Is this normal?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by young_gun_91, Oct 10, 2010.

  1. young_gun_91

    young_gun_91 New Member

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    So this is something I'm terribly embarrased about, but I have to ask. Is it normal for feeling down to lower your sex drive as well? During the past few weeks, some undesireable things have been happening in my life and I find that my avatar doesn't describe me the way that it normally does. :lol I am very concerned and like I said, embarrased about this. I usually have so many sexual urges and no girl to use them with, but lately I haven't had any. When I do decide to masturbate, it's just not the same as it used to be.

    Another part of it might be self-esteem. I'm usually a very confident guy, and at time maybe even cocky. But lately I've been embracing the idea of being a life-long reject. It's a silly reason, but some girls I knew from high school denied my facebook requests and aside from getting pissed off at those bitches it kind of made me feel different about my life.

    So my question is, is it normal for real-life issues to effect sexual interest and honestly, the ability to "perform"? Or could this be something really bad that is a sign of something else, like I'm going to ohave E.D. by age 24. Something I was used to having the exact opposite of until now. Thanks for reading this and I'd appreciate any feedback I can get.
     
  2. Hot Wheels

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    The short answer.....yes.
    The brain is the most vital sexual organ.....and if your head's not in the right space.....of course it's going to have an adverse effect on your sex drive.:eyes
    For example....it's like stress.....most people will have trouble performing when their stressed right?:ugh
    When things improve, and your happier within yourself, then you'll see things come back to normal ok....:D
     
  3. HardRocker

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    Gunny, you're fine. But it is best to leave most high school attachments behind. Their memories of you are probably twisted by the confused immaturity and insecurities that all high schoolers have. Yours are memories of them when you and they were in that stage of life too. Some never grow out of it... we call them losers. Some grow out of it... we call them successful young adults. Still not too sure, but learning about real life. Don't worry, be happy. I think that's a song.:eyes
     
  4. lbushwalker

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    Hey Young Gun,
    Both HW & HR hit the nail on the head.
    In your mind you are a super stud then you get a rejection and your self esteem evaporates.
    In time you will learn to accept the good and let the not so good slide away.
    Don't get angry and call old flames bitches; they now have their own new lives which does not include you so accept that and move on.
    As for your libido, it is just taking a breather since probably your sexual fantasies have temporally dissipated but it will be back with a vengeance.... be sure of that!
     
  5. young_gun_91

    young_gun_91 New Member

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    Well stress has been a part of it (I forgot to use that word). I've just been really worried about the present and future, but I'm glad to hear that it's normal.

    Thanks, man! And as bummed out as I am to say it, you're right. :ugh The truth is, those memories are all twisted. For me, senior year is (what I thought) were the best days of my life, around the fall of 2008. In my mind that has been a sugar-coated time where every part of everyday was good. And a lot of times, it was. But now I'm thinking that all the people I thought were my friends could care less about me, and the girls I was always making laugh think I'm so creepy they reject me on facebook.

    I've grown a lot since then, and for the better...

    You're right, I shouldn't call them bitches. But through "mutual friends" I saw they had accepted some guys that I thought they knew less than me. I just get too worked up and angry sometimes.

    That last part sure makes me feel better. I was worried my "ding a ling" broke before I even got to truly use it. :lol
     
  6. HardRocker

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    They probably don't really have a valid reason to think you're creepy, or if they do, they're likely just still influenced by the cliquish group-think that so many of them fall into for lack of lack of independent thinking. The farther you leave them behind, the more aware you will become of the petty behavior they exhibit. Welcome to the land of adulthood where people learn to think and make judgments on their own. They may say, you have no right to judge me! You say, The hell I don't, judgments are the way I choose quality company and dismiss the rest. And for that matter, It's how I make decisions about everything in my life. It's all about making judgments. Sometimes you'll blow it, but that's a learning experience.

    I kind of got off of the sexual theme, but it's all part of life.
     
  7. FlirtyChick

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    The guys have given you the best advice you will get here, YG. Sorry that you are feeling this way. Forget the people who "diss" you. Move on with the ones that are your friends and thrive in your self-esteem. What others think is of no significance to who you are.....
     
  8. Meee

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    Isn't it interesting that Facebook has created a whole new way to get dissed and have self doubt? What did people do before the interweb--wait for their high school reunion?
     
  9. NewHere

    NewHere New Member

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    YG I agree with what was posted here. I think your read my first post here about me and my boyfriend. I was worried he wasn't happy with me anymore because he didn't want to have sex as often as we used to. Turns out he is extremely stressed about work and a few other things going on. It really tends to kill a sex drive when all you have going through your mind is the bills you have to pay, or the asshole you had to deal with at work tomorrow.

    Try not to worry too much about it. As time goes on, the stresses you have will have less of an impact on you, or you will manage it better, and your drive will come back. :phat

    I also got caught up in the whole Facebook thing for awhile too. I thought it was great finding all the old high school people I used to know. I would log in everyday just to see the updates. Then one day I thought to myself "Why am I doing this? I could care less about what they are doing now. I lost contact with these people for a reason." The people that are in your life now are there because you want them to be. The ones you left behind are in the past for a reason too.
     
  10. igor

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    You got that right. I recently attended my 50th class reunion and while I had a good time there were only a few people that I enjoyed being around and renewing acquaintances. Most of my former classmates could have cared less about me back then and vice-versa.
     
  11. young_gun_91

    young_gun_91 New Member

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    Thanks. It's just that on top of some of the other stuff that was happening two weeks ago (family drama, financial issues...), being cut down like that was the last thing that I needed.

    Thanks. And yes, I did read your first post. :) I should have known that from the start; if I was meant to be around these people, I would be. I'm not much of a conformist, and I shouldn't have gotten upset that I didn't meet their "standards". I guess I should just leave all of that in the past.