Jackass long ass vent thread

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Ice Cold, Jun 6, 2007.

  1. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    [FONT=&quot]Disclaimer, This is a looooong venting thread.

    My "girlfriend" (i use the term loosely as we have been having lots of problems lately and mutually decided to take a break that neither of us stick too) has been acting like a huge selfish jackass lately. Gradual shit like complaining about my lack of coordination (im clumsy) and picking fights over lil things and taking way more than giving.

    Today shit just hit the fan. Last night she wanted to try something new, and she felt that i was rejecting her because i questioned her request. I was hesitant, but i would still try it anyway, but she got so upset at my ONE question, that she killed her entire sex drive for the night, which in turn kinda felt like she was rejecting me, because I was still trying to initiate some type of action. I woke up this morning hoping that things would be better, but when i went to cuddle with her before i got up for work, she tells me that she needs her space. I give her her space, and we eventually start argue/discuss what happened last night.

    Before i leave we do have some warm tender moments of cuddling and kissing. As i get dressed, i notice the shirt she was so excited about and volunteered with joy to clean for me because i got a few grease stains on it, has two huge bleach marks on it because she left it sitting with Shout on it for 2 weeks. This in itself wouldn’t be a big deal, i would've been upset if i lost the shirt but I would have gotten over it, but this is just a long trend of her not caring enough about the things she does, or tells people she will do, and it really sadden me. I have to wear the shirt anyway because all my other dress shirts are at my place, and that is the only clean one. I am still upset about my shirt, but I lean over her half sleeping body to kiss her goodbye as I won't see her for the rest of the week. She barely mumbles goodbye and rolls back over, making me feel extremely loved at that moment. As i leave she ask me some random question, and i respond with very little enthusiasm in my voice. She ask me what my problem is, and i say nothing, as what my problem is, I'll get over before i get to work, and its not worth discussing right now. She says whatever you liar in a nasty tone and i snap back, “I'm glad you know.”

    I leave and work half way through the day and get a call from her, I answer hey babe, and she tells me not to call her that and from there on, its all downhill with her accusing me of things that i clearly didn’t do or say this morning and being mean and rejecting her last night. Nothing is resolved in the convo and we hang up. SHe later hits me on IM and we have this convo:
    [/FONT]
     
  2. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    Her (1:48:44 PM): hey
    Me (1:48:51 PM): hey
    Her (1:49:05 PM): i would like for u to stay here 2 nite
    Me (1:49:45 PM): i want to but im scared we are just gonna argue
    Her (1:50:01 PM): yea u should prob just stay out there
    Me (1:50:35 PM): your not goin home today?
    Her (1:50:50 PM): cant b/c i have to take the test tomorrow
    Her (1:50:55 PM): probably
    Me (1:50:59 PM): ok
    Me (1:52:01 PM): i do want to spend time with you tho
    Her (1:52:17 PM): some other time
    Me (1:52:29 PM): ok
    Her (1:52:37 PM): i guess
    Her (1:52:45 PM): what did u have in mind
    Me (1:53:14 PM): same ol nothing new
    Her (1:53:25 PM): huh?
    Me (1:53:39 PM): just hanging out watching tv half a J
    Her (1:54:01 PM): when, i was going to smoke 2 nite
    Her (1:54:09 PM): did u ask rick about the other half
    Me (1:54:46 PM): no i was gonna call omw to ODU
    Her (1:54:56 PM): oh ok
    Me (1:56:12 PM): please dont smoke that without me, we didnt get much and i want to enjoy too
    Her (1:59:39 PM): ok
    Her (2:02:00 PM): eric maybe we shoudl just chill once a week with ech other
    Me (2:02:32 PM): do u mean chill or "chill"
    Her (2:02:40 PM): huh
    Me (2:02:52 PM): hang out or smoke
    Her (2:03:07 PM): either or once a week
    Me (2:03:29 PM): ok
    Her (2:04:08 PM): you should come get the rest of your things teh next time that u come over, i just dont think this is working out
    Her (2:04:20 PM): you living here
    Me (2:04:52 PM): you just asked me to stay the nght, now your telling me to get my stuff? i understand what your saying, but why are you all over the place with your decisions?
    Her (2:05:27 PM): i didnt ask u to stay the nite, i saud i would like u here 2 nite, to hang
    Me (2:07:40 PM): cant i just leave some stuff there? i will spend the night on occasion, its almost inevitable
    Her (2:08:21 PM): sure, but i would like to make that an exception instead of the norm
    Me (2:08:31 PM): ok
    Her (2:08:51 PM): are u coming to smoke 2 nite?
    Me (2:09:22 PM): im not coming to smoke, im coming to see you, and i dont know
    Her (2:09:29 PM): whatever
    Me (2:11:16 PM): what do u want?
    Her (2:11:39 PM): i would liek to smoke 2 nite, so in honor of your request come over
    Me (2:14:00 PM): Im not coming up there just to smoke. I want to spend quality time, good time with you. I dont want to fight or argue and i want to be sure that you really wanna spend time with me
    Her (2:14:17 PM): so just come to smoke and it shoud be fine
    Me (2:15:38 PM): can i stay the night?
    Her (2:15:56 PM): sure, but i dont want to be intimate or have sex, i need my space
    Me (2:16:28 PM): if you need your space then why ask me to come back?
    Her (2:18:48 PM): i dont have a problem with u staying, but i dont want u to get upste b/c i reject the intimacy
    Me (2:21:52 PM): well i dont think i will come back then, you ahve to study, and you dont really seem like you want to have much interaction with me, so ill just stay out here
    Her (2:22:11 PM): okay, but im going t smoke
    Me (2:22:41 PM): please dont
    Me (2:22:43 PM): i dont have a lot
    Her (2:22:50 PM): I or we
    Me (2:24:19 PM): I. theres not a lot and i dont get to smoke as often as you, can you please just leave me the option of smokin the rest with you?
    Her (2:24:40 PM): i put money towards that as well
    Me (2:25:25 PM): you put 10, and we smoked together 3 times, is it really fair that the person who put forth the least gets the most?
    Her (2:26:17 PM): no not at all, but iwas just saying that i have put money towards that as well
    Me (2:27:13 PM): ok
    Her (2:27:58 PM): well heres the deal. i have to study, so if i smoke less than half, and leave the rest for you, is thata problem?
    Me (2:30:27 PM): go ahead
    Her (2:30:36 PM): cool
     
