[Ask a Girl] Is sex without orgasming enough?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by icer, Jul 17, 2009.

  1. icer

    icer New Member

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    Hi, my first post :phat

    ... and I thought I would just be the voyeur on these here forums :eyes

    Many times during sex, after I shoot my load, I get ready to go down on my wife... but she stops me...

    I absolutely love anything to do with her labia... be it watching it, caressing it, cupping it (with my hand!), rubbing it, licking it, sucking it... anything! I just adore it!

    She gets extremely shy though (well, that is my interpretation)... and says that she doesn't need to cum, and that it is ok to leave it at that.

    We've been married for 13 years, and this attitude of hers is nothing new.

    Only on rare occasions will she let me go down on her... Much relished moments indeed!

    Getting back to the matter at hand...

    I ask her if she really has been satisfied, and she says yes.

    So, my questions to you ladies are...

    "Does having sex, without orgasming satisfy you?"

    &

    "Can this be a regular thing, without it being a bad thing?"

    &

    "Why could this be the case?"

    Mind you, there are times when she will ask to be brought to an orgasm, and needlessly said, I oblige... but not very often does this happen...

    Thanks for your responses from now :D
     
  2. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    I'm not your typical woman, so please take my answers with a grain of salt.

    Okay, I'm just going to jump right in here before all the touchy-feely types start babbling about sex being just peachy keen if only the man orgasms. That's a load and we all know it. LOL!

    No, I don't feel satisfied if I don't have an orgasm during sex. If I don't have an orgasm after being sexually aroused, I get irritable, edgy, and I can't sleep. I get a bit crampy, kinda of like a female version of blue balls.

    I have learned to have one or two orgasms before my husband does his thing because I know once he's shot his wad, he's done for the night. If I am particularly horny, I need to rub out one or two more before I can sleep.

    This may be a shot in the dark, but do you think your wife has issues with you eating her after you've ejaculated into her vagina? I used to never let a man eat me after he came in me. It just seemed icky and wrong. I only just recently, for the first time, allowed my husband to eat me after he'd shot his wad. I felt a bit weird about it at first, but gradually, I relaxed and let him get me off.

     
  3. igor

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    Hi there and welcome. Hey - if she is happy (and you are) that's all that matters. Sometimes just the intimacy is enough to satisfy them.
     
  4. Barbwire

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    :tsktsk This question is for the women only, Igor.
     
  5. igor

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    Point taken CL - I was just going by what I was told..:)
     
  6. icer

    icer New Member

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    Thank you for responding Cowboy Lover :) (and igor... now quick, run :p)

    As much as I have seen from your posts CL, I guessed you would had answered as such :)

    I appreciate all input :)

    But only one lady responds?

    The other ladies must be busy being naughty :drool...ermm... or nice :brow

    And all the more thanks to you then I guess :)

    One other thing though... I was unclear on the topic, I concede that...

    It doesn't have to be after I shoot my load in her too... I should have said, "Anytime I wish to perform oral on her." My bad :eek:
     
  7. Barbwire

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    Perhaps your oral skills are lacking, and she's too shy to tell you that. ???
     
  8. icer

    icer New Member

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    It is possible that I am a lousy cunnilinguist, as I have never performed it on anyone else before to grade me.

    All that to aside, she has been like this since our first time.

    So I think it is safe to say that this is not the reason she shies away from it.

    Honesty is tantamount to our life CL. So, I never fake liking something, and I believe neither does she. I'm not saying you are saying otherwise... I just wanted to clear that up for the following statement...

    I have tried cunnilingus on her before, not like she absolutely disallows it... just that it is a rare occasion for me... I have brought her to orgasm (some multiple) through the agency of my tongue and digits a few times. Sometimes, I get sore jaws, yet am unable to get her to cum.

    The night after I wrote the original question up, I performed cunnilingus on her, and she came. I kind of sensed it, but it must have been a small one, for after a few minutes of my sneaking suspicion, she said, "I came already, ride me." In not so much those exact words...

    But I hope the matter is clearer now.....
     
  9. Barbwire

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    So, why don't you believe her when she says she's fine with not orgasming?
     
  10. HardRocker

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    Because "fine with not orgasming" isn't in our guys' realm of comprehension, since we have to be milked regularly or else it will cause us to become mentally ill.:ugh
     
  11. Barbwire

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    Well, call me a guy then, because I don't get it either.
     
  12. Vanja

    Vanja New Member

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    I get very frustrated if I don't cum. I'm used to pretty much controlling when it happens so my husband HAS to tell me when he's about to cum or I won't have enough time to make it happen. If he forgets to tell me I get frustrated and sometimes it's so bad that I want to cry like a spoiled brat :yell
     
  13. Barbwire

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    Thanks for replying Vanja; now I don't feel like such an oddity.

    I prefer big dicks to small ones and I actually require an orgasm when I have sex, but by reading some of the replies given by women on this forum about those topics, I was starting to feel like I was a freak. (I actually have a nagging feeling that perhaps I'm just overly honest. ) ;)
     
  14. Dreama

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    You're not a freak, CL. Everyone is different, you know.

    Personally, I like an orgasm, but I don't absolutely require one. I'm in it more for the experience and the intimacy at this point, though I'm not usually disappointed in the orgasm department either.
     
  15. icer

    icer New Member

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    First, I don't recall saying I never believe her. And I think I can see how it may have come across to you like that.

    I believe her when she says she is fine without orgasming. I am not like that, but I am no lady either. I guess I wanted to find out if this was the norm.

    Still, your point got me thinking for a while CL. So, I guess my subconscious thoughts kinda see it that way? Wow! I gotta sit down and revise my thoughts now :lol

    A heartfelt thank you for the insight CL :D

    And Dreama answered, and comforted me somewhat, by posting what she did. Thank you for that Dreama :)

    So, my questions:

    "Does having sex, without orgasming satisfy you?"

    &

    "Can this be a regular thing, without it being a bad thing?"

    &

    "Why could this be the case?"​
    were answered as thus:
    Possibly (some women, yes and some women, no.)

    &

    Yes

    &

    Other things are seen as priority, not orgasming​

    Thank you to everyone for your precious contributions :)

    icer
     
  16. HardRocker

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    Thanks for posting, icer. No need to always hang back in the shadows.
     
  17. icer

    icer New Member

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    I guess, I originally came online here in search for some amateur porn...

    Despite seeing some pictures in the Members' Gallery, I didn't find much.

    But I did find something far more interesting, and helpful.

    I just took to learning from others, and reading their posts.

    Then it dawned on me, I could ask this question without thinking someone would take it as me hitting on them, and getting the cold shoulder due to it.

    So, it worked out just fine :)

    She asked me bring her to orgasm with my hand today :D

    LOVING IT!
     
  18. Barbwire

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    I'm glad you came here, even if it was for the wrong reason. ;)

    Sometimes I wonder if instead of being called a "sexual social network for adults", this site should be promoted more as an adult education site. Being called the other makes it seem like a place to hookup for sex, IMHO.

    The semi-nude chick at the top of the page seems kind of out of place as well.

     
  19. Vanja

    Vanja New Member

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    You know, I used to be like that, thinking that the intimacy was enough. It was much more about the whole "closeness" thing. It's still like that but it's not the priority anymore - me orgasms are :D The closeness priority was also before I started being able to control when I cum.
     
  20. xavier211985

    xavier211985 New Member

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    sex wtihout orgasm? oh no! that's not 'sex' to me...