Is she flirting?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by Icebat, Oct 23, 2012.

  1. Icebat

    Icebat Member

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    Hello all,
    I realize it's hard for you to judge since you don't know all the details, but here goes anyway
    I hate not having a clue on what women want and think.
    There is this new colleague at work and it feels like she's hitting on me, but I'm not sure.
    And I have no idea how to react on this.

    Basically, we have this chat system at work (that doesn't record any logs) and she always initiates the conversation in the morning. Throughout the day, we chat . Last week she asked about where I live, if I smoke and what my hobbies are.
    Nothing special eh? Yeah. We also chitchatted about what how we think about relationships in general.
    Still no big deal.

    But today, she said things and I have no idea if these are hints or not. I might be seeing things that aren't there, or I might be totally oblivious as usual.
    I think she's not interested and that I'm simply to clueless to be sure about it.
    Anyway, we started talking about relationships again and she said she thinks it's ok to have "casual sex". Meaning she thinks one-night-stands are fine.

    A bit later I said I was single and that it probably was because I had a weird personallity. She answered "I wouldn't be so sure about that. I'll tell you once I found out myself" and added a smilie.

    Some time later, I casually said how I liked women who are sportive (knowing she's into cycling big time) and replied "Is your fantasy going wild :p"

    Now the conversation is starting to get more awkward to me...
    Much later she jokingly asked if I was "dry". In Dutch, "being dry" means you're not sexually active at the moment. I replied that yes, since I'm single, I am "dry" indeed. She said that being single also has it's advantages.

    Later, we started talking about sleeping in the spoon position (no we were not talking about the sex position, just the sleeping position)
    I jokingly said that the spoon position for a man is not that ideal since the result is a sleeping arm and hair in your face.
    She replied "pfff. My hair smells good".
    She also said (probably in a joking manner too) that me not liking the spoon position to sleep might be a reason I'm single. I said "What? That's the only problem you find?" she replied "I'm still testing the rest of you :p"

    Ok so... now I totally confused. What the hell does this all mean? Is she giving hints and am I too oblivious to pick them up? Or am I seeing things that aren't there.

    I have absolutely NO idea on how to react to this... argh I wish I could understand women better.
     
  2. Silkycat

    Silkycat New Member

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    Ok... I'm completely incompetent at shit like this... When I get into a relationship with someone, it's because they litterally ask me if I want to. Same goes for sex. I'm rubbish at hints!

    It does sound extremely flirtish etc though... She could just be joking around on the other hand, but some of the things you describe...

    I don't know.. I don't even know why I'm replying to this thread, I'm likely the last person that should give you advice on this!
     
  3. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    Well I'm very flirty.....and joke around with guys a lot and I don't mean anything by it...... So I'm not sure if she is serious. Have you seen her in person? have you talked to her in person? If you have, what is her personality like then? And I will say that people get a lot bolder typing than they would in person.....I'm pretty sure no one would actually walk up to me and say "I'd like to spank your ass and suck you tits" to my face.......:lol
     
  4. Icebat

    Icebat Member

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    I have seen her in person. In person she's more quiet. She stays a bit more in the background when we're in a group at lunch for example. She's nice to me too. She often jokes that I'm kinda hyperkinetic (which is true) but generally, it's just some chatting that we do. She doesn't seem to be the type to flirt with everyone when we're in a group.

    My main concern, is that I... have only a little experience when it comes to sex and women. So... I'm not sure how I should react on this.
     
    #4 Icebat, Oct 23, 2012
    Last edited: Oct 23, 2012
  5. Maverick

    Maverick Member

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    The quiet ones are usually the wildest ones.

    Ask her out for a drink after work. Simple enough.
     
  6. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    She seems to be out going when typing then in person.....most people are. When you see her again watch how she looks at you, does she smile a lot, do you catch her looking at you when your not looking......does she lean in while talking with you? Small signs, tell a lot.
    Maybe while chatting one day with her tell her you and some friends are going to meet after work one night would see like to go.....if she says yes.....make the plans and invite people.
     
