Is my drive too high?!

Discussion in 'Sex and Relationships' started by blackraven92, Mar 5, 2013.

  1. blackraven92

    blackraven92 New Member

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    I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. We live together. He's 24 and I'm 20. He has never been one to really ask for sex much. I always ask first. I always initiate it. But everything just keeps getting worse. I have suggested everything I can think of that he may be ok with. He's pretty vanilla when it comes to sex but I'm more rocky road. I suggested light bondage and anal. I asked if he had fantasies.
    I have to BEG to give him head and every time he tells me maybe later or tomorrow. He knows that I'm horny but he just doesn't feel like it. He geeks really bad.
    Also he is definitely not cheating.
    Anyway please give any advice. Ask me anything ill be open.
     
  2. blackraven92

    blackraven92 New Member

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    I'm new. Please help!

    I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year. We live together and were both in our 20s. I'm just going to get straight to the point but feel free to ask for more info.
    I want sex so much more than he does. I could go every day multiple times. But once is enough to last him a week or longer. I have tried everything I know how, plus a little more. I have to beg for it! And sometimes he still tells me no. He is definitely not cheating, so please don't think that. I mean I will blatantly beg to give him a bj and he'll say "maybe later" or "maybe tomorrow".
    Of course because of this I have a slight attraction to a friend.
    I love my boyfriend more than anything and he shows that he feels the same.

    Please help me fix this!
     
  3. mrcock

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    Re: I'm new. Please help!

    does he smokes tobacco?
    does he do sports?
    does he eats healthy?
    does he sleeps 8 hours a day?
    what kinda job is his?
     
  4. blackraven92

    blackraven92 New Member

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    Re: I'm new. Please help!

    Yes he smokes :(
    He does do sports through work but not currently. However he plays drums A LOT and he plays really hard.
    He eats somewhat healthy. Hardly any soda ever.
    He sleeps about 7 but usually takes a nap
    Works in a warehouse third shift. :/

    Also I know that his past girlfriends and him did not have very much sex even though it was a short relationship.
     
  5. Mittimer

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    Threads have been merged, don't mind the double post. :)
     
  6. mrcock

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    look, if you ever ask me about health advice, first thing I tell, quit fucking tobacco. that gotta be a significant problem

    smokes a lot?
     
  7. blackraven92

    blackraven92 New Member

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    A few cigs a day. More on weekends. He has cut back quite a bit. I agree that is probably a factor. But other than that can you think of anything else?
     
  8. mrcock

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    if it is not health, which I doubt is not, it could be that he is just not into fucking as lot as you are
     
  9. Meee

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    Tired, disrupted body clock, smoking, not necessarily great health. When something isn't so great about a person's health or mental state, sexual desire is almost always one of the first things to go. Begging is not the way to communicate about this. "Maybe later" isn't the way either. The two of you need to develop a working relation that somehow adjusts to his schedule. Figure out what time of day and what days of the week he feels rested, relaxed, and energetic, if he ever does. Think about vacations, or mini-vacations, or just some time for R&R. Don't pressure him about sex for a while. Get a few other things in order first, and sex will probably improve almost on its own.
     
    #9 Meee, Mar 5, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 5, 2013
  10. lbushwalker

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    Dunno, real difference in libido always in existing is never going to change.
    You can't fix something that ain't really broke.
    Sadly I really don't think that they are suited for one another :(
     
  11. sandwich

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    Testosterone in men is highest in the am, so considering that he works third shift, when is his "morning"?
     
  12. blackraven92

    blackraven92 New Member

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    Usually about 430-6pm
    This stuff is great guys! I appreciate it!
     
  13. blackraven92

    blackraven92 New Member

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    That may be true.... I just want to exhaust every option twice. I can't give this up just yet :(
     
  14. Clintriprock

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    Get a new boyfriend. When sex is out of balance the relationship is doomed. I'm serious.Sex is the glue and when the glue is weak the relationship falls apart. When love is a battlefield nobody wins the war.
     
  15. will2of3

    will2of3 New Member

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    It comes down to communication. The two of you need to be honest with each other, tell him that your always horney. Get some suggestions from him about how he would help you both out. See what he really likes and do some of that for him. Stuff like that.
     
  16. blackraven92

    blackraven92 New Member

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    Thanks! I know it's possibly doomed but unless I exhaust everything I can't give up yet.
    Will2of3 I have told him that... We recently started discussing it again. I have asked him what he would like from me and what fantasies he might have but he says he is happy with the normal stuff we always do.... Which I'm not. ....
     
  17. blackraven92

    blackraven92 New Member

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    I thought I replied but I guess not? Anyway I have told him. More than once. Plus I pretty much beg which is pathetic. I have asked him what hd would like me to do, if there is anything he would like to try..... But he is perfectly happy with the regular stuff which I'm not. And he is content not having sex as much too but he is upset that it bothers me. He says he doesn't want me to be miserable our whole relationship....
     
  18. Meee

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    Edit: Never mind. I have to think about my reply some more.
     
    #18 Meee, Mar 6, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 6, 2013
  19. blackraven92

    blackraven92 New Member

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  20. Godiva

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    Hmm, this sounds familiar to me. I have 5 options for you.

    You could try "mind games" of the like, which i admit i've done (not in a manipulative way, just....not offering sex for a long while, soon they come begging for it once they think they can't have it)

    orrrrr..pep yourself up a bit. Improve ur appearance. New hair, clothes, make up whatever (though you risk looking worse to them, boys are weird).

    orrrr....
    simply ask him if its ok for you to be with other people for your needs, or him help you out with toys..... (this is if ur both ok with this)

    or stay frustrated as you are and busy yourself with too many activities so sex isn't on the mind.

    Or leave him for somone who will embrace ur sexuality. there are SO MANY horny men out there, more often then just vanilla men. Seriously.