Just need to talk about this

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by AGFUNK, Aug 14, 2012.

  1. AGFUNK

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    So my husband I guess has just decided to stop going to school. He's stopped doing anything really that doesn't involve his game, work or sleep with the occassional sex when I initiate.

    I've given up with talking to him. His mom is still trying to get him to do housework and she doesn't know about his school. He's not listening to her either. He's just completely ignoring us I guess.

    He's logged out of his email on our computer so that's how I know he's done with school. He feels the need to hide whatever they are sending him from me. We're likely going to get the bills from the loans within the next month or so.

    I guess I just need to be able to just talk about this since he won't and it's hurting me deeply. I don't understand how he just doesn't care.
     
  2. Mittimer

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    What do you want us to say love? I know it's a very hard situation but there isn't much that can be done. I remember you talking about this a few weeks ago and I'm sorry, none of this is ever easy.

    Have you told him how much this is hurting you? You are too young and beautiful to allow someone you love to treat you in such a way that makes you feel like you do.
     
  3. AGFUNK

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    Not sure there really is anything I want anyone to say. I just don't have anyone to talk to who will listen without yelling, etc.

    I have told him that it hurts and upsets me that he won't help around the house, talk or go to school. I guess it doesn't really matter to him since he's not doing anything about it.

    Mostly I just thought that talking about it would help at least in some way.
     
  4. OverSinged

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    You could always put a boot up his ass *shrug*
     
  5. Mittimer

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    Well then vent, darling. We're all mostly good people and are here to listen. There will be no yelling. I think most if not all of us are "on your side" in this matter. There are only so many excuses we can give him before he runs out of room.
     
  6. AGFUNK

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    Honestly all of his excuses became null and void when he said that he needs sleep. I get around five hours of sleep a night, go to work everyday, do the dishes everyday, do laundry, clean the room, including picking up after him every single fucking day. I don't know how many times I've had to tell him to clean up after himself.

    I have done everything I could think of to do. I've trying talking, tried giving him space, got him on anti depressants like he wanted, let him sleep, giving him more sex, and the list goes on and on.

    I love him to pieces and would do anything for him but I'm at the end of my rope. I keep telling myself that it will get better once we're out of this state.
     
  7. 12barblues

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    Every once in a while, I make a decision, or handle a situation poorly.....I usually know right away that I, well, fucked up. But if someone askes me about it I usually get defensive and will argue with them, even if I know they're right.
    I guess you could call it being macho or whatever. We as men don't like to admit we screwed up.....
    I have to assume that you married him because he was a good man....and maybe he just needs a little time to fix his mistakes....how much time you give him is up to you of course, because you can't live forever feeling like you do right now.......we can all see how frustrated you are tho, and I hope it all works out somehow ..
     
  8. 12barblues

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    I just read your last post.....and wow....sounds a little worse than I thought....maybe " doing anything for him" has enabled him to do " nothing" for himself.......I'm sorry for your situation.....
     
  9. AGFUNK

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    Great just thought about what you said bb. I could very well be enabling him by doing everything. The only problem is that if I stop doing everything it will never get done. *sigh* Which means that this could keep going on for a long time.

    I probably just need to get a hobby to keep myself busy so that I don't think about all of this that much.

     
  10. 12barblues

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    May I dig into your personal life, and ask if you are the dominant personality in your relationship? Do you make most of the decisions ?
     
  11. AGFUNK

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    I guess I am. Although most of the major decisions have been his. Like moving from wisconsin to texas was all him. Once he decided to move there was no changing his mind. It was either go with him or stay and live with my mom.
     
  12. MILF_Rider

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    A blog I read had a list of attributes for what is termed as a red pill wife, so without getting into that I thought this particular one is worth quoting:

    15) Understands the risks both men and women take in having serious relationships, and is willing to negotiate ways to verify trustworthiness in each other. Sees doing this as evidence of true commitment rather than an insulting invasion of privacy.

    Point being - this is nonsense hiding secrets.

    This is an early start down a road to resentment. He needs to fix himself. But that's for him to do.

    Do what you need to do for yourself, and if he doesn't catch up then he's going to get left behind.
     
  13. AGFUNK

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    Well this afternoon when I woke up he asked me how I was feeling and he apologized for not paying more attention to me. Then he rubbed my back a little. I think things might get a little better. We shall see I suppose. I'm going to go hang out with him at work now since I can't sleep.
     
  14. boobjob

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    He is possibly so scared to dissapoint you that he doesn't want to come clean. Very hard to admit failure. Sounds to me like a guy who needs a new start. I think you have to decide whether to start over with him.
     
  15. AGFUNK

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    Dear god I have hit my limit. We have all been asking my husband to take out the garbage for a few weeks now so it's just been sitting there. Finally today I got fed up and decided to take it out myself since it was still sitting there when I got home from work. Mind you I have only had an hour and a half of sleep, went to work and still have lots to do around the house before I can sleep. He was up all day playing his fucking game.

    I went to take out the garbage and do the laundry when I saw it.

    Hundreds of maggots inside the trash bags. HUNDREDS.

    I nearly had a panic attack taking it out. I used bleach, lysol, washed my hands and took a shower after but I still feel horrible. There isn't words to describe that.

    So I'm going to wait until after I pick him up from work and I'm going to have one last talk with him. Everyone one else cleans and works. There is not one fucking reason that he can't take out the garbage.
     
  16. lbushwalker

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    Garbage and toilet ; minimum of man's job :yell
     
  17. almostthere

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    Dump em. When he sees what he fucked up he will come back with his tail between his legs
     
  18. 12barblues

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    A couple of weeks? Are you kidding me? He sits and plays video games in the living room while maggots are hatching in the kitchen? And you're still with him because....?
     
  19. a_high_bitch

    a_high_bitch New Member

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    I would have left that bitch the moment he said he was quitting school. Thats a sign that he's gonna sit on his ass all day and waste electricity and yYOU are gonna wind up with the bills. AND it also shows lack of commitment.
     
  20. OverSinged

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    Hey! high bitch, I think I kinda sorta remember you...

    Did you have some sexy avatar or something? I've a feeling that's what got lodged in my brain