Just another accessory for her pleasure

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Nobody, Mar 17, 2007.

  1. Nobody

    Nobody Member

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    Sometimes I feel like an accessory to sex rather than part of the main event. I can't explain it really, but I can try.

    When I'm with a girl, she's the main attraction for me, I'm happy to be with her, she's my focus, and without her it's not sex it's masterbation. I want to please her, her enjoyment is something I preoccupy myself with. But to me, I feel like this sentiment is rarely mutual, like I'm well, just another sex toy.

    Here's an example. The other night plans were made to have an evening of fun, and everything seemed to be going well and it was exciting to anticipate what the night would bring. But when the time came it seemed to me like she was more excited about the lingerie she was wearing than having me there.

    A lot of times I feel like I am generic guy #3, like it doesn't matter who I am or if I am found attractive, ect. yadda, yadda. After all I'm just there to help get a job done, but I'm not necesary... after all she can please herself anytime, but it's nice to have me around so that someone can see her pretty things.

    I've felt this way with more than just one partner, and over more things than just lingerie. I don't know how to explain these feelings.

    Is this making any sense at all? Does anyone else feel this way, or know what I'm talking about?
     
  2. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Mr Nobody
    Sounds like you need a big dose of the thing we call LOVE I
    think that would change everything for you.

    Hiker:sf
     
  3. girljo

    girljo New Member

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    I don't disagree with bighiker, but I think you need a bigger does of self-confidence. You have felt this way with more than one lover, your screen name is a huge reg flag and your signature doesn't say much about your opinion of yourself. All very sad.

    Listen, the likelihood of any of these women just strutting their stuff for their own pleasure is low. I think they strut for their ego but to please you and to get feedback from you. Have some faith in your desirability, your love making skills and your overall charm.

    And if you can't get past the fact that women don't invite you into their bedrooms for the sole purpose of putting on a show... create your own fantasy while you are there and image that they are trying to woo you. Think Cinderella where all the woman in town had one night to make the prince choose them. She is working it for you!!!!!!!!
     
  4. bighiker2003

    bighiker2003 Banned

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    Agreed, Girljo.
    I did start to say something about your user name.

    Hiker:sf
     
  5. girljo

    girljo New Member

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    What about my username? No good?
     
  6. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Nobody, I really think it's a compliment to you for these women to get all dressed up for your 'encounters'. It's part of the primal 'sexual dance' that a woman displays - - wanting to allure you with her beauty. Enjoy the dance, give her the nod of approval, as it is very much a part of foreplay.

    And... Not to put words in bigHiker's mouth, but I think he was agreeing with you and he was referring to "Nobody's" screen name, not yours, girjo :)
     
  7. Miss Kitty

    Miss Kitty New Member

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    Unless there is love in the encounter, BOTH of you were just sex toys.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    Men are not good at indirect hints and using body language, so straight up might help. Verbalise what you desire in the nicest possible way. In other words, if you don't ask, you probably won't get.