Just looking for info to help situation.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by b1t3m3, Aug 29, 2006.

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  1. b1t3m3

    b1t3m3 New Member

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    I am a 27 year old male, I have been with my girlfriend for the past 9 years. I have been successful in my career and consider myself to be a very stable person. My problem is my sex life. I have not had sex in 2 and half years, an unfortunately I can count the number of times in the past 5 years we have "5" We do other things, mostly I perform Oral on her. I have tried to get her into Mutual Masturbation, but she pulls the embarssment card. Recently she has come to like anal stimulation when I perform oral on her, but I really desire real actual sex, am I wrong?
     
  2. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    No, I don't think you're wrong. What is the "general" reason for lack of intercourse? Embarassment? About what, exactly?
     
  3. b1t3m3

    b1t3m3 New Member

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    fear of pregnancy is probably her #1, but in the past we take double precautions, she takes the pill, I wear the Condom. I believe that the fact that she has gained weight also plays a part. I try my hardest to let her know that she is beautiful. She also claims preoccupation with her college studies so that she can get into her career. I try to tell her that I really do not believe it is normal for two twenty-somethings in long term relationship not to have an active sex life.
     
  4. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    How far apart are you two during the school year?
     
  5. b1t3m3

    b1t3m3 New Member

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    14 miles, definetly not the issue. We used to live together and this was still a problem, I moved out partially because of this but mostly the cost of fuel. Most of the time these days we only see each other once a week, I kind implemented this hoping that it would spark a sexual interest when she did see me, didn't work. Most of the time when we do the oral thing, I really have to ask almost to the point of begging. Sometimes we will go weeks with seeing each other a couple of times a week but she will avoid any sexual contact, currently it's been appx 3-4 weeks since I last gave her Oral.
     
  6. melicious

    melicious The Old Maid
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    I think it's time for a serious heart-to-heart.... a "lay all your cards on the table" conversation. It's gonna be hard... but it does sincerely sound like it's time.
     
  7. bunnycat

    bunnycat New Member

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    melicious is right, but the weight gain needs to be discussed also. when I gained weight it hurt my drive .. a lot.
     
  8. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    A 9-year relationship, without sex (for all practical purposes) is definitely a problem that needs to be dealt with. There's something going on inside her, maybe even SHE doesn't know what it is.
    But sitting down and getting some sort of discussion going is the only way she's going to start to deal with it. And I would suggest you initiate the discussion without expecting to resolve the matter in one session. In other words, don't expect to get pussy that night ;).
    Be patient. you've got alot invested in this relationship. If sexual counseling is something she is open to at a later date, that would certainly be a positive.
    Good luck!
    :rose
     
  9. pirouette

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    9 years with that little sex is not a romantic relationship. She sounds more like your best friend. And I have to agree with the other posters here....weight gain kills the sex drive. And you begging (even if it is just for oral on her) probably just sounds like the average horny guy begging for any form of attention sexually. For me, that's a big turn off. I had that discussion a long time ago with my husband. I'm sure you have made attempts to tell her how beautiful she is at any weight. The problem is, she doesn't believe you. Been there.
    I would have the "big talk". And if she is willing, seek professional help. However, if this is something she isn't willing to do you need to discuss breaking up. You would be happier and healthier with an active sex life. And it sounds like she would be happier without one. To each his own. I know that sounds a little harsh but it isn't as though you spend a lot of time together to begin with. I hope things improve for you soon.
     
  10. MikeDog

    MikeDog New Member

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    Wow. I agree something has to give unless you are willing to live with very little sex.
     
  11. Motley Fan

    Motley Fan New Member

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    QFT "Quoted For Truth"
     
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