Just got out of a 6 1/2 year relationship.

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by wht1zzfe, Jan 30, 2012.

  1. wht1zzfe

    wht1zzfe New Member

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    I'm more confused and angry than sad/depressed. I actually don't feel sad at all, not sure if that's a good or bad thing after that long. I posted a few months ago about finding a pregnancy test at her house and told her it's still bothering me. Eventually came down to me telling her it's going to take time and if she can't understand and accept it, then we may as well end it. She did.

    I think what's upsetting me is the fact that over the past few months she has treated it like no big deal. No sex for around 4 months and finding that IS a big deal to me. Told me she hadn't had her period and she was worried, and just before we ended things told me that, "As a man, I wouldn't understand that a woman can be pregnant and still get her period." Kind of conflicting it seems like. There are some more little things that have happened over the past few months. I'm not trying to skew this in my favor, but this is one of the only times where she has come off even remotely bitchy. I'm proud of myself for being firm and just laying it down for her.

    Guess I just want some input or insight. I actually feel kind of good, liberated even. I'm a pretty shy, nice guy. I don't see myself going out to a bar to try and pick up somebody. Probably going to be a while before I get some sex :p Still, it's kind of fun wondering how I'll meet the next one.
     
  2. backcheck64

    Gold Member

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    4 Months wasn't a while anyway? More than 4 days and I get pissy. I think you know you're better off without her and were wasting your time and that's why you're fine with it. And if you want to, you could get laid tonight. Plenty of women out there.
     
  3. kinda_hung

    kinda_hung New Member

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    Lol. 2 days and I'm getting the itch bad. 3 days I'm kinda getting upset. By the 4th day I'm pissed!
     
  4. hoonos

    hoonos New Member

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    I'm looking the very next day. It was weeks before with my ex.
    In fact, I've scored more in the last two years than I did the previous twenty.
    The OP is only now beginning to see the light.
     
  5. 12barblues

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    look at the positives here, you have your whole life ahead of you. you're only 25......i spent 30 years with the wrong person....you figured it out after only 4.
    with each lesson learned in life, we get a little closer to understanding what we need. and / or what we will tolerate. now when you start your next relationship, you have a better understanding of what you "need" to be happy. and , of course , YOU have to be happy to be able to make HER happy.

    You're young, have fun....and take your time....she's out there somewhere...

    and listen to more blues music, everything goes better with blues....
    oh, and always brush after every meal....
    and, never, ever, run with scissors....
    ok, that's all i got....
     
  6. wht1zzfe

    wht1zzfe New Member

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    Hmm, this may have came across wrong. While the lack of sex does bother me, I can live with it. It's not what sparked my thoughts of her cheating (we have never had tons of sex). I don't know if I'm being paranoid or if they're reasons to be legitimately concerned. I'm very inexperienced with all things about relationships and wonder if I'm just making mountains out of molehills.

    She tried to mess around with me the entire 3 days after I initially asked her about the test. Feeling guilty or just trying to make up? We see each other twice in December and mess around and she turns the lights off. She leaves on New Years Eve to go back to Houston Because she has to get ready for work (she's a teacher)... Plenty of time left before the kids had to go back to school. She also for pulled the, "We never get to see each other" card, which in her case is complete bullshit. I have made it ABUNDANTLY clear that I will make the trip to see her anytime she wants. She works her self to death with rehearsals for these high school kids and yells at me for us not seeing each other. It just seemed like a desperate move.

    Do you really end a relationship that old just because you don't like that your SO doesn't trust you? Seems like most people would understand why he doesn't and take the time to work it out. I hate not being able to just get a straight up, "Yes, I slept with somebody" or an honest, "No" and the real reason she had the damn pregnancy test in the first place.

    It's been about a week and still no sad feelings, just confusion and anger at how this all played out. It's frustrating knowing that I'll probably never get the closure I want.

    Honestly, I think I'm just being a bitch and want somebody to tell me I was right in my questioning her in the first place >>
     
  7. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

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    'Stralia Mate!
    Right or wrong you will probably never know but nonetheless I think that you are the one who killed the relationship.
    Now move on dude...............
     
  8. backcheck64

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    If you don't trust her, you don't have a relationship...move on.
     
  9. Stimpy

    Stimpy New Member

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    She cheated on you, plain and simple.

    Move on as fast as you can. I don't mean find another woman asap, I mean put her out of your head. If you care to stay friends on the surface, be just nice enough. Ignore her calls once in a while. If she suggests doing something together say you have plans (with another woman) even if you don't.

    She will regret her poor choice and it will eat at her for the rest of her life. (unless she is a true heartless bitch that doesn't care about anything, and you are better off without anyway)
     
  10. Alwayslearningsex

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    I congratulate you for standing up for this.
    There IS a chance that after the anger goes, sadness will come.
    Not to make it lesser or trivialize it, but my advice is to ride it, recognize and accept it, you will be stronger, and sooner too if you don't deny your sadness, just don't go on the roof tops about it, don't be a drag either.
    Telling you from experience, not same as you but going through my own shit. I am a shy guy too and I was surprised one time to meet someone who wanted to be with me and I said to myself the hellif I mess it up, I made mymove and it worked. Better than never trying.
    Whether you want something long term or short, be nice how you do.

    My last advice / lecture, if you see a red flag, pay attention to it.
     
  11. mattman52

    mattman52 New Member

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    Been there. Experienced that pain. Move on. It's the healthiest option. You will get laid again. I did, and I'm ugly! haha :p
     
  12. Alwayslearningsex

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    used to work with a real ugly guy. Yet he always had someone.
    It's not always the looks as you are proof of that.