  3. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    Me (2:32:43 PM): Her (1:49:05 PM): i would like for u to stay here 2 nite
    Me (2:32:50 PM): why would u say that if you didnt mean it?
    Her (2:33:13 PM): eric, i understand that u dont want to come b/c i dont want to be intiamte, buty that is how my attitude will be everytime that we hang out, hugging yea, but anythning other than that i really would liek to keep away from
    Her (2:34:31 PM): im sorry i said the word stay, i should have steayed away from that word
    Her (2:34:43 PM): ultimately i would just like to hang out
    Me (2:36:53 PM): you cant keep being intimate and then saying you dont want to anymore. I know we are trying to spend less time togehter, and i thought thats what we are doing, but keeping the intimacy. If you dont want anymore intimacy you have to decide that for real. The back and forth is not really fair and is very confusing
    Her (2:37:44 PM): i relaize how that is confusing and i apologize, but i have made my decision'
    Her (2:40:25 PM): please dont try to sway me from it
    Me (2:42:13 PM): ok
    Her (2:47:27 PM): I really would like for the both of us to jsut do our own thing'
    Me (2:48:51 PM): ok
    Her (2:49:15 PM): how do u feel?
    Me (2:51:07 PM): i feel very confused. i thought we were gonna do our own thing, but the way it is presented now seems very forced and like your mad at me or somethin
    Her (2:51:33 PM): I am upset with you
    Her (2:51:46 PM): but that wasnt the driving force behind that,
    Me (2:52:22 PM): why are you upset with me
    Her (2:52:24 PM): i feel that we tried the whole "press onward and hang out" but its not working and we need to just do our own thing
    Me (3:04:51 PM): ?
    Her (3:07:36 PM): the whole last night thing, and the fact that you dont have any understanding. you just said that i gave up you dont undserstand that i felt rejected. you also dont have any courtsy for my space, you couldnt even out away the chips, or throw out your soda.
    Me (3:13:06 PM): I didnt eat the chips and both of us crashed last night, so why are u holding that against me?
    Her (3:13:40 PM): u couldnt have packed them away? u were up at the comp??
    Her (3:13:44 PM): fuck the chips
    Me (3:14:18 PM): Im not gonna see you for a few days, and i wanted cuddle with you and make love to you in the morning and that means i dont respect your space
    Me (3:14:32 PM): that blanket is small as shit and we both kept tuggin on it when were tryna give space
    Her (3:14:52 PM): space in referecnce to my room
    Her (3:15:10 PM): as in you dont respect my space b/c u leave ur shit everywhere
    Me (3:15:28 PM): u said u dont care about that, and i try to clean up after myself
    Her (3:16:15 PM): clothes, but other than that can u please fucking pick up after yourself
    Her (3:16:26 PM): im not a maid or your mother
    Me (3:16:46 PM): what the hell, im sorry i left my soda out
    Her (3:19:13 PM): u know as wel as i do that the soda is not teh main source of my ange
    Me (3:19:21 PM): I dont know what it is
    Me (3:19:28 PM): your just frustrated
    Me (3:29:23 PM): i dont know what to do or say anymore. i understand that shit i do frustrates you, but not this much. you must have a lot of shit buggin u outside of me, but i am your only release point
    Me (3:35:36 PM): well i have to get goin, i hope you feel better, i love you and i will talk to you later
    Her (3:37:19 PM): fuck off
    Me (3:37:28 PM): what was that for
    Me (3:37:32 PM): im being sincere
    Her (3:37:37 PM): so am i
    Me (3:37:55 PM): why u say that too me
    Me (3:38:14 PM): i have to go, goodbye
     
