It's done

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by loveit247, May 4, 2007.

  1. loveit247

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    The straw that broke the camels back. I have broken up with my SO. It was our one year aniversary this Sunday. I was hoping he would take me out somewhere nice and spoil me. He called me to tell me that there is a hour party on this weekend and he wants to go. I told him that I would prefer to spend our aniversary together and do something nice.

    He went off in a sulk and told me he would call me back. I made up my mind that if he said no then it would be over. I deserve so much more then this.

    Well, he came back and said that he is going. I told him I want all my stuff packed up and ready for when I come and get it tonight. I really do think this is for the best. I need to be with someone who will appreciate me.
    He just said that he is sorry and that he is going. I can't be with someone who is so selfish that he is wedged up his own arse.

    He says that he loves me but I really can't see how. If you love someone then you bend over backwards for them, like I do for him. He is so busy making sure that he is happy that he actually can't be bothered to do something for me.
     
  2. SexyScorp

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    Well done girl...!!!

    It is for the best...you knew a long time ago this
    would happen, and i admire you for giving him
    such a long time to prove himself....

    Men rarely change...sorry to be so blunt..but its
    true...

    YOU ARE WORTH MORE!!!!!!!!!

    Here if you need me...you have my email address..

    Sending love to you.....xxxxxx
     
  3. Rose

    Rose Resident Sexy Grandma
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    Congratulations on having the strength and self-confidence to get up, and get going girl! :tup The hardest part is the decision. I imagine every one of us gals has been where you are right now (at one time or another), so you know we are behind you and hoping for your best.

    You are a lovely girl, fun and sensuous, with hopes and dreams for a future. You go girl!! :grouphug
     
  4. heelfetish

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    Rose and Scorp already said it. Congratulations for doing the right thing for YOU. You're right, he did not appreciate you, and you deserve better. I just wish my sister would come to the same realization. :(
     
  5. GreyGoose

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    Good call. Your right you deserve someone that respects you and treats yu the way yu know you should be treated.
     
  6. Barbwire

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    Good for you! Now, just take a deep breath and chill out for a bit. Don't go rushing into anything with another man for a bit, not until you are ready.
     
  7. smallpackage

    smallpackage New Member

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    Good job! I know it was tough, but you made the right choice.

    I do have a concern about something you said though. Above you stated "If you love someone then you bend over backwards for them, like I do for him." If it is real love, there is compromise. There shouldn't be much "bending over backwards". He stated that he loves you, and he very well might think he loves you...but just doesn't truly know what love is.

    To be honest, I have thought I have loved a few different women in my life. Not only until I had my children, did I discover what pure love is. Now I have a "bench mark" to go against ;)

    Hopefully you understand what I am trying to say. All in all, I am proud of you girl. You will have no problem finding someone that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated...you just gotta keep your eyes open!
     
  8. jemimer

    jemimer New Member

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    You go girl.... I reckon.... spend some time getting to know you!!, and enjoying yourself, someone worth having will find you when you are confident, and happy.
     
  9. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Congrats Loveit ....
    I just hope he doesnt give you the usual sob story to make you stay with him...he will never change.

    Awsome going on plucking the courage up to stand up for yourself and yes for sure you deserve much much more from a guy in a relationship...

    as CL said though just take a long break from any type of relationship, and have a ton of fun. you dont need him to celibrat and have a good time, hang out with a load of your female friends and have a load of female nights in or out :)

    on any aniversary, there is only one person that sort of special day should be spent with.....
    if he cant even be bothered to do that, there isnt much love there ( or at least not as much love as he has for himself )
     
  10. minxy2

    minxy2 Banned

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    *runs over and gives loveit a huuge hug and kiss on the cheek*sorry to hear what happens but im glad you done this now rather than later 2 children down the line, i just hope that you are ok becuase you seem to be so strong at this moment in time but u must still be felling a lil emotional i mean u gave him everything xxx im here if ya wanna yap or rant xx
     
  11. SexyScorp

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    For you loveit....xx

    [​IMG]
     
  12. Wolf359

    Wolf359 New Member

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    -kisses and big hugs-

    I am sorry to hear that. I wish I could make you feel better and treat you right. I would've given you a life you would've loved.:(
     
  13. msduncan

    msduncan Active Member

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    You are definately doing the right thing.

    /endorsed by msduncan
     
  14. equinox

    equinox New Member

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    Your conviction is enviable. I think too many people remain in unhappy relationships, mainly due to fear of change. It's a admirable ability, to know what's best for oneself. Congratulations, and best wishes.
     
  15. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
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    Good for you, girl. You showed much more courage than I did with my ex. He did all those things your ex did to you and much worse. But did I break up with him? No. I was a stupid, co-dependant fool, led to believe that it's in their very nature as men to be selfish and treat their wives and girlfriends like shit, and that it's our lot as women to take whatever they dish out.

    I know now that it's NOT true.

    Congratulations on getting out before things got really nasty and your life became one humiliation after another.
     
  16. SexyScorp

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    My mother used to say to my
    sister and I when we were growing
    up....

    "Men should treats you like Queens,
    respect your bodies and be careful
    who you give them to"

    Its one thing I will always remember
    and agree with....

    Thanks Mum...wherever ye are

    :(
     
  17. Bluesy

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    Wise woman...there's a lot of heart and strength of spirit evident in that advice. I can see where you got it from :)

    Loveit, bless you, babe, for realizing that you're worth so much more. Many *HUGS* to you! Be strong and please don't hesitate to post whenever you feel your resolve flagging. I have a feeling that like me, you have a hard time letting go of the dream of how things could be If Only...and the memory of how good things used to be. It always helped me to make a list of all the reasons why it had to end (things he said/did that were hurtful), and reviewing it every time I caught myself thinking "It wasn't that bad" or remembering a particularly happy time brought me back to reality with a snap.

    And don't forget, we're here for you!
     
  18. Hot Wheels

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    *wishes Loveit all the best for this new and exciting phase of her life* :)
     
  19. loveit247

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    Well, it is Monday and I am still going strong. Stronger than ever in fact. I am so glad to be out of that situation. He is such a selfish ass he really is.

    I get an email this morning from him saying that he hopes that I can forgive the fact that we did not work out. LOL! Really! It should be more like I hope you can forgive me for how I treated you, but NO! There is no space in Jossie land for Jossie to ever think that he could be wrong.

    I am really enjoying the freedom from worry and grovelling. I am worth so much more.
    I am holding my resolve too. A guy asked me out for coffee and said he would call me, he didn't so he is fucked if he thinks he is getting a date with me!

    I have decided to love myself more than anyone else (except of course my little dog who is there for me no matter what) and anyone who wants me needs to work his tail off!
     
  20. Kronnie

    Kronnie Banned

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    Good attutude hun :)

    But please do not make the little mistake some make and go from one extreme to the other..

    Although you have done remarkably well Loveit....and your well shot of his silly ass...

    Just take some time out to get to know you first and formost .. ( just advice others have said as well )
    And the guy that wanted to have coffee wit hyou, well if they cant even be bothered t ocall, well thats a show for what would have been in store wit hthat guy hehe.

    Best of luck for you..
    and i hope some nice guy comes along , that treats you right and puts you first :)