[Ask a Girl] Is it worth mentioning?

Discussion in 'Ask a Guy/Girl' started by NewHere, Oct 23, 2010.

  1. NewHere

    NewHere New Member

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    This one is for the girls. I have already gotten a few opinions that I highly value from guys. I just want to see if women look at it the same way I do. So my guy has lied to me several times about watching porn and masturbating. This isn't another post about why guys do it. I have read many of those and I get it.

    My question is if you think your SO is still lying to you about doing it, is it worth even bringing up if you have already told him you don't mind, you just want him to be honest about it? He has said that he lied before because he knew I wouldn't like it. He hasn't lied to me about anything else. I think he is just embarrassed. Should I leave it at him having his "little secret"? Or do you think his white lie about this could turn into bigger lies down the road?

    We have been together almost 3 years now. The relationship is good. No real issues, aside from me wanting sex more, but then again, who doesn't? :p
     
  2. Mittimer

    Gold Member

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    I just had my Fiancee read this post and he actually said something that I think would be a good idea. Wait until you catch him doing it, then mention it again. Odds are, you'll catch him doing it.

    I personally think it's worth mentioning. I would hate to be lied to about something so petty.
     
  3. luckyduck

    luckyduck New Member

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    Me and my wife had this discussion yesterday. Her ex used to lie to her about watching porn and it made her so mad she called his mother. I guess it was because he lied to her about it the whole time. When we got together I never lied to her about it. I put one in when we were going to bed and she watched it with me. Now she watches as much porn as I do.
     
  4. pyr

    pyr New Member

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    Perhaps he's lying to you, because he's shy. You could just drop it and let him have his little secret.

    I have a long term partner and I try to give him space. As long as he's happy, it's OK with me.
     
  5. RoyaleWithCheese92

    RoyaleWithCheese92 New Member

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    I know you sad you already have your 'guy' answers, however I would like to know what other guys said. Could you sum it up for me?

    I have watched porn like 3 times in the last 2 years its just not my thing. I used to tho. I have plenty of guy friends who cant masturbate with out it. Some of them have gf's that say they wont get mad but flip out and considering it cheating. (Which is ridiculous) Im sure you know girls like that, and I am sure he has some guy friends like mine too.

    You said you don't care but he may feel embarrassed to admit he does. I never lied to my gf's but I think I would lie about watching porn, not masturbating, simply because its not a big deal but its embarrassing.

    If he never lies to you about anything else then believe him. If you stumble upon him in the act, (no catch him, that sounds like you don't believe him and your looking for it) Then deal with it. If you do "stumble" upon him doing it, my advice, say: "ooh, I see you were waring up for me, do you want me to let you finish up or do you want me to finish you off." Oh turn the porn off tho lol
     
    #5 RoyaleWithCheese92, Oct 24, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 25, 2010
  6. NewHere

    NewHere New Member

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    I'm not sure I will catch him again. It took 3 years for the first time lol. And he promised me he wouldn't when I was home anymore. I am always more than willing to help :p I do have to admit though, I have been almost like a detective when he is home to see if he is keeping his promise. Not snooping through his stuff or anything, but listening and going by him when he is on his pc and thinks I am sleeping.

    And I love watching porn with him. I guess I just hate the fact that he would "waste it" when he could be having sex with me. I want it more than we are having, so it doesn't feel fair. That's what got me mad. Why get off to other girls when your girl wants to get off with you more?

    And I definitely want him happy. He makes me happier than any man I have ever met in my life.

    Most have said that even when they have girls, they still masturbate. Some because they are bored. Some just want a "snack" that is quick and easy. My bf even told me that he only did it when he had they urge, did his business, then went on with his day and thought nothing else about it. I just don't see why he couldn't wait for me to get home. Sometimes I get even more worked up when I wait for him instead of taking care of it myself.

    I have considered this too. He does tend to be a shy guy about some things. He has just never been shy towards me. And I HATE that he lied to me more than once about this. I even told him that I didn't mind, I just wanted him to be honest. He looked in my eyes and told me he was done. Then turned around and did it again, wth? ???

    I know he never wants to hurt me and this is just a "female thing", me being pissy about it. He gets upset if he even things he has done something to disappoint me. I just want to be able to put it behind me and I am having trouble :ugh
     
  7. RoyaleWithCheese92

    RoyaleWithCheese92 New Member

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    Thanks for answering all of the comments i left.

    First off, I understand the other guys "snack" reasoning. Its quick and easy. If your not available then its one thing. If you are available, then I understand the frustration.

    I am a shy guy around most people when it comes to personal things I could tell my last gf anything, which is why I loved her. That being said, when she asked how often I masturbate... I would tell her, "not that often", or lowball her. I know she wouldn't care but to me, it would be a little embarrassing to admit that I masturbate way more often than I led on. Yes I lied but then again, I told her I did it, just not how often.

    You told him you don't mind he does it. He may continue to do it because he doesn't think you will get upset if you catch him again. After all, you did tell him you don't care. (Guys make since out of crazyness sometimes) His justification could be somewhat like mine would be. "Well you said you don't care, but its embarrassing to admit...." Technically it is a lying but may not see it that way. Like you said, "He gets upset if he even things he has done something to disappoint me.".

    Stop snooping. I know it is easier said than done. It will drive you crazy and he may pick up on the fact that you are trying to catch him. More of a reason to hide it.

    You also mentioned that you wait for him and don't know why he couldn't wait for you. You get more worked up when you wait but guys are different. For me, the more I get worked up, the less I can function doing other things. Getting all worked up or getting the urge and not taking care of it "snack" as you put it, gets it out of the way. Plus BLUE balls are a bitch! If you want sex more than your having it... Just tell him. I would choose my girlfriend over "palmala" any day!