Is it wrong to want sex with someone else?

Discussion in 'General Sex Discussion' started by fa66ster, Aug 25, 2011.

  1. fa66ster

    fa66ster New Member

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    My missus does not have my libido, She says I want it too much, I say not enough!

    I know we all have different libidos but it's causing a rift, I said 'if it's too much let me have sex with other women'........yeah imagine her response :eek

    How do you control a natural desire when lying in bed next to your missus naked?

    I want it 3-5 times a week which I don't see as excessive but she does.

    Should I be flicking my ole boy when I get the urge or getting some new pussy?!
     
  2. Mittimer

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    Depends on how you feel about your girlfriend/wife.

    If you're married and you truly care, talk it through and see where it goes. And yeah "flick the ole boy"

    If you don't give two shits about her, be a man and LEAVE her, don't just cheat on her and come back when shes in the mood.

    You can't have your cake and eat it too, bub.
     
  3. CosmicEye

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    Yep. Its only natural to be a male and want other women even while you already have a gf or married.

    You just have to have self control, its never worth cheating in the end. Talk with the lady. Sex isnt everything in a relationship altho no sex at all is bad. What other info can you tell us, how old are you guys and how long have you been together?
     
  4. Meee

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    No, tell us what her response was. Tell it to us in detail.
     
  5. RideNaked

    RideNaked New Member

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    I pretty much agree with the other responses here. IMhO, cheating is never worth it. If you discuss it and enter into an "agreement," that's different, but there are probably other dynamics that will cause issues as well. Masturbation, or "flicking the ole boy," as you quaintly put it, is my suggestion, as well. I'd like more info, like how open are you both to discussions of this nature, etc. I think my relationship with my Love has evolved best when we communicate, and stagnated when we've failed to be open about our wants/needs/desires.

    T
     
  6. thegreatest100

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    Well I'll tell you this. If she's already not able to keep up with you in bed, then the longer you date or after marriage, you'll get less and less. That is just human nature that the sparks starts to die. I know some rare cases the sex gets better and more often but that is not as common.
     
  7. HardRocker

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    It's rare to find a relationship in which, over the long haul, the woman wants sex as often as the man. You didn't say whether she wants to have sex once... twice a week. But that's just the way most men and women are wired. In your case, You da Man... so you better find a way get used to it.
     
  8. cbrmale

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    Probably in the longer term, sex five times a week is a lot. It would be hard to get excited over a near-everyday event. I find 3 times a week good, which is every second or third day, and that suits my wife as well, who looks forward to having sex. We usually have sex about 5 times a week on holiday.

    As far as extra-marital sex goes, that's generally more to do with variety than frequency from what I've read and what I have experienced. I find it interesting and exciting to have a new lover, and I did have an affair before my wife guessed what was going on. We then reached an agreement.
     
  9. fa66ster

    fa66ster New Member

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    We've been together for 18 years!

    I'm 37 & she's 34, we have a 2 year old too, which I guess is her main focus these days.
     
  10. RideNaked

    RideNaked New Member

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    Sounds like you're at one of life's plateaus, where you start asking that nagging question, "Is this all there is?" The proverbial "midlife crisis" is exactly this, but on a grander scale. Sometimes it's your job or career, sometimes your relationships, and sometimes, it becomes an all out assault on your life. I would bet that many an affair springs up in relationships in this time of life/length of relationship. I can't tell you how to fix it for you, other than to try to work it through, and make the effort, if you think its worth it. Having a two year old complicates the issue in that you just don't want to pull the plug, and run off every piece of tail you might find attractive (at least I wouldn't).

    T
     
  11. backcheck64

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    We were down to 2-3 times a week when we were in about the same position, but with a second kid. They were 20 months apart. Just rub one out once in a while... Don't be a douchbag with other women, unless you plan on divorcing and permanantly leaving. We've been together 29 yrs, marred 24 and we're 3 to 4 times a week. Things will vary, and the kid will make it more difficult later on, my wife works fairly early in the morning and at least twice a week we I'm at the rink with my kids till almost 11pm.
     
  12. Swunk

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    I realize there are many views on the "Do desires require moral validation?" question. i come down firmly on the NO side. Wanting sex is not wrong. What you either do or say as a result of the desire could very well be very wrong. We don't know. There is only one way to find out.

    Ride naked hit it on the head when they he told you to talk to her seriously about it. If you two can't even discuss whether or not your relationship is exclusive, one might assume things could get difficult. If you're not both fully in accord with one another, it will be messy, unpleasant, and just generally nasty. I'm talking about everything from sex-on-the-side, to dishes, to what color to paint the bathroom. Talk to her. Seriously.

    Also, be careful of what she says versus what she feels. I find one of our roommates pretty sexy, and we're also pretty close. My lady thinks it's cute, and likes to tease me about the two of us hooking up, tells me it would be so (fill in positive adjective). However, we're the two of us to actually hook-up, she'd be really hurt and upset.

    You've got to know each other and talk to each other in order to find out what you both want, why, and what you're gonna do about it. Good luck.
     
  13. Swunk

    Swunk Member

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    P.S. Hard rocker, you're icon is awesome, it always dances to my music. Right now it's Carnival Palace's "Suzy." Weeeee!
     
  14. Essene

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    It isn't wrong to want it, but it is wrong to do it without her permission.
     
  15. ply

    ply
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    First talk to her about it. Finish the talk up by telling her how many times a week you are going to have sex and if she wants all of those times to be with her to put out.

    If she doesn't mind you filling your desires elsewhere all is good. Otherwise it's put out or get out.
     
  16. Paula

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    Just get a new pussy if you don't respect her feelings or don't love her anyway.

    I don't think you ask too much, but respect her. If you can, just tell her. Maybe she will understand
     
  17. JennyKent

    JennyKent Banned

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    Yes, each of us have different level when it comes in sexual drive. But if you really love your wife/gf you should understand her although she is not a high libido than you but you should consider her, and if you think that solution is having sex in other women, I think it is not a good idea.