Issues

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by AGFUNK, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IL
    So we haven't had sex for a week so far. Last monday was the last time that we had sex and I was the one that initiated it like always. I've been waiting for my husband to initiate but he hasn't. I honestly think that he's more interested in his online game then sex with me. He still masturbates in the morning before I wake up or while I'm at work. I've asked him not to so that when I get home and get relaxed we can have sex. Well as you can see that it hasn't happened.

    Today was my breaking point with the no sex because I'm not initiating it. I tried kissing him and he pushed me away because he's sick. Honestly I don't give a damn if he's sick or not. I work in retail and I'm already constantly getting a cold because people cough and sneeze everywhere. Also he tries to tell me that he tried to make out with me in the car last night when we got home. We had bags in the car and food that had to get in the house. He also tried to get me to jerk him off while watching a movie that we had not seen. He always picks the worse times to try to start something and it's pissing me off.

    I don't get why he won't intiate sex with me at a time when we can actually have sex and enjoy it and not have to rush it. I've tried talking to him and he doesn't see anything wrong with how our sex life is. I don't want to initiate again because it will make me feel like crap like I'm forcing him to have sex with me and I don't want that. I guess for advice I'm asking for ways to get sex completely off of my mind so that I can function properly at work and home with doing the things that need to get done at work and at home. Also I guess how to not resent him for not intiating. I do love him with all of my being and would never leave him or cheat on him in any way.
     
  2. Kermit

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2010
    Messages:
    1,950
    Likes Received:
    12
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sesame Street
    Umm i suppose get a hobby, but does he listen? I mean has he full a plead out of the case? Or write him a letter?
     
  3. cutegirl

    cutegirl New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2011
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Female
    As per me, that is not a long term solution...It will start stacking up the pressure on you...

    Sorry to hear about your situation.

    Do you know any particular outfit/environment he prefers while having sex? Is he prefers any specific kind of porn? When you will have time to relax, then if you can get to that outfit or create the environment to create his interest.
     
  4. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2006
    Messages:
    6,965
    Likes Received:
    5,078
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    'Stralia Mate!
    Agfunk; obtain a good quality vibrator and use it often.
    If he won't start or join the party go ahead and enjoy it all by yourself!
    Fantasise and dream up of all the naughty things that will turns you on and BTW let him know that that is what you are doing :D
     
  5. McGumby

    McGumby New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2011
    Messages:
    52
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Short term, masturbate.

    Long term, you need to find out what's going on. I have no idea what your relationship is like, but some men just don't have the stereotypical male sex drive. The stereotype is all men do is think about sex and they will drop anything to do it, while women always have headaches. B.S.!! Many men, me included, just don't have a high sex drive. Lot's of women, my wife included, want ti all the time.

    Communication is the key. I know you said he won't talk, but you also seem frustrated. In my experience, not talking and getting frustrated and angry just makes things worse. You can't make him talk, but you can try and do things on your own. Initiate the sex and do whatever you can to get him excited. Don't make the mistake of feeling put out because you have to always initiate. If you get what you want, sex with you're husband, then who cares? You might get rejected but take it in stride and enjoy the times you don't.

    Eventually, though, you need to talk with him. If you can get past you're frustration, he might be more willing to open up. Like anyone, if you come at him, accusing him of doing something wrong, he'll shut down. Try and find out what he needs to get revved up and be ready to give it to him, within reason. If he likes midget porn, so be it. I love transsexual porn, and my wife doesn't, but she likes that it excites me and then she benefits. Same with lingerie and such, though she is developing a taste for it.

    Good luck and don't give up.
     
  6. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IL
    We talked and it has gotten better. I think he just needs to get out of the house more so he's not so depressed, etc.
     
  7. McGumby

    McGumby New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2011
    Messages:
    52
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Depression is a terrible thing. I've been there and it's not fun. Makes even the things you enjoy most in life seem like too much damn effort. The best cure is forcing yourself to do that stuff anyway. A supportive wife helps too.
     
  8. AGFUNK

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2010
    Messages:
    3,974
    Likes Received:
    3,237
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    IL
    ^I know how bad depression gets. I'm bipolar 1 with rapid cycling and psychotic features so I understand what he's going through plus some. He just needs to get out and do stuff. He's a lot happier when he's out of the house.