  7. BitchN

    BitchN New Member

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    You are always staight to the point.......sometimes you should follow the curves.....:D
     
  8. Slipikins

    Slipikins New Member

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    She's def. flirting and the fact that she's seen you in real life and continues leads me to think she's interested on some level. I say that because I've flirted online with people but in real life probably wouldn't. I agreee with BitchN, look for mannerisms in person. Then you'll know for sure. :]
     
  9. willing_tongue

    willing_tongue New Member

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    Def. flirting. What's the worse that can happen if you ask her to drinks/dinner, she says no, then you know. Later you can blind fold her, spank her bottom pink, and the bang her senseless...Oh sorry getting ahead of myself...LOL
     
  10. Maverick

    Maverick Member

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    But sometimes straight with a small curve is better then a wicked curve. :)
     
  11. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    BitchN, following the curves is always more fun. Icebat, she's definitely flirting. You just need to figure out if its flirting she wants to act on, or if its the flirting to boost each others egos and self esteem. I have a close friend who loves to be told just what I would do to her in very graphic detail, she often asks for dick picks from me, etc. However, she's going through a divorce, is a single mom, has only ever been with three guys including her now ex husband, and is 40 years old. I know nothing will ever happen with us, but my flirting with her is a huge boost to her self esteem and confidence. In your shoes, I would ask her to dinner and see where it goes.
     
  12. lbushwalker

    Gold Member

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    Icebat dude.........how many more hints do you need?
    Of course she has the hots for you; now do the right thing and go well hook up!
    Man, you are slow :eyes
     
  13. sandwich

    Gold Member

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    I'm a huge flirt, but I don't do it at work because I have a staff. I guess I would want to know if she does her typing thing with others, because people like me who flirt with all sorts of people just for fun do just that...flirt with everyone, and it means absolutely nothing. It's like a hobby.

    Her being otherwise quiet is interesting, and I can't speak to that because I am as outgoing in person as I am otherwise. My thought is that since some of her flirting is very specific (like the dry thing), she might be into you.

    Maybe it's time to just go for it before you overthink it.
     
  14. 12barblues

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    Ok...lets simplify....( simplifying seems to be my " thing" lately...lol) .. To all the women that say they flirt . I ask, do you flirt with men you find unattractive? Probably not. Hence , she finds you attractive . So, as sandwich said, stop overthinking it ....everything she has said to you seems very clear.....The ball is in your hands now, so don't fumble. ( sorry for the American football analogy) ...
     
  15. sandwich

    Gold Member

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    Yes, sometimes I flirt with men who I do not find attractive. I probably do it because men in general are interesting to me, and you never know what's underneath.
     
  16. mikele

    mikele New Member

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    I would say she is flirting. After you guys chat again and if the conversation goes to the awkward stuff again just tell her that you want to get to know her better and ask her out to dinner or drinks. You know, nothing big just casual. Probably one on one rather than in a group because you said she acts different around people than when she is chatting.
     
  17. 12barblues

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    Correct me if I'm wrong, ...but that's still an "attraction" right? Attracted to ( interested in) what may be " underneath" right? My point being that the woman has an interest on some level or she wouldn't be flirting...yes?
     
  18. Icebat

    Icebat Member

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    Well, I learned today that she apparently already has a boyfriend. But a friend of hers told me it wasn't going well between them.

    Now I'm totally confused as to what she's up to. Either it's really nothing, or she's playing some sort of twisted game with me in which case I might as well just totally drop it or it's something else.

    I'm totally confused now.

    Well at least I know one thing: she probably doesn't find me too ugly if she's doing this, whatever the reason may be. Because it's not like there aren't enough guys around her at work.
     
  19. Esozh

    Esozh New Member

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    It sounds like she's not getting the attention she wants from her boyfriend and is looking elsewhere for it. In my experience, even married women like to know that they can still turn heads - so it's not unusual for a woman to dress a little provocatively or flirt just a bit to fill that need without acting on it further.

    This girl may like that attention, but she also may be the type that doesn't like to be alone and is looking for someone to replace her boyfriend.
     
  20. Icebat

    Icebat Member

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    Might be.
    And to be honest, I don't know if I should feel flattered by the fact that she tries to flirt with me (I mean, I genuinely wonder "why me?")... or if I should be offended for playing such a game with me.

    And I know even less what the hell I'm supposed to do now.