It hurts... like... a lot.

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by SteveWaste, Oct 8, 2010.

  1. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    Well, I guess when you have sex like we do, it was bound to happen sometime.

    I sprained my penis last night. In the missionary position, if you can believe it. We were going at it pretty hard as per her repetitive requests, and just as she orgasmed, she jerked her hips up mid stroke and somehow my lead singer was forced to do yoga onstage mid-solo and threw his back and his voice out. :eek

    So now it hurts. Quite a lot. All the time. It's red and slightly purple at the sight of the incident. I do not believe it to be anything more than a sprain and my Uncle who is a GP told me to just give it a week or two to rest, then don't do anything that hurts until it feels all the way better. He also mentioned that actually finishing another 10 minutes of intercourse, giving my lady another go, and having one myself was pretty stupid. After having the most painful orgasm I've ever had, and experiencing some KILLER morning wood, I quickly agreed. Then he slapped me on the shoulder and told me I had "Moxy" (made me feel good coming from Uncle Joey).

    Any other guys out there ever foul their junk mid-concert? I'm looking for someone to share in my anguish...

    ~Steve
     
  2. HardRocker

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    :ugh Are all the other cops laughing at you because you're walking funny?:lol
     
  3. heelfetish

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    Can't say that's ever happened to me, sorry. Worst I ever did was get caught in a zipper. Yeouch!
     
  4. igor

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    My next door neighbor did it - I guess he woke everyone up in the house.
     
  5. luvbug

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    While my SO and I were dating he was mowing his moms yard....had to go pee...Im sure you know where this is going..lmao....went behind the house...started pissing....felt something on the head of his dick....looked down and there was a damn bee! He said it swelled up big time and piss sprayed like when you have your hand over the end of the water hose!! lol

    I didnt know what happened at the time....I wondered why I didnt see him for about a week. LMFAO
     
  6. SteveWaste

    SteveWaste New Member

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    Luckily I'm off shifts for the next 2 days, but I did have to have someone cover my Hapkido class. Hard to teach spin kicks with a penis that looks like it went 2 rounds with a tack hammer.

    I didn't know snakes could get black eyes...

    ~Steve
     
  7. HardRocker

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    Ouch. That's worse than mine. I was lying in the bathtub relaxing and had a boner poking out of the water. Apparently an ant was saving itself from drowning and guess what he climbed up out of the water onto... I felt a tickle and opened my eyes just in time to see the little fucker on the tip top of my head clamping down with an excruciatingly painful bite. I let out a fair yelp and picked him off and crushed him. Luckily it was not a fire ant, which we have plenty of, just a little pissant(picnic ant or sugar ant), but it did hurt like hell. It cleared up right away, thank goodness.
     
  8. Barbwire

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    Steve, I have used my hands to work wonders on my horse's sprained muscles, although. I can't say I've ever had to massage his dick but, in your case, I'd be willing to dry my hand at peenie palpating.

    So, ya want I should bestow my tender mercies upon your ailing rod? :brow
     
  9. shaneyshaney

    shaneyshaney New Member

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    About a year ago I had a vasectomy. You know how the doctor tells you not to have sex for a week or so. Well I waited till the second day. The first one wasn't that bad. The second one hurt like hell. Going for two the day after was not smart either. Most people heal in a week or two. I walked around like John Wayne, and slept on ice packs for a month. Now I take the doctor's advice. Well, most of the time.
     
  10. Papi17

    Papi17 New Member

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    I had that happen once too... First time me fiancee and I ever had sex she was on top riding and she goes very very hard she had an orgasm (her first ever) where she started to shake and said it felt like she was being electrocuted lol. She went way up and slipped off and came down. I was rock hard and it hurt immensely. We had sex 3 times the next day. It didnt hurt too bad but it was swollen pretty good and purple at the bend spot
     
  11. HardRocker

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    Is there any sign of crookedness after it healed?
     
  12. awakened

    awakened New Member

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    I needed that laugh after 3-4 hrs bra shopping. That will put anyone in a bitchy mood, at least anyone my size. !!! lol
    Now i will so paranoid when i orgasm tonight that I might hurt my honey !!
     
  13. Meee

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    A pissant bit your dick. Pun intended?
     
  14. igor

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    2 things come to mind here for me:

    1) When I was in the Army (stationed at a defensive missle site) There were 3 perimeters containing the actual missles and launchers. All were surrounded by chain link fence and topped with barbed wire. One of the guard in the outer perimeter had to take a pee and his cock was bitten by a German Shepard guard dog patrolling between the fences.

    2) When I was working on a farm one summer I made the mistake of peeing on an electric fence. They say it is awfully hard if not impossible to stop the stream in the middle of peeing but I surely did!
     
  15. HardRocker

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    Yeah, but I didn't have time to piss him off, so I had to crush the little bugger.:lol

    That's actually its common name. Depending on where they nest, such as in decomposing organic mulch, their nests have been associated with a urea odor, and so were long ago called piss ants, in Europe, I believe. But the name became accepted over time and geography. I've also seen it spelled with one "s."

    I had to learn that before I posted the story because I knew it would come up. I was just waiting to see who had to know first. No pun though.:D
     
  16. Michellesoldman

    Michellesoldman New Member

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    HR....you should have looked it (the ant) dead square in it's beady little head and said "if you don't get off my dick, I'm gonna get the KY......."

    muahahaha
     
  17. HardRocker

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    If it hadn't bit first, maybe we would have discussed it. Maybe it was a girl ant and she thought she'd drowned and gone to blowjob hell.:lol
     
  18. lbushwalker

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    Oh boy, can I empathise with the subject in hand here.
    My own experience was similar to Pappi's; going for it hell for leather in doggy position when over exuberance cause a slip-out but was unable to stop the next thrust in time so slammed hard into her thigh instead and seriously bent my rod. A deep hurt followed but the protest scream wasn't mine so straight back into the saddle to finish the job with...... a spurt of blood!
    A man's got to do what a man does best regardless of circumstances right?
    Had sex again within hours but somehow it did not feel quite right and then began a series of ongoing UTIs the likes and pain I never imagined possible.
    Antibiotics fixes the problem and a cystoscopy has indicated injury to the urethra which only abstinence can slowly repair. That happened 6 months ago but still waiting for a break in the traffic!
     
  19. Hot Wheels

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    I was doing a woman up against a wall one time and she slipped down while I was fully inside her.....fuck, it hurt like blazes.....:weaksauce
    Saw my GP and he says I was lucky not to do even more damage:eek
    I couldn't even get it up for about two weeks after.....but all good now.:D
     
  20. Papi17

    Papi17 New Member

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    Nope. No crookedness. No lasting marks either