Is pornography beneficial or detrimental to a relationship?

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by Eleutherios, May 7, 2009.

?

Has pornography been mostly beneficial or mostly detrimental to your relationships?

  1. Mostly beneficial

    30 vote(s)
    88.2%
  2. Mostly detrimental

    4 vote(s)
    11.8%
  1. Eleutherios

    Eleutherios New Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2009
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    In your personal experience, when in a long term relationship with another person, has pornography been mostly beneficial or mostly detrimental to its well being? I'm curious to see what your attitude towards pornography is, and though I understand that pornography's effect depends largely on the people involved, I'm simply wondering how it has affected your personal relationships past and present.
     
  2. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    My wife and I used to watch porn movies, partly for ideas and partly to get us fired up. That was before the internet and the bizarre things that have been thought up since its advent. At the time it was my wife's idea, which thrilled me, so we joined the x-rated section at the video rental store and rented tapes frequently.

    The plots were usually weak but funny, and they were much more entertaining than the raw stuff of today's instant gratification culture produces.

    She lost interest after a while, and by the time the VCR broke, DVDs came out, and so did a baby, we pretty much stopped watching them. It was fun while it lasted. That was all about 25 years ago, but today, even without the movies, we still get pretty heated up.

    Now that the nest is empty again, this has me thinking maybe we should try it again. I found an old tape the other day when I was getting my winter clothes out of my dresser, but there's no way to watch it now. I'm not going to buy a VCR.

    But to answer your question, it was fun. I hope they still make movies that are entertaining as well as sexual. And welcome to SF.
     
  3. suite91

    suite91 Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    I smell a research project! :jerkit

    My relationship is FAR from conventional so I'm not sure I can speak to relationships at large but in our case I voted beneficial. The benefit in our relationship is actually quite one sided as I am the only one who consumes porn with any regularity, though we have enjoyed movies together and found them 'inspirational'.

    There should really have been a "Neither" option. I cannot draw a direct benefit to the relationship - there would be no change if porn were to suddenly disappear - but there is also no detriment that I can measure either.

    Now my friends on the other hand.......
     
  4. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    I voted mostly beneficial. I did not notice the poll when I posted yesterday.
     
  5. Puss_in_boots

    Puss_in_boots Adminatrix
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2006
    Messages:
    6,443
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Porn has not been detrimental at all to my relationship, so I voted for "mostly beneficial." My SO and I have watched porn together once or twice as part of foreplay. I watch it occasionally for masturbatory purposes, and I'm certain he does as well. I believe that pornography in moderation can be highly inspirational for couples in healthy relationships.

    However, when one partner tries to hide his or her use of porn by sneaking around and lying about it, then that's the beginning of a long and painful road of mistrust and betrayal. Just be honest about your use of porn. Be up front about it. There's nothing wrong with useing porn in moderation. However, if you're so addicted to porn that you haven't left the house for a month, then you might want to consider getting help.
     
  6. suite91

    suite91 Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2007
    Messages:
    202
    Likes Received:
    9
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    AMEN SISTER! Sing it!

    If more people behaved like this on everything in their relationship there would be a lot more happy relationships!
     
  7. newnew997

    newnew997 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 22, 2008
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yeah, open and honest about it together looks like the best way.
     
  8. lasarus2k

    lasarus2k New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2009
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    wisconsin
    I didn't vote. I don't think it's a black and white situation.
     
  9. HardRocker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 24, 2006
    Messages:
    5,719
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    That's why the word mostly was included.
     
  10. Barbwire

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2007
    Messages:
    9,789
    Likes Received:
    174
    Gender:
    Female
    I agree, the way the poll is set up it really doesn't leave room for someone to say, "It didn't effect things one way or the other." There should be more options than the two listed.
     
  11. JuicyB

    JuicyB New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2006
    Messages:
    832
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Southern Cone
    I prefer the real thing! With a mirror!
     
  12. eandvk

    eandvk Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2005
    Messages:
    530
    Likes Received:
    20
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    illinois
    I voted mostly beneficial...my wife and I like watching some porn now and then together....at times its very arousing for both of us, sometimes we laugh or go OMG yuck or just overall enjoy ourselves viewing it...
     
  13. u0dcameron

    u0dcameron New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2009
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Ontario
    My GF and I have tried watching porn, just kinda find it weird to watch together she turns me on more than the porn and I don't like watching it while we have sex.
     
  14. phil anderer

    phil anderer New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2009
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK
    I have always found porn boring. The more explicit it gets the duller it gets. Some make it look more like a butchers shop than a bedroom.
     
  15. spaceforme

    spaceforme New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2009
    Messages:
    26
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    I personally feel that if porn is enjoyed together then it will be beneficial to the relationship.. But if one party is looking at it and the other despises it or doesnt approve.. it will likely lead to many problems throughout the relationship
     
  16. LuvHerHunnyPot

    LuvHerHunnyPot New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2007
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    ^Agreed!

    It can do so many wonderful things for couples. Like open up the lines of communication and illicit very specific discussions about a couples sex life. It can also liven up or breath new life into a couples sex life with exciting ideas.

    But when introduced into a relationship fraught with insecurities, a relationship can be broken beyond repair.

    Or introduced in a terrible way such as the man coming home with a movie that he chose and the woman reluctantly agrees and is mortified to see that he has chosen World's Largest Anal Gangbang #36. Simply not right.
     
  17. Rosebud29

    Rosebud29 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    16
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Liverpool, England
    Most definitely beneficial. I love watching porn with my guy! Preferably amateur/ home made.