Judgements from the same sex

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by sarah_rslp, Dec 28, 2007.

  1. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I know everyone is constantly being judged on their bodies by the opposite sex but what about the same sex and I don't mean this in a homosexual context.

    I a few months ago I bought my sister in law and her equally chubby friend to the gym in an effort to get in good with the in laws.

    I just wore a track suit to the gym and wasn't wearing any underwear, cause my work out kit was there and I had a clean set to wear after. my sister in law had ignored what I asked them to do and just come in tracksuits.

    So they stand their looking at me in the changing room while I'm getting changed. Then she starts lecturing me about needing to wear a bra while I've got my sports bra in my hand. I'm the very model of patience. At that stage it hadn't occurred to me that I also shave my pubes and don't have a tan line.

    Anywho The workout didn't go so well mainly because she was lazy and couldn't understand the need to get your heart rate up and sweat rather than bimbling on the thread mill and watching the tv.Although her friend in fairness was more interested.

    In the locker room afterwards my in law discovered the shower was open plan, and didn't want to be naked in front of other people, so I said fine I'd shower first then stand outside and ask everybody to wait. although her friend did shower with me.
    We were going to dinner afterwards and waiting to shower at home wasn't an option.

    When i got out of the shower my in law was changing into her fresh clothes and i just flipped (i'd been the picture of calm up untill then) I told her she was walking home unless she showered and that she was getting into the shower. the words 'dirty minger' were mentioned

    She started welling up and we had a bit of a barnie but she did agree to shower in the end, and i did stand outside asking people to wait.

    anyway my hubby and I talked about it that night and i agreed to apologize, for a quite life, which I did.

    A few days later my hubby mentions in passing about how he'd prefer if i didn't shave my pubes anymore, I put two and two together went schiz and hubby and I had our first proper arguement. I knew before that my shaving my pubes made him uncomfortable but we had the conversation and we settled it.

    So i was about to make hubby an only child,but eventually calmed down. But she has a big mouth and with a smalle circle of family it didn't help my reputation any.

    So has anybody else being sized up for their body or how they keep it. like that. I know women are bad but men can be almost as bitchy I hear.. or as usual is it just me?:ugh
     
  2. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Thorn initially wanted me to shave.

    After I did, he enjoyed it for a while - then HE decided he liked it natural.

    Guess what? I decided that I liked it shaven. I sooooo totally liked touching my soft shaven area, and feeling the lovely, delicate soft skin.

    I found that owning my own body - pubes and all - was an ownership that i SHOULD maintain.

    In conclusion, he is happy just as I am happy. (and he loves knowing I am touching that soft, smooth erogenous zone) :brow
     
  3. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    What I'm curious about is not how your fella regards you shaving, but how everybody else does. Say like me all your friends and family have somehow found out you shave, how would they regard you, and how would that affect you?
     
    #3 sarah_rslp, Dec 28, 2007
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2007
  4. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    :ugh I'm not prone to dropping my drawers at family gatherings (never been that high, frankly :lol)

    So..... My private area is for me and my man - no one else. Period

    I would hope that you don't feel any compulsion to allow your naked body to be public fodder for discussion, as it's TOTALLY between you and you SO. Period.
     
  5. Bluesy

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    Well that's unbelievably rude :ugh

    Ah, just ignore 'em, is what I think. And never share anything with these ladies (for lack of a more appropriate and insulting word :eyes) that you wouldn't want to share with the whole world from now on. They don't seem to have much, if any, respect for privacy and personal boundaries.

    Btw, whenever I hear a woman say something judgmental/derogatory about another woman's body, or women's bodies, it makes me cringe. I have no patience, or tolerance, for small-minded cattiness...it speaks of insecurity and envy and other psychic ugliness. *shudders*
     
  6. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Actually they were in the locker room cause they were following me.They were a bit lost, being two fat people in a gym. They weren't actually checking me out, they were putting their stuff in lockers when I got changed they couldn't actually help noticing.

