[Ask a Guy] Is this Ok?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by collette, Feb 12, 2011.

  1. collette

    collette Member

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    So, I'm one of the percentage who can't orgasm without clitoral stimulation so I learned at some point to handle that for myself during sex, usually missionary works best for me.

    Well, someone commented on my doing this during and made me feel self conscious about it. Is this an unusual thing? Would you be offended or put off if your partner was touching herself while you were engaging in sex? Do I need to explain why i am?

    It was just so odd but the result is that now I feel awkward and self conscious about it - like I will be afraid to do it now.
     
  2. survivalclubz

    survivalclubz New Member

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    I think that's not really an odd or offputting thing. I really love it when a girl touches herself while my cock's in her. It's hot as hell. I would want you to do it even if you didn't have to.
     
  3. dukefan

    dukefan New Member

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    I don't see anything wrong or off putting about it, quite the opposite. I wish I could get my wife to touch herself while we have sex. It would be a huge turn on

    I guess it could be an ego thing with some guys, if he has an issue let him give the clitorial stimulation.

    Just talk with him during a nonsexual conversation, but you were doing nothing wrong
     
  4. Mittimer

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    I honestly see no issue in you touching yourself during sex. I sure as hell wouldn't be turned off or upset by it.
    Simply informing a man that you can't get off without clitoral stimulation should be enough. Unfortunately if their one of those men who feel that insertion should be enough, then there's going to be a problem.

    Hopefully you don't find yourself with any of those men.

    Agreeing with the post above me, bring this up in a nonsexual conversation if this is a more then sexual relationship. Sexual understanding is something that needs to be clear within couples.

    For the record, it's not unusual in the least. I do it as well. My husband fully understands my need for stimulation there and to be honest, most of the time goes for my clit first.
     
  5. 33stack

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    when im having sex, if she isn't already touching herself, i tell her to.....
     
  6. GreyGoose

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    I too think its a turn on and I would like you to oragsm however you have to as long as you orgasm
     
  7. nyxx

    nyxx New Member

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    not weird at all. you have to do what you have to do to feel pleasure. just do what feels right, besides i'm sure any guy would love that fact you actually orgasmed whether than faked it :)
     
  8. SpiderSnake

    SpiderSnake New Member

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    I can see both sides of this. Some guys would think 'If shes playing with herself what am I here for?' but that is just an ego thing. If that is the only way you can orgasm then to hell what he thinks about it. Sex is meant to be pleasurable for BOTH partners. Personally, I feel that if my partner doesnt orgasm, I dont have the right to either. Tell your partner you have to do this & if he has a problem with it, he isnt worth jumping in the sack with. Its not wrong at all, there is no rule book where sex is concerned.
     
  9. Dragon_Fire

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    You're in the majority if you need to touch your clit during sex. If the man has an issue with it, that's his problem, not yours.
     
  10. collette

    collette Member

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    You know - I have only been an active member of one other forum, which happened to be a mothering one and I just have to tell you that you all are way more supportive and informative than that group. After being flamed there a few times over silly things - I've been leery of posting in a forum again. So thanks all for your helpful comments :)
     
  11. Texas_Red

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    I'm with everyone who says it's fine. What gets a person off is different for everyone. No reason to be ashamed or worried about the fact that you need clitoral stimulation to get off. Besides, there are plenty of ways to make that happen during sex.
     
  12. BlueLizard

    BlueLizard New Member

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    Doesnt bother me a bit if Dreamer touches her clit. To me, it means she is just as into whatever we are doing as I am.
     
  13. cowboyup

    cowboyup Member

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    i think its very sexy when a woman touches her self during sex or any other time for that matter!

    dont trip off of who ever said something, that person is the wierd one in my book.

    if there is a next time, and he goes to say something, just say if your mot going to STFU and FUCK me then get the hell offf me!!
    i bet this will grab his attention lol.
     
  14. MePersonally

    MePersonally New Member

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    You can also explain how he can do it for you. I don't know about the rest of you guys but I always have a finger or a thumb or something working on that clit while I'm doing my thing. It's just the right thing to do! =)
     
  15. lbushwalker

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    My SO does it all the time and even uses a clit vibrator as we make love.
    It is a huge turn on for me both to see her do it then squirm with pleasure and then also get the benefits of the vibes myself.
    IMHO sex just isn't complete without some simultaneous clit play.
     
  16. nurseharley

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    the person who commented on you doing that should be the one feeling awkward. it's completely normal and i do it all the time. it's almost impossible for me to resist the urge to touch it during sex
     
  17. andretti

    andretti New Member

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    1. No, this practice is not unusual at all, not from what I've read.
    2. No, I would not be offended. I might be a little curious, if I'd never had a partner who'd done that, or hadn't read about how common it is, but all I'd need is an explanation.
    3. No, you don't have to explain, but maybe you should. Sounds like this may be new to him, and an explanation wouldn't hurt. Communication is key in making a sex life better.
    4. Oh, goodness, NO! Whatever you do, don't get self-conscious about it!

    Let me explain: suppose I were the guy, and I found out you stopped, on my account. (Let's say this is five or six months down the road). And then, somehow, I learn that you've NOT been getting off, because you were too self-conscious to touch yourself while we were doing it? OMG - the remorse I'd feel, the regret, the shame.....

    No, this is your opportunity to educate him..... Let him know, and then twiddle to your heart's content. That's my advice.
     
  18. Alwayslearningsex

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    Another nice thing would be your partner to stimulate you instead, don't be afraid to show him if he is receptive. Also there could be positions he can do it during intercourse, like the woman on top.
    This is So sexy and such a turn on! To me anyway.
    Or you can do it yourself as well whch if he is like me, it frees my hands to touch all over. Definitely would go on the clit too, it's worth it.
     
  19. cbrmale

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    Most of us here are very well informed about sex and we know that the majority of women orgasm only sometimes or not at all from intercourse. Because I know this I would be quite happy for my wife to touch herself, although in missionary it would be a bit strange to have her hand between me and her. I have had prior partners do that when on top or side-by-side, and I must admit it's very hot to watch a woman ride me while rubbing herself...

    I have also stimulated women during intercourse, but my wife doesn't like that as it distracts her from the feeling of me inside her. But that's her preference, and I'm quite happy with that as she satisified by orgasm before intercourse, and sometimes orgasm during as well.
     
  20. makeshersquirt

    makeshersquirt New Member

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    If you cant get of during sex then when is it supposed to happen? Sex is supposed to feel good. If your partner is judging you by what feels good for you get someone new!