak.
    Herpes is always contagious when the virus is active, even if you don't see or feel anything.
     
  3. Texas_Red

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    I am sorry to hear this. Unfortunately this is one of the risks involved with such things. As for living with it and advice, I would use Google for info. The CDC website and Planned Parenthood both have plenty of info.
     
  4. backcheck64

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    If you were my wife, well, you wouldn't be anymore. Not just the STD, by cheating, you've proven youself to be the lowest form of life. You'd be out on your ass with just the clothes on your back.

    As far as the STD, you can, at any point pass it on. Even on medication, you can still pass it on. Condoms for the rest of your life, unless you hook up with someone else that also has the disease.

    I'd say Karma got it right and should keep on kicking.
     
  5. cowboyup

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    no symapthy here as i have been cheated on in the past and one of my exs even got prego and had other dudes baby. neeedless to say she was gone!!!!

    condoms no matter what for the rest of your time
     
  6. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    I'll let ya know
    This could happen to ANYONE,as herpes stays dormant in some people for years before they realize they have it.1 in 6 people supposedly has some form of it.

    So don't beat yourself up too much...I know many people who have herpes and it does not effect their lives or sex lives much at all.

    You are more contagious when you first become infected,but after a few years your outbreaks will lessen in severity and amount and you will have less viral shedding.
    At that point the chances of spreading herpes when you are not having an outbreak becomes very SLIM.
    I know partners where one has always had the herpes and the other still doesn't after being together for YEARS.

    They have some good condoms out now too that allow you to feel more.
    It's not the end of the world...
    And for those who call you the lowest form on earth,God forbid they should ever slip up!
     
  7. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    Hey ya'll if you cant say anything nice, don't say anything at all. If you actually completely read her post , she wasnt asking you what you thought of her action, she was asking for advice.
    Why make her feel more shitty, that is not very nice.
     
  8. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    Exactly! Who are you to Judge her??
     
  9. Hot Wheels

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    X 3.....:ugh

    We all make mistakes people!......and there's not a member here who hasn't made a bad decision at some point in their lives.
    CT has come to us for advice, not to be judged.....so back off with the negative comments ok.....:mad


    This comment by Dark Jewel is correct......
    You are more contagious when you first become infected,but after a few years your outbreaks will lessen in severity and amount and you will have less viral shedding.
    At that point the chances of spreading herpes when you are not having an outbreak becomes very SLIM.
    I know partners where one has always had the herpes and the other still doesn't after being together for YEARS.
     
    #9 Hot Wheels, Dec 13, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2010
  10. lbushwalker

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    Hi Cruel Tease, I'm with HW, Awaknen & DJ on this too.
    Sorry to hear it happened but the worst is over now.
    Time to take stock and look ahead.
    No such thing as Karma in this; nobody wanted to hurt anybody and a disease is just that.
     
  11. johndeeregirl

    johndeeregirl New Member

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    I'm with HW, Awakened, DJ & lbushwalker on this one.

    You made a mistake, you know it & you didn't come here for opinions, you came here for facts/advice..

    truth is.. he may not have even known he had it.. some people carry diseases for years without any symptoms and herpes doesn't just come across on your normal STD check - if you aren't having an outbreak, they can't diagnose it (or at least that is what I've been told from the dr)
     
  12. backcheck64

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    Mistakes yes, adultry is not a "mistake", it's the ultimate betrayal. You can't do anything worse to your spouse. Then add the threat of disease. Her question was addressed, use condoms from now on. I have a friend who's husband cheated and gave her herpes. Not only is she dealing with the disease, she can't emotionally handle a relationship anymore.
     
  13. DarkJewel

    DarkJewel New Member

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    I'll let ya know
    @ backcheck64,some may think "nailing" chicks for "sport" is pretty low to.Wasn't it you who said you did that?
    Not everyone's marriage is as black and white as your idea of it seems to be.
    Crueltease was honest with her husband about what she did,and he is forgiving her.
    If he can do that,then there should be no reason for you to call her names as her situation does not effect you.
     
  14. CruelTease

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    Harsh words from some random on the internet can't really make me feel much more like dirt than I do, but thanks so much for trying to kick someone when she's down. There are a lot of things about my situation that most of you have no idea about, like his cheating for example, but none of that matters. I don't care what you think of my relationship or what I did. He has forgiven me, that's what counts.

    Thank you very much to those who stayed on topic, offered advice and kind words of support, including the very sweet PM I recieved. The worst is over, once these flu like symptoms clear up I'm sure I'll feel a lot better.

    I know this really isn't the end of the world, it could be a lot worse, it just feels so god damn awful right now.

    I'm going to see my doctor this week to find out about suppressive medication, as the clinic only gave me something to take for the first outbreak. I hope to get some answers from him.
     
  15. young_gun_91

    young_gun_91 New Member

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    If he cheated on you as well, it could have just as likely been him that got the STD. So don't feel too bad about that.
     
  16. lbushwalker

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    Everybody remember; it could be you in this situation just as soon as your next sexual encounter.
    CruelTease has been very brave in sharing her experience with us so at the very least respect that fact!
     
  17. Northside

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    Good luck with it. Sounds like your hubby forgave you. Backchecks condemnation doesn't mean squat. None of us are perfect, so don't beat yourself up too much. I count myself lucky to have never contracted a social disease. i had a lot of caarelees fun in my misspent youth.
     
  18. lovn_my_bbw

    lovn_my_bbw New Member

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    sorry to hear your bad luck, can happen to the best of us, well your life isnt over yet, hope he understands the consequences.
     
  19. CruelTease

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    Thanks again folks. I'm starting to feel a bit less awful about it. I really appreciate the member who messaged me offering support, as another who has it. Feeling like I'm not alone really helps.
     
  20. loveit247

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    Have you two not looked at getting out of the toxic mess your relationship has become? I would really consider it if you are both cheating. Nothing good comes out of it as you have now discovered.
     
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