    Could I state again the whole purpose of this post was to ask if people have had times when they've been criticized for their bodies by the same sex. In my case another woman saw me naked and took exception to a few things.I tried to illustrate the point with the incident that got me thinking about all this, but things seem to have gotten a little confused
     
  7. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Hun, it is NOT just you. Those women have no business in what you do to make your body feel more sensual to yourself. For the life of me, I am trying to envision anyone insinuating that I should somehow change my image (public or private) for their satisfaction?

    Still, after reading your Original Post (and after our PMing about this matter) - you have nothing to be ashamed of or to feel obliged to change. You and your SO have dealt with this matter. It is of no concern to those outside of you and him.

    This is matter for you and your SO to discuss and agree upon. And to hell with "auntie blahblah, and gramma blahblah..."
     
  8. Bluesy

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    Well, truly, they shouldn't have been looking closely enough to notice that you're shaved. It's proper etiquette to keep your eyes averted or else look a person in the eyes when they're naked and speaking to you. I just get the impression that these two really have no consideration for others' privacy, and this is evidenced by their blabbing about your shaving preferences.
     
  9. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    To be honest I didn't really notice them checking me out, and is kind of obvious from a glance if you're shaved. I check other women out in the shower to compare, and if its a mate i might even make a comment.

    What pissed me off wasn't that they noticed but that they mentioned it to my husband later.
     
  10. bricolage

    bricolage New Member

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    That was really strange behavior on the part of grown women. As other posters have said, the women were out of line on several counts. And obviously your husband ought to analyze the degree to which he's willing to allow his family to influence him.

    As for men, I have been in public showers many times and that sort of behavior has rarely happened as far as I remember. Criticism of another man's body would warrant a punch in the face or some other form of swift retribution, equal to or greater than the severity of the criticism (with no possibility of an apology later.) But since that seems universally known and because it never happens (unless the guys are good friends and are just joking around, of course...seen that more than I care to)--it would be so unexpected the man would probably think the criticizer is a blatant mental deficient who requires no additional commentary. Yea...that's been my experience anyway heh.
     
  11. Bluesy

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    Yeah, that was a really tactless and low-class thing to do. It's very understandable that you'd be upset.
     
  12. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    I need to clarify again. :nerv I don't just tap women on the shouder in the shower and go nice boobs but your arse is showing the cellulite.

    I have made comments in the past to friends on their bodies at appropriate times (usually compliments) which have always been well recieved.

    Do you never compare one mans body to your own?

    And as for my husband he's never been a fan of certain things i do, his sister knew that which is why she tried to embarress him into annoying me.
     
  13. bricolage

    bricolage New Member

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    I actually can't remember doing a comparison--maybe I did when I was younger but I don't remember. I've heard that a lot of guys do. But I personally have not. I was part of a para-military organization and public showering was common. The only commentary I ever heard expressed publicly was one of the guys in my team was Italian and apparently had pale olive skin that appeared green in untanned areas.... They jokingly called him "The Jolly Green Giant."

    Another clarification: I don't mean commentary on another person's body in public showering is a necessary evil or always bad. If said in the right context with a trusted person then it is ok.
     
  14. cbrmale

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    Most men when they get to within a decade of my age - awful! I keep my eyes averted, because all that fat and no muscle and out-of-control body hair is such an ugly sight.
     
  15. dazed-confused

    dazed-confused New Member

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    I've played on various sports teams (purely hockey these days) and the only time guys compare in the showers is joking about dick size and abs/muscles. Other than that, no one really comments... most is in jest.
     
  16. Dreama

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    Your hubby's family seems very inconsiderate. Nobody should be talking about how you like to groom yourself privately. Do what you want. You've not done anything wrong.
     
  17. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Okay enough about me how about from the lads. Say you have body pierceings, no tan line shave your pubes how do other men react or how whould they react do you think?
     
  18. cook74

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    In the change rooms at my work, tattoos are about the only thing we discuss about each others bodies. Apart from a couple of wolf whistles (in jest) and a couple of "are they your wife's knickers?" type comments.
     
  19. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Well whether or not do you ever look at another mans body and make a judgement.
    Do you compare it to your own favourably or not. Say you saw a mate that had shaved his pubes what would you think?
     
  20. cook74

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    I would be surprised to find out that heterosexual men care or notice that kind of thing...:shrug