is sex just not for me?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by dmack, May 17, 2007.

  1. dmack

    dmack New Member

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    I posted a past thread with a problem i have where i cant cum from a blowjob. Well, that problem still exists, but it has worsened. Now i can't cum from a blowjob, a handjob, or even just straight vaginal sex. And to tell the truth, it doesn't even feel good to have sex to me. I'm 22, i'm not sure why i'm having such problems. I can get myself off and i used to be able to finish when i had sex with my girlfriend, but now i cant. it's to the point where i just dont want to have sex anymore because i wear myself out so much trying to make it happen. my girlfriend is sick of trying too. she has never really been into sex anyway. its not really important to her. the only thing i can think of that might be causing this is i have really really bad anxiety that i have not gotten medication for yet and my mind is almost always somewhere else, like worrying about just stupid things. any ideas? could my anxiety be causing this?
     
  2. Barbwire

    Gold Member

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    Hell yeah! I have ADHD so sometimes sex is difficult for me to focus on, as my mind is elsewhere. IF I can get my head on straight and enjoy the sex and come, other times, I am so zoned out, I don't feel a thing.
     
  3. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    I had this problem a long time ago, for a couple of weeks when my g/f told me I last too long.

    I used to think it was a good thing to go for an hour, so I held off cumming all of the time. Then suddenly I find out I'm making her sore from going too long.

    So I figured no big deal, I'll just cum when I'm ready, no holding back. Wrong...

    Now I couldn't cum even after 20+ minutes.... this went on for a few weeks and my g/f was getting frustrated. One day she came to my house and I got on top of her and I came in about 2 minutes lol.. then we went into my bedroom and fell asleep.

    I woke her up in the middle of the night and did her doggystyle and cummed in about umm 2 minutes again... she was like wtf is the deal minute man? I discovered if I just focused on how tight and wet she was, and allowed myself to feel the sensations from her pussy, I could cum within a few minutes.

    So then I figured out I could hold off until I felt I made her cum enough times, then I would just focus on how good things felt, and I would then cum within a few minutes.

    You gotta focus on the feeling bro... nothing but how tight and wet she feels. It will become second nature for you eventually. Just stop thinking about other things...
     
  4. dmack

    dmack New Member

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    that makes sense, because i do try to hold back from cumming and then it takes even longer, BUT the thing is, i dont think her vagina feels good. see this might be the mental block, but i dont feel much of anything. its really strange.
     
  5. tall_dallas

    tall_dallas New Member

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    Stress from work, financial issues, etc. etc. can all have an effect.
    Just focus on the task at hand... what is happening at the time and not the things that you can't immediatley change.
    I had this problem too after I got laid off from a job I was at for over 6 years.
    It wasn't until I found this job making about 50% more that everything came back in sync.
     
  6. Animularisen

    Animularisen New Member

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    You've properly got yourself into a mental block with it all...
    For the first 3 years of sex I couldnt feel anything, and i didnt enjoy sex
    it was because i linked it with being abused when i was younger
    when i unlinked it [[sumhow]] i started to enjoy it and even cum.
     
  7. Fliteskates

    Fliteskates Member

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    You would have to have an unusually small penis not to feel something, so I doubt it is a physical problem.

    Do you masturbate often? A woman feels alot less suttle than the tight grip most guys use when stroking themselves.

    If you are gripping and ripping, I suggest you lighten up the grip.

    If you are using a condom, then you should consider switching to a thinner one, which will add more sensation.

    Also, when I first started having sex, I noticed a HUGE difference from how my g/f felt when I was semi hard, to when I was rock hard.

    I was always thinking about things, and my dick was never in its full glory. Then the day I learned to just concentrate on the moment and sensations, I got my "sex erection"

    It made a huge difference.. when my g/f climbed on top of me she was swearing and started to shake almost right away... so she noticed it as well.

    The feeling was like night and day and I came quickly.

    It is probably a combination of you not being hard enough, used to a tight grip when doing "self love", and the fact you are thinking too much.

    Just slow down and take the time to enjoy her body, and when you are thrusting inside of her, go really slow and allow yourself to feel every sensation her pussy gives you, inch by inch.
     
  8. prevert

    prevert New Member

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    I need to learn to concentrate... : /
     
  9. naughtynid81

    naughtynid81 New Member

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    I am over worked I have the same problems