its not right

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Tech, Mar 29, 2008.

  1. Tech

    Tech Member

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    im an emotional type of guy, who is genuine, down to earth, knows what right and wrong is unlike the way society is these days.

    i had my first ever relationship, and think i done pretty darn good, with an older attractive woman (who is a mother...not my kids of course) unfortunately she turned for the worst for no reason in the end, all because she couldnt handle the goodness I gave her. it is upsetting especially after what she did and what she is doing at this moment (sleeping around)

    anyway, making love to her, holding her - everything was just perfect. she knew what I wanted, I knew what she wanted, you know you just didnt need to explain what you want, you could just read the mind and know what exactly they want and it works well. I felt so comfortable....doesnt matter what we did together, was comfortable and the best

    even though im still heart broken a few months on, some how by some miracle and my last (trust me on this, dont question) I have this other lady.... she is cute, tiny, very slim, attractive, .... really like her however i just dont feel comfortable having sex with her. Sure we did it a couple of times but still i dont feel right.

    its like, ive made love to someone else when i was in a relationship and shouldnt with anyone else bcos I "gave her" me...if you see what I mean. plus im not the type to sleep around, i dont do that and never have, never will.

    i just dont know what to do. everytime im "in the mood".... i then just turn off. its just, obviously, not the same.

    what should I do? :(
     
  2. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    You know first relationships can be a little intense and sometimes your views get a little skewed. You say she
    Well I couldn't really comment on the circumstances. But sometimes relationships end because they need to and if the other partner isn't entirely happy with that it can cause a lot of bad feeling. Especially as you mentioned she had kids so she had other people in her life that she had to take into consideration.

    The implication that society is somehow failing to meet your moral standards is quite an interesting one but lets not go into that. You've stated a lot of apparent certainties and if I was you I'd have a sit down and a wee drink and maybe reasess some of them.

    I've read through some of your recent posts and you seem to have lots of interests sexually so maybe you should work on broadening your horizons a little.

    Anywho best of luck.
     
  3. Tech

    Tech Member

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    not quite...but thanks. sorry but the whole thing about "relationships end because they have to" - thats the problem, they dont have to. anyway, im afraid you dont know the full story behind what happened and something i dont want to talk about, and dont want people thinking or saying things that arent true.....

    this is the other thing that just puts me off so much. anyway, i guess for some people its meant to be, for others its not...which is me. ah well....nevermind. Trust me, i have ALOT of experience, and say things I mean and think about things long and thourough before coming to some form of conclusion.
     
  4. cbrmale

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    Your opening sentence confused me, because just what is 'right' and what is 'wrong'? This varies from place to place and time to time. Come to my country for a couple of weeks to get a different perspective of culturally acceptable behaviour.

    My personal experience is the relationships that didn't work for various reasons left me with great memories (which I still cherish). More importantly, they set me up for the one relationship that is almost close to perfect. In other words I had to see what didn't work to recognise the one that was going to work in a way almost beyond description.

    I think there are many loveless (and sexless, which is a symptom of loveless) marriages out there, because people didn't break it off with the partner who was less than perfect. Instead they drifted into a life together, and that was the biggest mistake they ever made. So that's my advice, every failed relationship teaches us something.

    As to you, I think you need therapy with a qualified psychologist. The opening sentence concerns me, as does your inability to enjoy your current girlfriend for who she is. For sure it seems like you're not going to spend a life together, but why couldn't she be like one of those beautiful girls of my past? The ones where we shared going out toghether, and long conversations, and meeting friends, and good sex before eventually drifting apart with fond memories of each other.
     
  5. Tech

    Tech Member

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    sure i understand but unfortunately in the place I live, non of that exists. no such thing as marriage or LTR's - in all seriousness, and hurts because I have love and passion to give (not the sex part)....but cant do that because ive been "suppressed" because of the society these days.....

    even so, im not accepted by people. why? because of age, race and looks - no kidding. sure "your insecure", no im not actually. its just what people think and like...outcasting me i guess

    anyway, nevermind. Thanks though, much appreciated. ive accepted.... always have then thought there would be a change, which there was and oh so nice and lovely....then well, the worst hits for no reason at all. Anyway, its cool...nevermind. :)
     
  6. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    OK...I'm totally confused now! :uhh: Can you clear us up on what you are talking about?

    BD
     
  7. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Ahm i think you're writing exactly the same way as you speak, which is a wee bit confusing for us. Thats why I was suggesting you might want to sit down and clear up your thought process. This might help you to figure out just what you're trying to achieve here.

    In another thread http://www.sexualforums.com/talk/showthread.php?t=17030 you're complaining that you're SO won't let you ejaculate on her face which is another reason that I'm thinking you have a lot of different things bothering you.

    And I'm not trying to teach you to suck eggs, but if you type short sentences it would help.

    cheers
     
    #7 sarah_rslp, Mar 29, 2008
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2008
  8. Dreama

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    Well, first of all, why even post on a board if you don't feel like talking about it?? I'm confused. We're only left with our own conclusions because of the lack of info. And, you're only as repressed as you allow yourself to be. You are certainly not a victim. Society has done nothing to you. And the bottom line is, if you aren't happy with yourself or your current partner, change. Change it all. You're an adult. You have to shape your life into what you want it to be. Plus, relationships are hard. It has nothing to do with being 'meant to be'. It's not magic. It's hard work, love, compromise, and understanding.

    Further more, I find your posts more than a little confusing and hard to read.
     
  9. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    Boy, that could not have been said better. Dreama, you continue to demonstrate how emotionally mature you truly are. Thanks for gracing this forum with your presence! You are an inspiration to all of us. :bow

    BD
     
  10. Dreama

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    Thank you! :)
     
  11. BassDude

    BassDude New Member

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    You're welcome! ;)
     
  12. bucky

    bucky New Member

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    I'm lost. What is this thread about. Clueless in Chi-town:uhh:
     
  13. Dreama

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    It's alright bucky. All of us are at least a little lost in this the whole mess....
     
  14. yorkiesmurf

    yorkiesmurf New Member

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    Your posting is very difficult to comment as you leave out a lot of information. Relationships do end for a lot of different reasons and you cannot take it personally.

    Reading your posting I am left to wonder if you are leaving out a lot of information for a reason? Some poster allude to previous postings that may give some insight. Personally, I do not believe it was all that rosey for her and she left for a specific reason? In any event hopefully you will elaborate more so that we can give more specific comments and not wonder.
     
  15. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Well...:shrug
    I think pretty much echo the opinions of the other posters in this thread, when I say I find myself thoroughly confused by this. I assume you're speaking metaphorically because honestly there is no place on earth where long term relationships and/or marriage do not exist. You keep accusing us of speaking out of turn because we don't know all the details of your situation, which you apparently don't want to get into. But how do you expect us to help you if you won't tell us exactly what the problem is?
     
  16. sarah_rslp

    sarah_rslp New Member

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    Yeah according to you other post http://www.sexualforums.com/talk/showthread.php?t=17030
    you want to project your 'love and passion' staight into to your SO's face.

    Look at this point you should probably be thinking that the problem lies not so much with society as with yourself.

    I think a few posts back we all started to suspect why
     
  17. Goldenlion

    Goldenlion Banned

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    Thats really shit man, i feel for you.
    Im like you, very loyal, i dont sleep around, when i get in a relationship its for love and i give that person "me" as you put it.

    I think you just need ALOT of time to get over this, and you need someone equally special as you to pull you out of the dark place your in.

    Best of luck, im sorry for the crappy advice, society isnt kind to guys/girls like us :(