  4. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    SUMMARY OF CONVO: She flip flops with what she wants and tells me i should pack my stuff nothing is accomplished, we just anger each other more.

    I was really caught off guard when she told me to fuck off, i called her askin why i should fuck off and she says i don’t understand or care about her feelings, and that i don’t clean up around the room and starts cursing me out. Im supposed to be driving to an appointment at this time, and this conversation is making me get lost. Again nothing is accomplished, i get cursed out, i loose my temper and start yelling at her about how she is so inconsiderate and treats me like crap, because the whole time shes on the phones shes like make it quick im trying to go hang out with my friends to smoke. I get so frustrated that i tell her to just leave me alone and i hang up.

    4hrs later she calls me at my second job of the day, I’m tired, I got lost for an hour trying to find some damn building, and got stuck in DC traffic for 2 hours. She is tipsy, probably because she couldn’t find any weed, asking if her and her friends can smoke the rest of the weed that I bought the other day. We got ripped off, our connect tried to say it was some good shit, but it wasn’t. we ended up paying 3 times what it was worth, but I wasn’t gonna try to get justice, because we were buying drugs, and getting ripped off comes with the territory. Asking to smoke my shit, and trying to get me to get more shit is her priority.

    No hi, how are you, none of that just straight for the weed. I didn’t care about the weed when she asked me about it on IM, i was just trying to see what she really wanted, me or it, and if she would be considerate enough to leave me the weed i paid 50$ and got ripped off for. She has enough free time and opportunities to smoke almost twice as often as I do and I really wanted to enjoy that last bit with her, so I tell her no, but I call back our dealer because I am still compelled to help her. I tell her what he said but she keeps trying to gently persuade me to give it up till i just say no, your being mad selfish and im really offended by this. shes tells me fuck you and i just say whatever and hang up. At this point im am super distraught and just feel like saying fuck her and this relationship. This is the worse shes ever acted, but lately she has been more and more selfish. I know that we need to seriously spend some time apart but its really hard. When we are not fighting, i am in heaven with her, and she used to do so much for me, now its the opposite, only I still do a lot for her. I don’t do things for any reason other than I love her, and would give her the shirt off my back. when she IMed me and asked me to stay the night, i melted and forgot everything that happened that morning and desperately wanted to comply, but my brain kicked in and told me to be hesitant. This shit is really hard and frustrating, I know i should either break up all together or just give each other some serious space, but i am still open for other suggestions or words of support. thanks for sitting through this.

    I know this story makes us sound like weed heads, and truthfully we partially are, but, it is what it is, I got no excuse for it.
     
  5. HouseHunny

    HouseHunny New Member

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    Cut her loose. She is walking all over you and seems to only get close to you at her convenience. I know it must be hard, but you have to do what you have to do to make sure you keep yourself guarded. Just by telling you to fuck off was very disrespectful to you. During your whole IM conversation it was very obvious you were trying to make things right and just be be happy again with each other. Cut her loose. You will only get more depressed if you don't do this now and get it over with. She will take your self esteem with her....
     
  6. vampire raver

    vampire raver New Member

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    I think you might be able to do a little better, no offense to her or your relationship

    But it seems like you really care about her and she doesn't feel the same way
     
  7. Bluesy

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    I agree with VR and HH. To the curb--*kick*.
     
  8. indagroove

    indagroove New Member

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    Get away from that !
    Live is short and she's sucking the life out of you.

    She want's one thing from you, and that's her weed. She will use pussy to get it.

    Still your choice, but see it for what it is ....
     
  9. InSaNe

    InSaNe New Member

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    someone who can change their mind that many times in that little time has some serious problems and you need to get out before you are dragged down by them even more!
    if you want to work it out... you will need a serious break. no contact at all for a week to start with... if the probs are still there try a month... if after a month and nothing has changed for the long term i'd be saying good bye. sorry.
     
  10. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    Thanks for all the advice, I am not ready to throw in the towel yet, but I am take a few giant steps back. She hasn't ever really treated me with such disdain, I know for a fact that her life isn't were she wish it was, so I know I need to just fall back till she gets back on track, then hopefully we can see if there is still something there. But until then, I will just have to be apart from my boo. :(
     
  11. BluShrtVigilanT

    BluShrtVigilanT New Member

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    In the immortal words of ICP...

    You needa shut your stuck up mouth
    Cause your pussy aint worth the walk to your house


    :lol

    In all seriousness, drop the bitch, she clearly doesn't know what she wants. Drop her hard, and drop her fast, and don't forget to give the finger and grab your junk on the way out.
     
  12. BiBiBaby

    BiBiBaby New Member

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    So, my advice, take it how you want...kick the weed to the curb. I understand lots of people do it and its not terribly unhealthy. But it is a drug, and it does mess with the mind. I think it could be messing with your relationship too

    Not to mention its one less thing to fight about right? who gets more?
     
  13. Jane948

    Jane948 New Member

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    If I treated my man like that I'd see my stuff out the door the next day. If she wants respect for her own space maybe she should have personal respect for you. I always say people and relationships are not disposable, I would not let her treat you this way one more day to be honest.
     
  14. Joe

    Joe
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    If you stick with this young lady you're going to be going through this same thing over and over. Not all women are like that. IMHO, you'd be better off to let her go.
     
  15. Ice Cold

    Ice Cold New Member

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    You guys really think that this is truely unacceptable behavior? Without a doubt, her actions are disrespectful, and not somethin i would put up with on a frequent basis, but this is the first time she was ever this disrespectful, and this is one of the few times she has deeply offended me. We have been together for 14months, and she is sorta at a low point right now, on top of us having relationship issues, so i can see where a lot of her frustration and bitchiness is coming from, but in light of this, do you still think shes way out of line, and i should really look at seperating?

    She never came at me like this before, but lately she has been on some other shit. I know relationships arent all happy happy joy joy, and i know how sweet and caring she can be, and i am just trying to figure out if this is a trail on the road to fitting together, or sign of the end of our journey. I appreciate all of your comments, and request that you keep on being as honest as you have been.
     
  16. Bluesy

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    Have you told her how offended you were? Maybe a heart-to-heart about her behavior would give you a clearer idea of what to do. Laying down boundaries is another possibility. You could tell her that you'll have to bow out of conversation any time you feel you're being verbally mistreated.

    I wish you well.
     
  17. tall_dallas

    tall_dallas New Member

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    The answer to your whole situation is simple.
    Your 22... she's prolly the same age or close enough to it that this statement still applies.

    Your BOTH too young to be putting up with this type of Drama and BS.

    Dump the Bitch and find you someone else...

    There are a ton more women out there that are more stable and not as 'mental'

    don't wait until your stuck with kids and a mortgage and such to find out that you won't be happy forever with her.
     
  18. austintx

    austintx New Member

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    Wow makes me appreciate the heck out of my marriage of 8 yrs with no cussing at each other.
     
  19. Joe

    Joe
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    "I know relationships arent all happy happy joy joy,"

    No, most aren't, but some can be if both partners are compatible and want it that way. My wife and I will have minor spats every year or two over something I say and she takes the wrong way, but in the four years I was with my late wife we never once had any kind of heated argument -- never once did either of us raise our voice to the other. I had to urge her to take a stand a few times when I sensed she didn't agree with something I said/did/decided. Arguing is good; heated arguments are not. Petty fighting is childish and there's no place for it in any loving relationship.
     
  20. SWEEETEEZ

    SWEEETEEZ New Member

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    Life is just too short for all this bitchin and moanin its over move on and find another booty